The Picture: Part 1-The Truth
by CandasaurFlag
Summary: The truth will set you free. It will also cause you a heck of a lot of pain. Is it better to know, or not to know? You can debate this for yourself, but while you're doing that, Phineas and Ferb want to know the truth about where their inventions go at the end of the day. Time may prove this venture to be a HUGE mistake... or the best thing they've ever done. T for violence.
1. Chapter 1: Tears, Toilet Paper,Terabytes

The Picture: Part One

The Truth

Author's note: Before I say anything else, I would like to apologize to those

who watch Phineas and Ferb and are very familiar with it. When I first wrote this I

included background on the characters that you will already be familiar with in case

a non-Phineas and Ferb fan ever read it. Bear with me, it doesn't take long to get

through.

I started writing this fan fic over three years ago, when I first started

getting into Phineas and Ferb. As I watched the show, I noticed that

Phineas, Ferb, Candace, and Isabella's happy-go-lucky world existed in a

delicate balance. It was founded upon one bedrock principle-information,

specifically, the lack thereof. Phineas and Ferb are able to continue inventing

because Linda doesn't know what they're doing and thus can't put a stop to

it. Candace constantly tries to bust them to her, but she is unable to because

she doesn't know about Dr. Doofenshmirtz, who builds the -inators that always

get rid of Phineas and Ferb's inventions. Doofenshmirtz is also unable to

directly interfere in Perry the Platypus's private life because he doesn't know

where he lives or who he lives with. I suppose Perry is the master of the

situation-he knows both sides of the story. Lucky for everyone else, he keeps

his knowledge to himself and allows their world to remain intact.

As I observed this, I asked myself the obvious question: "What would happen

if the smoke cleared and the mirrors were shattered and everyone learned the

truth about their world?" The answer was... this fan fic. What you are about to

read is the first of a long, four-part Phineas and Ferb story, in which the

characters get a very rude awakening from their tiny little happy bubbles and

get dragged into a nasty little thing called reality. Reading this may have you

wondering if some things are best kept hidden... but then again, John did say

in the Bible that the truth would set you free. The story begins on a typical

morning at the Flynn-Fletcher household...

Chapter 1

Tears, Toilet Paper and Terabytes

"Hey Mom!"

"Hi boys."

Phineas and Ferb had just got up. They were headed for the cabinet to

wolf down some sugar cereal before they made their next creation.

"Phineas, did you see your sister up there?" his mom asked.

"No, she ran off after our Big and Obvious Ride disappeared

yesterday!" Phineas replied. He yanked the cabinet open and a box of cereal

fell out and landed on Ferb's head. He didn't say anything. He didn't talk

much. It bounced off and Phineas caught it.

"Sorry, Ferb!" Phineas cried, "I must not have put that back all the

way!"

"Actually, I put it back yesterday," Ferb said in his calm British

accent.

"I'm worried about her," Mom interjected, "she's always so frantic.

I don't understand how any kid could be so stressed out during Summer

Vacation."

"Ah, Mom, all Candace wants is for you to see all the awesome stuff

we build!" Phineas replied, "But every time you come home, it disappears!"

"She was trying to figure out where they go yesterday, but, alas,

victory escaped her grasp once again." Ferb added.

"I wonder if having to watch you two every day gets her worked up, so

that when the slightest thing happens she freaks out and calls me for help,"

Mom continued. She sighed, "You know what, I think I'll call a sitter today

so Candace can take a break."

"It not that, Mom, Candace wants you to know the truth!" Phineas said,

"Hey Ferb, I'll bet she's down in the dumps after what happened yesterday! We

can give her breakfast in bed to cheer her up!"

Phineas grabbed a bowl from the cabinet and poured cereal into it.

There was an awkward silence as he did.

"Well?" Ferb asked.

Phineas looked up. He seemed puzzled. "What?"

"Ferb, I know what we're gonna do today!" Mom cried.

"Huh? No, that'd stress her out worse!" Phineas replied with horror,

"She'd be like 'Mom! Phineas and Ferb are making a breakfast machine!' Then

Mom would come and the machine would be gone and Mom would make some remark

that makes it worse and then Perry would walk in and I'd say 'Oh, there you

are Perry!' and then Mom would ask who wants snacks and we'd follow her out of

the room and leave Candace standing there with that weird shocked stare and

going, 'But-but-but-but...' We'd ruin her day before it even started!"

"Gosh, you've got the whole thing memorized," Mom said with awe.

"Our lives are incredibly routine," Ferb remarked.

"Yep, and it's wearing on Candace's nerves," Phineas pulled a spoon

out of the drawer, poured some milk in the cereal and filled a glass with

orange juice. "C'mon, Ferb, Candace needs us!" he said firmly.

Ferb followed Phineas through the living room and up the stairs.

In case you didn't watch the show, I should give some background.

Phineas and Ferb are two ten-year-old stepbrothers on Summer vacation. Every

day their Mom and Dad leave the house and leave their teenage sister, Candace,

in charge (conditionally). Phineas and Ferb are sworn to have the greatest Summer

Vacation ever, and every day they make something fun and incredible (not to

mention almost physically impossible). Candace is constantly trying to bust

them for it and every day she calls Mom and when she gets home the thing

somehow magically disappears and then Mom thinks Candace is even more of an

idiot than she did the day before and poor Candace is left to say, "But-"

over and over or sigh in frustration or go to her room or break down and cry

in despair or-you get the idea. Phineas explained the usual routine earlier.

Anyway, Phineas and Ferb reached the top and then walked quickly down

the hallway to Candace's door. Phineas opened the door slowly. "Candace?" He

asked quietly.

"Bu...fama...gimma...mum..." someone mumbled.

Phineas and Ferb glanced toward the sound. Phineas gasped and nearly

dropped the bowl.

"Candace, what happened?!" he cried.

Candace looked horrible. She was lying in bed, on her back, babbling

nonsense. Her sunken, bloodshot eyes darted about madly. They had deep,

black bags sagging far beneath them. Her hair was tangled and knotted and all

over the place. She gasped and hissed and babbled and shook. All around the

room furniture had been knocked over and things were broken and stuff was

strewn about and... long story short, something was really, really wrong.

Candace didn't answer, she just blabbered some more.

Phineas was nervous. He was awesome, but he was still just a kid.

"Ferb, what's wrong with her? What do we do?" he cried frantically.

"Give me that bowl," Ferb said calmly.

Phineas handed him the bowl. Ferb marched up to the gibbering and

writhing Candace.

"Candace, we've brought you breakfast." he said simply, then smashed

the bowl of cereal in her face.

Candace squealed and jumped five feet into the air before landing in a

heap on the ground.

"Thanks, I needed that," she groaned.

"Candace, what's the matter?" Phineas asked worriedly.

"What do you think is the matter!" she snapped.

"I don't know," he replied.

"What do you mean you don't know?" she yelled.

"Your level of distress seems greater than usual," Ferb began, "An

uncommon show of madness seems to indicate that an uncommon event must have

occurred."

"You looked like you were having a seizure!" Phineas added.

Candace growled and then sighed. "I..." she began, "I can't..."

"Can't what?" Phineas asked.

"I can't do it Phineas!" she cried, "I'm a failure! WAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"

Candace was sitting on the floor, covered in Super-Chunky Sugar Puffs,

crying like a baby.

Phineas was startled. He wasn't sure what to do. He noticed Candace

was still in her normal clothes instead of her pajamas.

"Candace, did you sleep last night?" he inquired.

"N-n-n-n-nooo!" she stammered.

"Why?"

"C-c-couldn't s-sleep, h-hhad t-t-to f-find ou-out w-where..."

Suddenly it clicked. Phineas didn't know why it had taken him so

long.

"You were still trying to figure out where all our stuff is going!" he

declared.

"Y-yeah, but-"

Phineas cut her off. His beloved sister was suffering, and he would

do whatever it took to help her.

"Candace, Ferb and I are gonna find out where all our creations are

going so you can finally bust us! I know what we're gonna do today!" With

that, Phineas took off down the hallway.

Ferb hung back a moment. "Hey, where's Perry?" he asked.

Perry the Platypus darted through the house, hiding behind the

furniture and making his way to the secret wall slot next to the stairs

that led to his secret lair beneath the house.

Perry the Platypus was a secret agent. He couldn't talk and he looked

like a beaver/duck, but he was probably the world's greatest spy. He had

lived with Phineas and Ferb for years and had never been discovered, at least,

not without the intruder's memory being wiped.

But something was going to go wrong today.

Perry peeked out from behind the couch, glancing right and left. The

coast was clear. He jumped for the wall and slapped the slot. It flipped

over and threw Perry down the tube inside the wall and hurled him through it

at a gut-wrenching hundred miles per hour. He slammed down into his seat in

front of a giant videophone where Major Monogram, his commander, would brief

him every day.

"Good morning Agent P," Major Monogram said curtly, "We have some

disturbing news. Doofenshmirtz has purchased a roll of toilet paper."

Perry gave Monogram a blank look.

"What?" Monogram asked, "He's clearly up to no good."

Perry continued his stare. He was sure Doofenshmirtz went to the

bathroom like everyone else on the planet.

A dorky looking college student stuck his head in front of Monogram's.

"Whether it has anything to do with the toilet paper, Doofenshmirtz is always

up to something."

Perry nodded. That was true.

"Carl, you're blocking my view," Monogram griped.

"Sorry, sir," Carl pulled his head back.

"So, uh... Doofenshmirtz is up to something, go find out what it is!"

Major Monogram ordered. Perry gave him a sharp salute and dashed for his

escape pod.

"Good luck Agent P. Uh... sorry Carl, I wouldn't have had any reason

to send him without you," Monogram said.

"Yeah, whatever," Carl mocked.

Perry ran for the pod, dived through the door, strapped himself in and

then it blasted back up the tube, heading for the roof.

Unfortunately, Perry didn't realize that at that same moment Phineas

was barreling down the stairs. In his mad rush he tripped over his own feet

and flew down five steps and ran smack into the wall.

Right where the secret slot was.

It flipped over and threw Phineas into the tube just as Perry rocketed

past. Flailing wildly, Phineas instinctively tried to catch something to stop

his fall and inadvertently grabbed onto the escape pod. Perry didn't notice

because Phineas latched onto the back, holding onto a maintenance handle. He

and Phineas flew threw the top of the tube and high up into the sky. Perry

had input coordinates to send the pod straight to Doofenshmirtz's high rise.

He gazed ahead with anticipation. It was time to start the day.

It took Phineas a few seconds to realize what was happening, and when

he did he made like Candace and started screaming his head off. One minute he

was tumbling down the stairs and the next he was 10,000 feet in the air. He

gripped the maintenance handle for dear life, knuckles white. After a few

seconds he stopped screaming and relaxed a little. He reached up and grabbed

the handle with his other hand as well for stability, then he began looking

around.

He was high over the city clinging to a small, rocket-powered craft.

He watched his house descend into oblivion as the pod roared toward downtown.

"This is not what I was going to do today," Phineas remarked. He

looked up and saw Perry in the cockpit (which was more or less the whole pod).

"Hey it's Perry!" He exclaimed, "This must be where he goes every day!

Cool!"

The rocket blasted all the way up to a tall, purple building in the

center of town. There was a large billboard logo on top.

Phineas read it. "Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated." Right as he said

it, he heard a sudden musical jingle and some voices that said in a singsong

tone:

"Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated!"

Phineas glanced about trying to figure out where the voices had come

from, but no one was there

"That was weird," he said bluntly.

The rocket smashed through the roof of Doofenshmirtz's (very large)

apartment. Perry always made an explosive entrance. He opened the pod and

leapt out, tumbling expertly as he hit the floor and landing upright, combat

stance, ready for action.

Phineas hit the ground with the rocket and rolled off badly, flumping

into a pile of garbage and landing on his backside. He shook himself and

looked over at Perry, who was somehow still unaware he was there. Perry was

wearing a brown secret agent hat that Phineas had never seen before, on him at

least. Phineas glanced around the room in awe. There were all sorts of huge

machines and mechanical junk lying around, especially big laser beam things.

"Whoa," Phineas breathed.

"Ah, Perry the Platypus, right on time, as usual." a demented voice

said. Suddenly, a cage fell from the ceiling and crashed down on top of

Perry, trapping him inside. He gripped the bars, looking angry.

"Perry!" Phineas yelled.

"Perry the Platypus you're so stupid," the deranged voice said.

A goofy-looking man in a lab coat stepped out from the shadows and walked

toward the cage, "Seriously, every single day you smash through my wall or

through my ceiling or through my window or my door, that has a handle by the

way, you really should use it it would save me so much on paying the

repairman. Um... uh... what was I talking about?"

It was the evil Dr. Doofenshmirtz, Perry's nemesis. He spent his time

concocting evil (though they're usually more stupid than evil) plans to wreak

havoc all across the Tri-State area.

Perry stared boredly at the idiot. Doofenshmirtz always trapped him.

It was part of the routine. He'd break in, Doofenshmirtz would trap him,

then he'd tell Perry all about his latest gadget and latest scheme, then Perry

would escape, they'd fight with each other, Perry would win and he'd ruin

Doofenshmirtz's plan and destroy his machine. Perry would then escape and

Doofenshmirtz would shout after him, "Curse you Perry the Platypus!" and

it'd be over. Then, the next day, they started all over again. It was a

glorious rivalry, and both Perry and Doofenshmirtz got a kick out of hating

each other. They were best friends and worst enemies at the same time.

If that makes sense.

Doofenshmirtz tried in vain to remember what he had been saying, then

finally gave up and said, "Forget it." Then he turned to a huge contraption

covered in a white cloth. "Behold! The Toilet Paperinator!" He ripped the

cloth off, revealing what most people would describe as a large ray gun. It

had a roll of toilet paper stuffed into a clip at the back.

Perry stared incredulously at the Toilet Paperinator, simultaneously

astounded at Doofenshmirtz's idiotic invention and also irritated that Major

Monogram had actually been on to something with the roll of toilet paper.

Before Doofenshmirtz began describing it, however, Perry noticed the cage

lifting off him. He looked up and saw, to his horror, none other than his

owner Phineas. Phineas had snuck over to the cage and picked it up. Although

Perry was grateful for the help, this also meant his cover had been blown sky-

high.

"What do you think that big laser gun does, Perry?" Phineas asked him.

Perry stood frozen for a moment in pure shock, staring at Phineas with his

beak agape. Finally, not knowing what else to do, he gave Phineas his usual

response.

"Gurughghghug..." Perry growled.

"So Perry the Platypus what do you think? With this ray, I can turn

anything into TOILET PAPER!" Doofenshmirtz laughed. I'll

transform everything of value into worthless sheets of TWO-PLY! The people

will beg me to stop, but I won't until they make me ruler of the entire, Tri-

State Area! AHAHAHAHAHA!"

Perry, though he was still stunned by Phineas's intrusion, still had

the presence of mind to be totally unimpressed.

Apparently Phineas wasn't impressed either. "So let me get this

straight... that gun turns stuff into toilet paper? Man, what a waste of

time, if you build something cool it should at least be, well, cool."

Doofenshmirtz whirled around. His eyes bugged out. "Perry the

Platypus you talked! I thought that... huh? Hey, who are you?"

"Phineas Flynn, Perry's owner," Perry did a double take, "and I don't

appreciate you trapping him."

Doofenshmirtz looked at Perry. He smirked. "Perry the Platypus

you're a PET? Hee hee... you have an OWNER? Does he tuck you in at night,

and clean up your poop? Hee hee AHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

"Why yes, yes I do." Phineas replied unhelpfully. Doofenshmirtz

laughed harder.

That was enough. Perry ran at Doofensmirtz and laid into him with a

solid punch in the face. Doofenshmirtz crashed to the floor and raised his

hands to fend off Perry's next attack. "Hey, your starting too- OW!"

Doofenshmirtz yelled as Perry slapped him with his pelt. Doofenshmirtz

grabbed him and flung him into another machine. The fight was on.

Ferb ran all over the house, trying to find Phineas. He checked all

the rooms and all the closets and even on the roof, but he was nowhere to be

found. He finally stopped in the hallway outside Candace's room. He thought

a moment. He figured he could get started and hope that Phineas would show up

later, or he could keep running around like a chicken with his head cut off

trying to find him and waste valuable Summertime and possibly delay their

project long enough to prevent it from even happening. He mulled it over and

decided he knew what Phineas would want him to do if he were there. Ferb took

off down the stairs, heading for the garage. Phineas or no Phineas, it was

time to get started.

Candace hadn't moved. She kept weeping silently. Phineas had been

partly right. She was upset because she could never bust them, but there was

more to it. Not only was her life's dream of busting her brothers hopeless,

but the fact that that WAS her life's dream was eating at her like a moose

chewing on grass or... no, wait... like a worm eating dirt or... more like a

cactus drinking water? GYARARAGHHH! She couldn't even come up with a

clever way to express herself in her own head!

Candace growled. What was really bothering her was that even if she

ever caught Phineas and Ferb... what happened after that? Busting Phineas and

Ferb was her entire life. She drank busting juice like a fish drinks water.

That one wasn't too bad...

But say Phineas succeeded and they got busted today? Candace loved

the idea of them getting caught, but she didn't want to think of what came

afterward... because she didn't know what it would be. She'd be done. Her

life would be over.

Simply put, without Phineas and Ferb, busting them, then who was

Candace?

And that's what was bothering her! She had no identity in and of

herself. She was the Busting Queen! That was it! If she ever lost that she

was nobody, and that was really, really pathetic. Candace's whole being was

dependent on her brothers and their wild creations. That, by itself was

pathetic, even if she didn't ever bust them.

Anyway, that was the problem. Candace felt pathetic. She was a loser

who only mattered because of her brothers. The realization of all that was

killing her.

Candace didn't know what to do. She would never be happy with herself

again until she found a good reason to exist. Everything she could think of

doing somehow ended up finding it's way back to busting Phineas and Ferb.

She stared into space for a while. She thought she heard hammering

outside... but she wasn't up to busting her brothers right then, so she just

kept staring until she finally dropped off into an exhausted sleep.

"Hey Ferb, watcha doin'?" Isabella asked.

Isabella was a good friend of Phineas and Ferb. She and her band of

Fireside Girls (Girl Scouts, more or less), acted as their all-in-one Swiss

Army Knife support group. Isabella and her intrepid crew would perform any

task Phineas and Ferb asked them to to help them complete their wild projects.

"Building the world's most powerful sensor. It can gather all kinds

of information from even the faintest sources, and everything it picks up is

instantly recorded in multiple computers in..." Ferb stopped to swallow, he

wasn't used to talking this much, "the ground and in various places where even

a hydrogen bomb couldn't reach or damage them."

"I see..." Isabella replied uncertainly, she was used to something

cooler, "so... why are you building it? Besides to make something cool, I

mean."

Ferb sighed. He didn't want to talk anymore. Where was Phineas when

you needed him? "As you know, Candace was once again foiled yesterday when

she tried to discover where our creations go. The whole episode has her in

quite a state, crying and gibbering and not sleeping. We mean to help her

bust us to cheer her up. When whatever always removes our inventions removes

this one, it will send vital information about the "remover" as one may call

it to the computers and tell us exactly what happened and, if we're lucky, how

and possibly where and why."

Ferb wiped his forehead and started panting. He'd spoken more in the

past minute then he usually did in a week.

"Oh, I get it now!" Isabella exclaimed, "This'll tell us what's

happening to all of our creations!"

"Precisely," Ferb said.

"Wow, Ferb. You talked a lot just now," Isabella commented.

"Yes, Phineas is usually here to do that for me," Ferb groaned.

"Where is he anyway?"

"He disappeared shortly after an incident with Candace this morning.

I believe he's gone to find something to help her, but I don't know if that's

actually the case."

"Wow, maybe we should-hey, do you think that sensor could help us find

Phineas?"

"If he's anywhere within a hundred miles of here it'll pick up his

voice, body heat, brain waves, current location, date of birth and probably a

lot more information than you could ever want about him."

"Great, let's fire it up!"

"Well, it's not finished. It needs one more thing."

"What's that?"

"A ten-million terabyte hard drive for all the information. Those

computers will have a lot to store."

"I think one of DanvilleUniversity's supercomputers have one of

those! Be back in a flash!" With that, Isabella dashed off to get her bike.

Ferb turned and looked at the sensor. It was basically a huge sattelite dish

with something that looked like a huge ironclad light bulb at the tip over the

center.

"I wonder if Phineas is with Perry," Ferb said.

He was. He watched in confusion as Perry and Doofenshmirtz battled

each other. Doofenshmirtz had pulled out a disintegrating ray gun and was

firing wildly at Perry. Perry ducked and dodged and leapt, expertly evading

every attack. After a few shots, Perry ran forward and dived past

Doofenshmirtz. He slid right into Doofenshmirtz's control panel, clonking his

head nicely.

Doofenshmirtz cackled. "That mistake will cost you, Perry the

Platypus! Prepare to be disintegratinated!" He took aim and fired, straight

at Perry.

Nothing happened. Doofenshmirtz looked down at his gun and saw his

hands clutching air. He looked back up. Perry rolled onto his back, grinned

at him and pulled out the disintegratinator ray. He pointed it right at

Dr. Doofenshmirtz.

"Uh, oh," Doofenshmirtz said unnecessarily.

The mad doctor let out a mad howl of pure terror and dived behind his

Shrinkinator gun. Perry fired and disintegrated the weapon, leaving

Doofenshmirtz exposed. The mad scientist ran behind something else. It got

vaporized as well. He fled into the bathroom and slammed the door behind him.

Perry blasted the door. It was gone now too.

But Doofenshmirtz wasn't behind it.

Perry approached the door cautiously. Doofenshmirtz was probably

hiding behind the wall. He reached the threshold, then leapt through, firing

first to his left, then to his right, hoping to annihilate Doofenshmirtz

before he was ambushed.

To his surprise, Doofenshmirtz wasn't there. He looked left and right

and forward. Strange... he looked up. Nope, he wasn't clinging to the

ceiling... Perry looked back down. He gaved a startled, "Gurrururghugh!" as

Doofenshmirtz burst out of the toilet and landed on top of him.

Perry had no idea how the guy had stuffed himself into the toilet, but

he'd done it, and now he and Perry both had their hands on the

disintegratinating gun (Doofenshmirtz had turned it away from both of them)

and were caught in a vicious tug-of-war for it.

"Ha ha!" Doofenshmirtz laughed, "I made a special compartment for

myself in the toilet just in case I ever needed a perfect hiding spot!"

"The hard drive is in place!" Isabella cried.

"All right then, let's see what this can do," Ferb replied. He and

Isabella were sitting at a laptop in front of the sensor. Ferb flipped a

switch and the computer screen immediately came alive with a well-rendered map

that displayed visual volumes of both useful and unnecessary information on

every speck of dirt there was (and that was just in the Tri-State area).

Both Isabella and Ferb were dumbfounded. Even Ferb hadn't imagined

how much detail it would give them.

"I can see the floorplan of the entire house," Ferb noted.

"I didn't know it had all those tunnels underneath it!" Isabella

exclaimed with awe, "It looks like they all lead to a big room with a huge

TV screen!"

"And it's not just getting our house, it looks like Baljeet is

studying in his room, Buford is on the toilet, and... this must be a

mistake."

"What?"

"It says Phineas is all the way across town, with Perry and a man

named Heinz Doofenshmirtz, in a skyscraper that houses Doofenshmirtz Evil

Incorporated on the fiftieth floor next to the bathroom. Perry appears to be

struggling with this, "Doofenshmirtz" character. They're in a room with a lot

of what appear to be giant ray guns, control panels and various kinds of

machinery."

Isabella looked closely at the tiny images of Phineas, Perry,

Doofenshmirtz and the room they were in, as well as the purple skyscraper.

"I wonder what they're doing," she said.

"Let's find out," Ferb said. He pushed a button on the laptop. The

sensor turned toward the downtown area.

"It's focusing all its sensory capacities on that room." Ferb told

Isabella.

Ferb and Isabella watched as the screen went dark except for the room

that Phineas was in. It then zoomed in on it until Phineas, Perry,

Doofenshmirtz and the part of the room they were in were the only things

visible.

"Wow! I can see their faces!" Isabella cried.

"It looks like Perry and Doofenshmirtz are fighting over a little ray

gun," Ferb observed.

"Phineas looks worried," Isabella noted, "that doesn't happen much."

"I imagine this is a rattling day even for him. When did Perry get

that hat?" Ferb wondered.

The speakers crackled, then a scratchy, maniacal voice blared, "Let go

of my Disintegratinator, Perry the Platypus, so I can disintegratinate you!"

"C'mon Perry! Pull!" Phineas yelled.

"No way! It gets SOUND?" Isabella exclaimed.

"Indeed it does. We're effectively standing in the room with Phineas

without actually being there," Ferb replied.

"Whoa," Isabella said.

Perry leaned forward and pecked Doofenshmirtz repeatedly in the shin.

"Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Perry the Platy-Ow! Owow! Stop it! OW! GRRRAH!"

Doofenshmirtz finally gave Perry a good, hard kick that sent him flipping out

through the air and into the bathroom. Phineas, Ferb and Isabella winced.

Perry landed in the sink. He ducked just in time to avoid a shot from the

Disintegratenator. The laser went over Perry and struck the mirror behind the

sink. The mirror reflected the shot right back at Doofenshmirtz, who barely

sidestepped in time. The ray hit his lab coat and vaporized the whole thing.

"Oooh!" Isabella cried.

"Yikes!" Doofenshmirtz yelped, eyes wide with terror, "That was a

close one!"

"What's Perry got there?" Ferb asked.

Perry pulled a miniature saw out from under his hat and sawed a chunk

of the mirror off. Doofenshmirtz recovered and fired the Disintegratinator at

him. Ferb and Isabella both nearly jumped out of their skins.

"Perry watch out!" Isabella screamed.

"NOO!" Ferb shouted.

Luckily, Perry was fast. As Doofenshmirtz pulled the trigger he

yanked the mirror chunk out in front of him, sending the laser right back into

the Disintegratinator and vaporizing it.

"Hey, what the-?" Doofenshmirtz yelled, "Perry the Platypus what did

you do?"

"Whew!" Isabella sighed in relief.

"I just about threw up my stomach!" Ferb exclaimed shakily.

Perry leapt from the sink and began running for the Toilet Paperinator.

"Oh no you don't!" Doofenshmirtz said. He stuck out his leg and

tripped Perry as he ran past.

"You leave Perry alone!" Isabella cried angrily.

"That's my platypus you just tripped," Ferb said indignantly.

Doofenshmirtz let out a deranged war cry and leapt on top of Perry.

The two of them were soon engaged in a vicious brawl. Doofenshmirtz punched Perry in the

Bill. Perry poked him in the eye. He strangled Perry. Perry kicked him

in the stomach. Doofenshmirtz doubled over then retaliated by falling on top

of him. Doofenshmirtz sat up with Perry still beneath him. Perry struggled

to get up and gagged as Doofenshmirtz began vibrating/bouncing on top of him.

"Hee hee! Who knew my fat tushy doubled as a Platypus trap?"

Doofenshmirtz cried gleefully.

Isabella cringed as she watched Perry getting mashed against

Doofenshmirtz's carpet.

"Why doesn't Phineas help him?" she cried desperately.

"Look," Ferb replied simply.

Isabella looked at the other side of the screen. Phineas was at the

control panel for one of Doofenshmirtz's large guns. He was aiming carefully

at Doofenshmirtz.

"Phineas IS helping him! He's going to save him!" Isabella shouted

with delight.

Perry was stuck. He could get out of all of Doofenshmirtz's other

traps, but the constant vibrating and wiggling of Doofenshmirtz's hind end

was knocking him around and making it unusually difficult to escape.

"Ha ha! Just try and get out of this one Perry the Platypus! You'll

be stuck under my hiny fore-!" Doofenshmirtz didn't finish. Their was a flash

of cream-colored light and suddenly Perry found himself under a giant roll of

toilet paper.

"Huh? Wha? Perry the Platypus what did you do? What happened? I

don't feel right..." Doofenshmirtz's voice rang from the toilet paper.

Perry looked over at the Toilet Paperinator. Phineas was standing at

the control panel. He'd shot Dr. Doofenshmirtz with it. He looked at Perry

and grinned.

Perry gave him a thumbs up and made his weird Platypus growl.

"Yay, Phineas!" Isabella cried joyfully, "My hero!"

"Nicely done," Ferb said, smiling.

Perry climbed out from under the toilet paper. He walked over to

Phineas.

"Wow Perry, that was awesome!" Phineas exclaimed, "Is this where you

go every day?"

Perry growled.

"Man, we already did something cool and the day hasn't even started

yet. We haven't even built anything!"

Ferb and Isabella gave each other meaningful glances. If only he

knew...

"C'mon Perry, we've still got the whole day ahead of us. We've got to

help Candace bust us!"

Perry grabbed Phineas's hand and prepared to rocket off.

"Perry the Platypus you get back here! I'm not done!" Doofenshmirtz

the toilet paper screamed.

Perry and Phineas turned to see toilet-paper Doofenshmirtz bouncing

toward the wall, which he probably thought was Perry (toilet paper is blind).

He tripped and began to unroll. He unrolled right into the Toilet Paperinator

and sent it swiveling into the control panel. It hit some button combination

that caused it to start firing randomly all over the place. All around the

room, machines, furniture, the toilet and a host of other things were getting

turned into rolls of quality two-ply. Doofenshmirtz got hit and reverted back

to his human form. Phineas and Perry ducked a ray that blasted out the window

and across Danville.

"That's funny," Ferb said, "that ray seems to be pointing directly

at-" He and Isabella looked up just in time to see a cream-colored laser (a

very slow one, apparently) streaking across the sky and right at them. It

nailed the sensor and turned it into a big roll of toilet paper.

The computer screen went blank. Big green letters appeared on it that

said, "SIGNAL LOST."

"Transmission interrupted," the computer said.

Ferb and Isabella were dumbfounded. They stared in awe at the toilet

paper for a full minute.

Ferb finally spoke. "Well, we finally know where all our stuff goes."

he said.

"So this Doofenshmirtz guy is the one that makes it so Candace can't

ever bust you!" Isabella said in awe.

"We also know where Perry goes," Ferb added.

"Hey..." Isabella started, "if that was all real, then I wonder-"

"How does Perry get back?" Ferb finished.

They looked toward downtown and got their answer. In the sky, they

saw a Platypus with a glider and a rocket booster carrying a kid flying toward

the house. As they got close they could see clearly that it was Perry and

Phineas. Perry noticed them watching and landed in front of them. There was

no point in being secretive if his cover was already blown.

"Perry!" Ferb said.

"Phineas!" Isabella cried.

"Ferb! Isabella!" Phineas began, "You won't believe what we did

today!"

"Let me guess..." Isabella replied, "You and Perry fought a mad

scientist and turned him into toilet paper."

Phineas frowned. "Yeah, we did. How'd you know?"

"Ferb built this incredible sensor that could pick up anything that

was happening for a hundred miles! We watched you and Perry fighting

Doofenshmirtz like we were watching a movie! It was awesome!"

"Cool!" Phineas exclaimed, "Where's it at? I want to see it!"

"Actually, remember that shot from the Toilet Paperawhatever gun that

you and Perry ducked under?"

Phineas thought a moment. "Oh yeah! I remember."

"The laser fired all the way across the city and into the backyard and

hit it! Look over there!"

Phineas looked at the center of the yard and beheld a giant roll of

toilet paper standing proudly in front of the laptop.

"Oh..." he replied, "that's too bad. I really wanted to see it."

"Everything we saw is recorded on the laptop and a bunch of other

hidden computers. We can show it to you if you'd like," Ferb said.

"Cool!" Phineas exclaimed again, "Let's take a look!"

The three of them ran over to the laptop. Phineas was delighted by

the cinema-quality replay of the fight with Doofenshmirtz. He even jumped at

a couple of the close calls. When he saw the part with him and Perry ducking

the laser, something clicked in his head.

"Hey... wait a minute... this is what happens to our stuff every day,

isn't it! It all makes sense now! Dr. Doofenshmirtz has inadvertently been

cleaning up all our inventions with his ray guns! If we get him to take a day

off, Candace might finally be able to bust us! Ferb, we have to tell her!

Let's go!"

Sadly, Phineas, Ferb and Isabella would never get to share their

incredible discovery with Candace. While they had been watching the fight with

Doofenshmirtz, Perry had called Major Monogram and Carl and informed them that

his cover had been blown. Major Monogram and Carl had gotten to Phineas and

Ferb's house as quickly as possible. They'd brought three red-and-white

helmets with them, one of which they had given to Perry. After that they had

snuck up behind the enraptured kids. Just as they stood up to go and tell

Candace, Major Monogram, Carl, and Perry all slammed their respective helmets

down onto one of the kid's heads. Carl then pushed a button on a small controller

and activated the helmets.

Five seconds later, Phineas's, Ferb's and Isabella's memories had all

been wiped. They all collapsed to the ground in a daze. Carl threw down a

small machine that sent out a scrambling signal that fried the computers that

Ferb had stored his sensor information on. The three then quickly gathered up

the helmets and scrambler. Major Monogram and Carl ran back to their van and

sped off. Perry hid his hat and got down on all fours. His cover was

un-blown.

The kids groaned and sat up slowly.

"What happened?" Phineas asked blearily.

"Where am I? I don't remember coming over here," said Isabella.

"I feel like I just had my memory wiped," Ferb moaned.

"Man, Ferb, I want to do something today, but I feel kind of sick,"

Phineas said.

"Tell me about it," Isabella whined.

"We could just flop down on the grass today," Ferb said.

Phineas slammed himself back onto the grass. "Way ahead of you, Ferb,"

he said lamely.

"I'm down," Isabella added. She laid back down.

Ferb didn't say anything, but he followed suit. Phineas looked over

at his pet platypus.

"Oh, there you are Perry," he said dazedly.

Perry growled.

Candace was having a weird dream. She was back in kindergarten, a

tiny little five-year-old. She was trying to draw a picture of herself, but

everytime she put her crayon to the paper, it slipped and somehow wrote the

contraction, "Bust 'em!" She tried over and over, trying to draw a cheesy

self-portrait, but she just couldn't do it, the crayon wouldn't cooperate.

She finally screamed in frustration.

A figure in a black robe walked up to her. "What's the matter?" it

asked her.

"I want to color myself," Candace replied, "but I can't do it! The

crayon won't let me!"

The figure stood silent for a moment. "You can do it," it said, "but

first you have to know what you look like."

"I know what I look like!" Candace shouted.

"No you don't," it retorted.

"Yes I do!"

"No you don't."

Candace was about to shout back, but then she stopped. "Wait..." she

began, "is this some kind of weird metaphorical thing that I'm not getting?"

"You want to find the truth about your brothers and their inventions,"

the figure began, Candace noticed it had a very familiar voice, "but as you

discover that, you will find the most important truth. The truth that lies

within."

"Sounds like a cliché movie plot," Candace replied, "do I know you

from somewhere? You sound awfully familiar."

The figure shook its head back and its hood fell from its head.

Candace gasped. The figure was her! But she looked way different. Her face

was scarred, dirty and worn. She couldn't detect even a hint of makeup

anywhere. Her hair was much longer and very wild and unkempt. Her lips

showed a very calm expression.

But what really bugged Candace was looking at the robed Candace's

eyes. They didn't look like the sparkling, excited eyes she saw when she

looked in the mirror. These eyes were the same color and all, but they were

deep and dark and sorrowful. They looked like they came from an old warrior

who'd see far more battles than he'd ever wanted to. In spite of their

gravity, however, they betrayed a sense of warmth and caring, maybe with just

a hint of laughter hidden behind it all.

"Wh-who are you?" Candace squeaked.

"I'm you, Candace," it replied simply.

"Wha-what happened to you-uh-me?"

The robed Candace sighed. "A lot, Candace. A lot of terrible,

terrible things."

"Tell me this is a dream," Candace said desperately, "please tell me

this is a dream!"

"It's a dream, but it's pretty much rooted in reality."

"Oh, so all I have to do is-wait, it's rooted in reality?"

"Yes."

"Oh, no! What do I do? How do I stop all the-"

"You don't want to stop them."

"What? Why not?"

Robe Candace smiled. "Some good things happen too." she replied.

"I think I'm all right, I just don't want the bad things to happen!"

"Find the truth, Candace. Then, and only then will you be able to

draw this picture." With that, robe Candace vanished in a puff of smoke.

Candace's eyes fluttered open. "Wha?" she groaned. She sat up and

looked slowly around the room. Robe Candace was gone, and she was a teenager

again.

"Wow, what a horrible nightmare," Candace said, "I probably got it

from stressing out so much. I need to relax." She laid back down, then sat

back up.

"But NOT here," she said emphatically. Her room suddenly gave her the

creeps. She stood up and walked out of the room (the door was still open).

She clomped down the stairs and through the living room, heading for the

backyard. She noticed a fat old lady sitting on the couch.

"Hey, who're you?" she asked.

The lady perked up, "Oh, hi! You must be Candace! Your mother asked

me to sit for her today so you could take the day off and relax!"

Candace's jaw dropped. Mom had replaced her! With an old lady!

Candace shut her mouth and walked sadly out of the room, lips trembling. She

felt like crying again. She dragged her feet to the sliding glass back door

and opened it. Phineas, Ferb and Isabella were sprawled out on the grass.

Perry was snoozing next to them. The toilet paper was still in the middle of

the yard.

Candace walked dejectedly over to the giant roll of two-ply. "What's

with the toilet paper?" she asked.

"Dunno," Phineas replied.

"We didn't put it there," Isabella said.

"What do you mean you didn't put it there? Of course you put it

there! Who ELSE would've put it there?" Candace retorted.

"I dunno, but it wasn't us," Phineas replied.

Candace stood glumly for a moment. A thought played across her mind.

"Hey, did you ever find out where all your stuff is going?" Pathetic or not,

she still wanted to know.

"No. Why do you ask?" Phineas responded.

"You said that you were going to find out where your creations were

going so I could bust you."

"When did I say that?" he asked. The memory wipers hadn't been

designed to delete specific memories. They'd simply obliterated everything

from that morning.

"This morning, up in my room, remember? I was all freaked out and

crying and Ferb smashed a bowl of cereal in my face?"

Phineas thought a bit. "Nope, doesn't ring a bell."

"I can't believe you don't remember that! Am I really that

unimportant to you?"

"It's not that I don't think you're important, Candace, I just can't

remember ANYTHING from this morning. I don't remember getting up or eating

breakfast or even coming outside. To tell you the truth, I don't even know

how I got here!"

"Neither do I!" Isabella added.

"The memory of this morning seems to have been blasted from all three

of our memories," Ferb concluded.

"You're lying," Candace said, "I heard you hammering out here

earlier!"

"If we were hammering out here, I don't remember it," Phineas replied.

"You remember everything," Candace spat acidly, "your just lying so I

won't bust you or to play a practical joke on me or-"

"Candace, have we EVER lied to you? Even once?" Phineas challenged.

Candace was about to snap back, but she stopped. He was right, if he

was lying to her, it was the first time he ever had.

"You... really can't remember ANYTHING from this morning?" Candace

asked.

"The only thing I can remember is this annoying jingle. It's been

stuck in my head since I laid down on the grass."

"How's it go?"

"Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated!" Phineas sang musically.

"What?"

"Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated!" That stupid jingle was impossible

to forget, even though his memory had been wiped.

"Okay..." Candace replied uncertainly, "what's that?"

"I... have no idea," Phineas responded.

"So then... watchya' doin'?" Candace asked.

"I'm getting that copyrighted I swear," Isabella griped.

"We're laying around," Phineas said.

"Why?" Candace replied.

"Whenever we sit up, we feel all nauseous," Phineas answered, "This is

way boring, but we're not feeling good enough to do anything else."

"Bummer," Candace said bluntly, "you must've created something that

blew up and scrambled your brains which then got turned into toilet paper."

"I guess," Phineas agreed.

"That's about as good an explanation as any," Isabella groaned.

Candace stood there for a moment. "Care if I join you?" she finally

asked.

"Sure, no problem," Phineas replied.

Candace lay down on the grass next to him. The four stared into the

sky, watching the clouds drift.

"Gee, Candace, you usually don't want to play with us. What's wrong?"

Phineas asked.

"Well, I've just been thinking... what would happen if I ever busted

you?"

Phineas thought a bit. "I guess Mom might freak out, depending on

what it is..."

"No, no, assume that I bust you and that she freaks out and puts a

stop to it all."

"Oh... well, that would probably ruin our Summer..."

"And what would I do?"

"Ummm... I guess you would do what you normally do, like going to the

mall with Stacy or... or... going to the mall with Stacy... or... Candace,

what DO you do when you're not trying to bust us? It seems like, unless

Jeremy asks you on a date or someone happens to throw a party, you'd be

totally bored!"

"Exactly. EXACTLY!" Candace shouted, "Who is Candace without

Phineas and Ferb?"

"Oh... gosh, I've never thought about that!" Phineas exclaimed.

"What WOULD you do if you ever busted them?" Isabella asked.

"I don't know! The thought is terrifying! If Phineas and Ferb ever

get caught... then... I..." Candace couldn't finish. Tears were welling up in

her eyes.

"Don't talk like that!" Phineas snapped, "You'd find lots of things to

do! You're the smartest, coolest, most fun older sister I've ever had!"

"I'm the only sister you've ever had," Candace replied, but she smiled

a bit at the compliment.

Phineas reached over and patted her on the head. "Cheer up! This

Summer wouldn't be complete without Candace Flynn!"

Candace glowed. A tear rolled down her cheek. "Thanks Phineas," she

said, "what would I ever do without you?"

Everyone froze. That was the wrong thing to say.

"WAAAAAA!" Candace wailed.

"Candace, it's all right!" Isabella coaxed.

"Yeah, we're not going anywhere!" Phineas added.

Candace reached over and pulled Phineas and Ferb into a big bear hug.

"I know..." she replied, "just promise that you'll never let me bust you!"

"Scouts honor!" Phineas cried.

"Thank you, you're the best brothers a stupid teenage girl could ever

have!" Candace sobbed.

"Do girls normally get this emotional?" Phineas asked Isabella.

"Yeah. Don't worry, she should be back to normal in a few days."

"At least she's more loving now." Ferb gasped. Candace still had them

in a crushing hug.

She finally let them go and they all resumed laying around doing

nothing. After a few minutes, Candace's mind floated back to the nightmare

she'd had earlier. She thought about the robed figure... then she got up.

"Bored?" Phineas asked.

Candace didn't answer. She walked over to the hose and sprayed

herself in the head with it. Then she went and rolled herself in a dirt

patch.

"Candace, what the-?" Phineas said.

Candace then walked over to Perry, picked him up and started drying

her head off with him like a towel. She got drier, but Perry freaked out and

started thrashing madly, scratching Candace up a bit. He finally broke free,

turned and growled angrily at her, then walked over to a rock and laid back

down.

By now Candace was wet, dirty and scraped all over. Her hair hung

straight down and was all wild and loose, blowing around in the wind.

Phineas, Ferb and Isabella stared at her like she was an idiot.

"New look, what do you think?" Candace asked.

There was an awkward silence.

"Well, it does have a certain rugged appeal," Ferb finally said.

"I kind of like it, it's all wild and crazy," Isabella added.

"Yeah, it's fun, like one of our creations!" Phineas said.

"Wait'll Jeremy gets a load of this!" Candace said, "'Oh, hi Jeremy,

do you like my new style?' 'That's a style? I thought you got in a fight

with a cat or something.' 'Nope, I had a horrible nightmare with an evil

witch in it that looked just like this! ... She was pretty ugly, and I wanted

to be too, so I rolled in dirt and fought a platypus-'"

"Sure looks like it."

Candace stood bolt upright. The real Jeremy had just walked into the

yard.

Jeremy was a way cool and way nice guy that also happened to be

Candace's boyfriend.

"What've you been doing?" he asked, grinning.

"This is my new wild girl look! What do you think?"

"It looks very ratty," he laughed.

"Why thank you," Candace replied, "hey, since you're here, you can be

the wild MAN!"

"Huh?"

Candace ripped a chunk of mud and platypus feathers off her shirt and

flung it at him. It splattered on his pants.

"Yuck! Candace what're you- uh, oh." She'd gone over to the hose and

picked up two fistfuls of mud. She let out a crazy war shriek and charged at

him, mud raised. Jeremy ran for his life as Candace chased him around the

yard. He dived for the hose and turned it on just as Candace pelted a glop of

mud into his face. Jeremy cranked the hose up to full blast and sprayed

Candace with it. She giggled madly and ran, bolting up the tree and breaking

off a branch that she threw at him. She missed, but he sprayed the branch

she was on and caused her to slip out of the tree. She fell right on top of

him and they went tumbling into the sloppy muddy glop. By this time both of

them were laughing hysterically and flinging mud and water and whatever else

at each other.

Phineas, Ferb and Isabella watched them quietly, unsure of what to

make of the disgusting spectacle. Isabella wondered if Phineas would like her

if SHE threw mud in his face (she had a crush on him). She'd have to try it

later.

"What on earth are you two doing?"

Candace and Jeremy looked up from their splatterfest to see Candace's

mom. She was giving them a peculiar look.

"Candace was just getting in touch with her inner ten-year-old!"

Phineas piped.

"Yeah, something like that," Candace grinned sheepishly.

"Oh, this is so adorable," Mom said, "let me get the camera this is

precious," she went inside after it.

Candace's playfulness was quickly turning to embarrassment. "Uhh...

sorry Jeremy, you should probably run before Mom gets back and forever

eternalizes your muddy glory."

Jeremy responded by grabbing her arm and yanking her back into the

mud. The fight resumed with increased fury, and Mom got an excellent shot of

the glooparama. In spite of the how it began, Candace actually ended up

having a great day, maybe the best one she'd had all Summer.


	2. Chapter 2: Bad Night, Worse Day

Chapter 2: A Really Bad Night Followed by an Even Worse Day

Life returned to normal after that. The next day Phineas and Ferb

built something incredible, Candace tried to bust them for it, and failed.

The cycle started again, and Candace forgot about the dream she had and why

she'd been so upset. Nothing unusual happened until July twenty-fifth. It

was hot that day. Phineas and Ferb built a log flume in the backyard to cool

off. Unfourtunately, they had been too hot to sleep that morning so they'd

gotten up at three AM to do it. They didn't realize that it was hot because

of their creation the day before which had used the house's vents. They had

closed all the vents except the one to Candace's room to do what they needed

to. They forgot to open the vents back up when they were done, which meant

all the air conditioning in the house went to her room, and to top it off, Dad

had also turned the temperature down as far as the thermostat would go to try

and defeat the oppressive heat. Needless to say, he was unsuccessful, except

for Candace's room.

When Candace went to her room to go to bed, she was cold. Very cold.

She put on her long pajamas and wrapped herself up in as many blankets as she

could find and managed to doze off, though she was still shivering. Well, at

three AM, she started to hear hammering and construction noises in her dreams.

The noise combined with the bitter cold gave her frantic and confusing

nightmares. Have you ever had a dream that was so exhausting that when you

woke up you were actually drained instead of rested? That's what Candace was

getting. Unfortunately, she didn't wake up.

As luck would have it, in the middle of the night, Mom, driven by the

noise and the crushing heat, began sleep walking. In her dream she was

walking to the thermostat to turn it down. In reality, she walked to the

thermostat and turned it UP. All the way up. Then she staggered back to bed.

It didn't affect most of the house, only Candace's room. Candace

was still wrapped in all those blankets. The temperature in her room quickly

rose to dangerous levels, and the hammering was still audible. Candace's

dreams got worse and worse, until finally she snapped awake.

It was still dark. The first thing that Candace noticed was how hot

she was. She was literally dripping with sweat. She quickly struggled out of

the blankets, gasping for air. She felt like she was suffocating. She felt

like she was about to throw up. The whole room seemed like it was on fire.

Candace stumbled to the door and ran into it. She shook herself then opened

the door and staggered out.

"Mom..." she garbled, "Mommm... Mooomm!" the room was spinning.

Candace thought she was gonna be sick. "MOM!" she screamed desperately. It

was no use. Candace ran for the bathroom and tripped. She fell on her face

and blew chunks all over the rug. She lifted herself out of the vomit and

stumbled to the bathroom groaning in agony. The poor sleep and heat

exhaustion had taken quite a toll on her body. When she got to the bathroom,

she got in the shower with all her clothes on and turned on the cold water.

The shower sprayed her with an icy stream, finally giving her some relief. Her

head cleared a little and she cooled off a bit. She turned the shower off and

got out. She heard a distant hammering sound and began bumbling toward it.

In her lousy condition Candace didn't think to dry off and forgot about the

mess she'd left on the floor. She left a trail of soaked carpet and tile from

the bathroom all the way to the backyard.

She finally opened to the sliding glass door and discovered Phineas

and Ferb and their log flume.

"Phineas... Ferb... wha?" was all she could get out.

They didn't notice her. They were focused on their log flume.

"Ohh...it's nice out here," Candace groaned. Then she collapsed.

"AAAAAHHHHHH!"

That was the first thing Candace heard.

"Phineas! Ferb! What are you doing? You could get yourselves killed

on that thing! Get down, come inside! You two are grounded until further

notice! Get in here!"

Candace moaned and sat up, opening her eyes as she did. A massive

log flume, complete with a one hundred story drop, scuba pool and corkscrews

stood in the yard. Candace suddenly realized she was outside and jumped to

her feet. She looked around, wild-eyed.

"Huh? How did I get out here?"

As her eyes focused, she saw Phineas and Ferb walking across the lawn

toward her. As they went by, Ferb gave her a dirty look and said, "Thanks for

ruining our Summer."

"Huh?" Candace blubbed.

Phineas stopped and looked her in the eyes. He gave Candace the

coldest look she'd ever seen him give anyone. "I thought you were a cool big

sister," he began, then he looked at the ground, "I guess you're not. Thanks

for letting me down, Candace."

"Leave your sister alone, Phineas, go to your room!"

Candace started and spun around. Mom was standing right behind her.

"Mom, what the-?" Candace yelped.

"Candace, I am so sorry. You were right, Phineas and Ferb have been

up to crazy and dangerous stuff all Summer. I should have believed you. Can

you ever forgive me?"

"What? Mom, what is going on?" Candace asked frantically, "How did I

get out here? Why am I all wet?"

"I don't know, why are you all wet?"

"I-I-I-don't-remember," Candace blurted.

Mom gasped, "Oh, Honey, were you sleepwalking? Oh my gosh, Phineas

and Ferb must have you so stressed out. Are you the one that threw up on the

carpet?" Mom pulled her into a hug, "Oh my little girl, I'm so sorry for

everything. Hush, it's all over now. You don't have to worry about Phineas

and Ferb anymore. They're gonna be grounded for the rest of the Summer."

"You're grounding Phineas and Ferb? Why?"

"For all the dangerous things they've been doing."

"But, you don't know about all that, everything always disappears-"

"Turn around, Candace."

Candace broke out of her mom's embrace and did an about face. She got

a good look at the log flume and finally put two and two together.

"Wait a minute... you caught them, didn't you!" Candace exclaimed.

"Mm hmm," Mom replied.

Candace stood, awestruck, unable to comprehend what had just happened.

The implications slowly came to her. She'd won! Not intentionally, but she'd

won! That meant she didn't have to worry about busting Phineas and Ferb

anymore. She could finally get on with her normal life...

But busting Phineas and Ferb WAS her normal life. Suddenly, the

questions that had haunted her a few weeks earlier began pouring back into her

mind. She would have freaked out, if another thought, mercifully, hadn't come

to her first.

"Hey, I never got to bust them!" Candace shouted angrily. If anyone

had caught Phineas and Ferb, it should have been her. After months of Candace

calling Mom and having her come home only to find that Phineas and Ferb's

inventions had disappeared, Mom had simply walked in on them by herself and

caught them without Candace's help.

Mom chuckled, "Yeah, I thought that was pretty ironic, actually.

Thanks for trying so hard Candace. From now on, I trust you." With that, Mom

gave Candace a kiss and went back inside.

Candace stood there. She had no purpose now. No reason to exist.

She didn't know what to do next.

She decided to take a walk. She went through the gate and started

walking down the road. She was so shocked that she didn't notice that she was

still in her (foul-smelling) pajamas and that she was bare foot. She marched

straight down the road, staring dazedly into space for miles.

Perry was flying over the city on a glider, heading for

Doofenshmirtz's hideout. Doofenshmirtz had sent a message to him, telling him

that he had a surprise for him. Perry figured it probably wasn't anything

good, but he needed to check it out anyway.

He smashed through Doofenshmirtz's ceiling and landed, rolling to

break his fall. He stood up and looked around. It was dark. Perry waddled

around the room, looking for his archenemy. He didn't find him.

This was strange... no trap, no mad scientist, no -inator guns...

something was wrong. Perry was about to give up and leave when he came across

a note on a table. No voice recording, nothing weird, just a note.

He picked it up and read it. It said:

Perry the Platypus,

I'll have your surprise soon. Just sit down and make yourself

comfortable.

Signed,

Dr. Heinz Doofenshmirtz

Perry scratched his head, shrugged, then went and found himself a

seat. He sat there for nearly an hour, wondering what his surprise would be.

Phineas and Ferb sat on their beds, in their rooms, with the door

shut, on a perfect Summer day. Their Summer was over. Candace had ruined it

by telling Mom and finally busting them, or at least, that's what they thought

had happened.

Ferb was mad, but Phineas was devastated. Losing his Summer was bad

enough, but the fact that Candace had been the one that ended it killed him.

Candace was his big sister. He loved her. He looked up to her. He would've

done anything for her. She'd always been a friend he could count on (whether

his view of her had a base in reality was irrelevant, that's what he thought

of her), until today. Now he saw his formerly beloved sister for what she

really was-a selfish, boring, uncaring and unloving jerk. He didn't know why

he hadn't seen it coming. She was calling Mom, trying to bust them all

Summer. Why hadn't he realized what Mom would do if she ever saw them? Or

that that had been exactly what Candace wanted? Phineas sighed. He never

thought he'd be looking forward to school starting. Only about a month

left...

Turned out that he would be out of the house much sooner than that. A

tremor rumbled through the ground.

"What was that?" Phineas asked.

"I have come to kidnap the Flynn family!" a strangely cheery, robotic

voice said.

Phineas and Ferb looked around, confused. They didn't see anyone.

SMASH! A huge robotic fist swept through the wall and partially

ripped the roof off the house. Phineas and Ferb leapt to their feet and ran

for the door as dust and splinters and glass and all sorts of debris blasted

through the room. The robotic fist unclenched and swept down at Phineas and

Ferb. Just before they could open the door, it snatched them up and squeezed

them in it.

"AHHH!" Phineas and Ferb cried together, "Mom, Dad, HELP!"

Mom burst through the door first, followed by their father.

"Phineas! Ferb! What-oh my stars!" Mom exclaimed.

The dust cleared to reveal a giant robot that looked like a dorky man

in a business suit.

"My name is Norm!" it informed them happily, "I have come to eat your

children!"

"Put my sons down!" Dad yelled angrily.

Norm's mouth plate lowered and he stuck the screaming Phineas and Ferb

down his gullet.

"Yum! That was tasty!" Norm said cheerily.

"Phineas! Ferb! SPIT THEM OUT! SPIT THEM OUT!" Mom screamed

frantically. She charged at the robot, intending to do what, it didn't matter

because Norm just reached down, scooped her up and ate her too.

Dad finally got the good sense to run, but it was too late. The

robot reached out, grabbed him and ate him as well.

"What a delightful snack!" Norm said, "There is supposed to be one

more! Where is Candace Flynn?"

Phineas, Ferb, Mom and Dad had been eaten, but they weren't being

digested. When Norm had snarfed them down, they'd simply fallen into a metal

holding cell, the robot's "stomach".

"CANDACE, RUN!" Mom screeched. Nobody knew that she'd left earlier.

Candace had picked a very good day to take a walk.

Norm proceed to smash the entire house to bits, looking for his last

victim. He kicked the walls in and tore the rest of the roof off and dug into

the basement and completely destroyed the Flynn's home, but he could not find

Candace.

"I guess she's not here!" Norm said, "Oh well, these four hostages are

more than enough!" Norm turned and began walking down the street, back for

his master's lair.

Down in the monster's stomach, the Flynn-Fletchers (minus Candace)

were all trying to figure out what on earth was going on.

"Phineas, Ferb, this robot isn't something you made, is it?" Mom

asked incredulously.

"No, but we saw it once. It took a CD Candace was trying to use to

bust us," Phineas said glumly.

"We chased it to the bridge, and it fell off into the river," Ferb

added.

"Where's it taking us?" Dad wondered.

"He said something about hostages," Mom observed.

"Maybe he's going to use us to blackmail somebody into doing

something for him," Phineas guessed.

"I guess," Dad replied, "I wonder what happened to Candace?"

"I couldn't care less," Phineas said flatly.

Perry looked at his watch. Doofenshmirtz was taking forever.

Suddenly (and finally), he saw something come up a big elevator in the

room. When the doors opened, Norm, Doofenshmirtz's giant robot strode out.

"Perry the Platypus-" Norm began. Then his head popped up to reveal

the pilot, Dr. Doofenshmirtz.

"-how nice of you to wait!" Doofenshmirtz finished, "Are you ready for

my surprise, Perry the Platypus?"

Perry stared at Doofenshmirtz boredly.

"Give him his surprise, Norm!" Doofenshmirtz ordered. Perry tensed,

expecting an attack. What he got instead surprised him much more than he had

planned on being. In fact, it shocked him pretty bad. In fact, forget

surprised and shocked. This was WAY beyond surprise and shock.

Try pure horror instead.

Norm put his head back, then walked over to a large glass box with

some kind of massive metal screen that covered the entire floor. Norm

put his mouth plate to a hole in the box's wall. It lowered again and started

upchucking it's cargo.

First Mom came, then Ferb, then Dad, and finally Phineas.

Perry's bill dropped. His eyes bugged wide open. His arms and tail

dropped slack. No! How had he-?

"Behold! Your family! In the disintegratinator box!" Doofenshmirtz

let out a mad cackle as he pulled out a controller with a big red button, "At

the touch of a button, I can disintegratinate all of them!"

Perry leapt at Doofenshmirtz, trying to yank the controller away.

Doofenshmirtz sidestepped him and put his finger on the button. "I wouldn't

try that again, Perry the Platypus, unless you want them all

disintegratinated!

Perry stood up. He didn't know what to do. One wrong move and his

family was toast.

"You see, Perry the Platypus, your owner told me his name when he was

here, and I finally tracked it to your house! I have the upper hand now. I

command you to join me as my obedient slave! If you don't, well... heh heh

heh heh..." Doofenshmirtz cackled, waving the controller.

Perry glared hatefully at Doofenshmirtz for a while. He'd gone too

far. This was out of order. Finally, Perry sighed and looked at the floor.

Doofenshmirtz had won.

Candace had picked a VERY good day to take a walk. She wandered

aimlessly through the streets, staring into space. Candace was dead. There

was no one to bust, and consequently there was no longer a Candace. Candace

eventually wound up at a park. She went and sat under a tree and stared

blankly for a long time.

"So... Candace..." she asked herself, "what are you going to do

today?"

She was silent for a while. She really didn't know. She could call

Stacy and go to the mall or something... except she hadn't brought her cell

phone... and Stacy (she was Candace's best friend) was in Japan. Candace

growled in frustration.

Maybe it wasn't all that bad... yes, she couldn't bust Phineas and

Ferb anymore, but she could still go to the mall with Stacy... sometimes, not

every day though... when she got back... and she could hang out with Jeremy

too... sometimes, not all the time though. Basically, Candace now had a whole

lot of free time on her hands.

And she had no idea what to do with it.

"Wow... my dream finally came true... and you know what? I really

hate it," Candace griped to herself.

"Busting those two was what I lived for. They were always out having

fun building all their wild creations. MY fun was trying to bust them. Now

their Summer's ruined, and so is mine. Now I have nothing to do. I AM

nothing now. I might as well change my name, 'cause Candace is gone. Kaput.

Dead. Finished. Whatever," she said.

Candace sighed. "I think Phineas and Ferb hate me now, too. Not that

it matters..." she wasn't sure she believed that, "ugh... I do feel kind of

bad. I didn't actually bust them, but they're just as miserable as I am right

now. What'll happen to them? Will they just never do anything crazy again

as long as they live? I'll kind of miss seeing delivery trucks rolling into

the driveway and hearing jackhammers and watching them playing and being

stupid and..." Candace stopped. She didn't want to go on. Bottom line, all

of Phineas and Ferb's dreams, along with a glorious vision to seize every day

and have fun had been crushed. It was like a bright and beautiful light had

gone out. The world would never be the same without Phineas and Ferb and

their wild imaginations.

Candace just lay there with her eyes closed, silently mourning her's,

Phineas and Ferb's losses. After a while she started talking to herself

again.

"If only I could reverse what happened... if only I could somehow

still try to bust them... if only there was some way for me to continue their

dream so..."

Candace's eyes popped open. She sat up. "That's it!" she exclaimed,

"I know what I'm gonna do today!"

Back at Doofenshmirtz's lair, Perry was doing all kinds of random

stuff for Doofenshmirtz. He was serving him lemonade, helping him build

another -inator he was making, eating gum from under the desks (that was

gross) and other assorted tasks. Perry was mad. He wished he could just kick

the "vaporize" button out of his enemy's hands and save his family. He would

have tried it, but he knew that if he missed they were done for.

"Perry the Platypus, would you kindly hand me that wrench, I need to

screw in this bolt... actually, I'll just have you screw it in while I sit

here and sip lemonade!" Doofenshmirtz cackled from his easy chair, "AHAHAAHA!

I love being evil! Tell me Perry the Platypus, how does it feel to be my

personal slave? How do you like losing? Guess what? This is how I felt

every time you beat me! Now the shoe's on the other foot! AHAHA!"

Perry growled. Doofenshmirtz had to go to sleep sometime, and when he

did...

Meanwhile the bored and confused Flynn family sat in the

disintegratinization chamber, wondering what the trash was going on.

"That pharmacist looks just like that one from the Perry level in that

video game we played when we were sick!" Phineas observed.

"He's Vanessa's dad," Ferb remarked. Vanessa was Doofenshmirtz's

teenage daughter. Ferb had met her earlier that Summer.

"It seems like I've seen him somewhere else too," Phineas said.

"It seems like he's somehow related to that toilet paper roll in the

backyard all those weeks ago," Ferb said.

"Hmm... maybe that morning me and Perry came here and fought him while

you and Isabella watched using a giant, super-powerful sensor, and I turned

him into toilet paper to save Perry! Then Perry used a memory wipe on us so

we wouldn't remember anything!" Phineas said.

He and Ferb looked at each other.

"Nah," Phineas said.

"I wonder how Perry knows this man?" Dad wondered.

"I wonder if there's a way out of here," Mom replied.

They looked around. Nothing seemed apparent.

"Maybe Candace will come and save us," Dad said hopefully.

The other three looked at him like he was an idiot.

"Not likely, honey," Mom said flatly.

"Candace doesn't have the guts," Phineas griped bitterly.

"Or the skills, for that matter," Ferb added.

"Well... maybe the police will find us then," Dad tried.

Everyone agreed that that was much more likely.

Well... they were wrong. Except Dad. The first thing he said, I

mean. Candace ran back in what she figured was the general direction of the

house. It didn't take long for her to notice a black plume of smoke rising

from the neighborhood.

"Is there a fire?" Candace exclaimed, "I've got to get home and call

the fire department!" She picked up the pace, running hard. Imagine her

surprise... well... surprise doesn't cut it. No, this wasn't surprise. This

is commonly called, horror. Terror. Shock. A lot of other words. Imagine

her terrified astonishment when she found out the smoke was rising from HER

house.

Police and firefighters surrounded the burning ruin. Neighbors and

pedestrians and motorists were all stopped behind them to see the action.

"Is that our house?" Candace cried, "Oh, no!" She sprinted

down the street, burst through the crowd, past the police, through the police

tape and into what used to be the living room.

Police dashed after Candace. "Hey, kid, this is a restricted area!

You can't come in here!"

"This is my house!" Candace screamed, "What happened!? Mom! Dad!

Phineas! Ferb! Where are you? MOM!"

The officers grabbed Candace and yanked her back as a burning chunk of

wood fell from the ceiling, narrowly missing her.

"Let go! I have to find-!" Candace shouted, struggling.

"Kid, this house is on fire! You can't be here you'll get killed!" an

officer yelled.

"No one's in there, if that's what you're worried about!" another

added.

"Mom and Dad and Phineas and Ferb aren't here?" Candace asked wildly.

"I don't know where they are, but no one's in this house, I can tell

you that!" the officer said.

They pulled Candace back behind the security line and asked her some

questions, then they released her and told her not to leave. As the officers

left, someone came up behind her.

"Candace! How'd you get away from the robot?"

Candace whirled around and saw Isabella.

"Isabella!" Candace exclaimed, "Where are Phineas and Ferb and Mom and

Dad? And what happened to my house?"

"A giant robot in a suit came up and destroyed the house! And he

kidnapped Phineas and Ferb and your mom and dad! I saw it all from my window!

I thought he got you too, but I guess..."

"I was at the park!" Candace grabbed Isabella's shoulders, "Isabella,

which direction did the robot go?"

"That way!" Isabella pointed down the street.

"We've got to find that robot! If you have any tracking skills from

your Forest Fire Girls..."

"FireSIDE Girls!" Isabella corrected angrily.

"Whatever, now's the time to use them!"

"Hmm..." Isabella walked down the street a little and looked at the

pavement for a moment, "Well... there's a slight indentation in the pavement

that might have come from the robot, but I can barely see it..."

Candace walked up to the invisible footprint, got down on all fours

and sniffed the asphalt.

"Uhh... Candace? What are you-?"

"This came from the robot. I can smell them."

"Smell who?"

"Phineas and Ferb. I know that smell anywhere! They went this way!

C'mon Isabella! Let's find my brothers!" And with that, Candace let out a

howl like a bloodhound and took off down the street.

"Candace! Wait for me!" Isabella yelled, and ran after her.

"So, Perry the Platypus, now that I've got you out of the way, I can

finally carry out my diabolical scheme and rule the entire Tri-State area!"

Doofenshmirtz cackled.

Perry was fuming. He didn't know what it was Doofenshmirtz was making

him build, but he knew it was helping the jerk do something evil.

"You see Perry the Platypus, you are creating a SETI device, which I

will use to contact a powerful alien empire that will send me an army to

conquer the Tri-State area! AHAHAHAHA! I've already detected their

signals coming from a nearby star, and my Alien Translatinator has heard

tale of the other races they've destroyed! They'll be the perfect evil ally!"

Perry was really hoping Doofenshmirtz wasn't actually on to something.

What if he was though? If his plan actually worked, it would be the end of

the world as they knew it, and all the earth would be enslaved by a cruel and

tyrannical alien empire. Then it hit Perry. He could sabotage the device!

All he had to do was misplace something so the contraption wouldn't work! And

he could easily make it look like a mistake so Doofenshmirtz wouldn't vaporize

his family! Brilliant!

"Oh, Perry the Platypus, I think I'll take over now," Doofenshmirtz

said, "I'm sure that now that you know what I am doing you will try to

sabotage the device and make it look like it was an accident so I won't

vaporize you family."

Fudge.

"Go sweep my kitchen or something, go on!" Doofenshmirtz ordered.

An extremely frustrated Perry went over to the kitchen and began

sweeping. He had to beat Doofenshmirtz somehow... but he had to not let his

family get disintegrated either.

"Heh heh heh... in a few short minutes, my invention will be complete,

and I will call forth, my alien army! AHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!" Doofensmirtz

laughed.

"Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated," Isabella read.

"Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated!" a mysterious jingle played.

"That's that jingle Phineas sang the day the toilet paper turned up in

the backyard! Isabella, we're close!" Candace said fiercly. Candace's nose

and Isabella's tracking skills had led them to the foot of Dr. Doofenshmirtz's

office building.

"You think Phineas and Ferb are in there?" Isabella asked.

"I know they're in there! I can feel it!" Candace roared, "They're

high up! C'mon, let's go bust them out of there!"

The two girls burst through the doors and took the elevators to the

story that Candace smelled Phineas and Ferb at. She was off by two, but they

took the stairs back down a couple floors and found Doofenshmirtz's door.

"This is it Isabella, they're behind that door!" Candace exclaimed,

"Hey, this was the last place I delivered those Wildfire Cookies to!"

"Are you sure this is it, Candace? It's kind of hard for me to

believe you can really smell Phineas and..." Isabella began.

"Ready, Isabella?" Candace asked.

"No, I-!"

"One, two, three!"

Candace let out a mighty cry and kicked down the door.

Or, she kicked it at least. Problem was, it didn't break.

WHAM!

"OWWW!" Candace screeched and grabbed her kicking foot while

hopping on the other one.

"Well, if the kidnappers are actually in there, they definitely know

we're here," Isabella said flatly.

"Good heavens, what was that?" a grating voice wondered, "Perry, the

Platypus get the door for me."

Perry opened the door. Candace leapt right over him, not even

realizing he was there and landed in attack position, fists raised and feet

apart.

"All right, where's my mom and dad and brothers?" she screamed at no

one in particular.

"Candace?" all the Flynn-Fletchers cried together.

"Perry?" Isabella exclaimed in surprise.

"The girl that delivered my Fireside cookies?" Doofenshmirtz shouted.

"That's right! Now give me back my family!" Candace roared.

"Hold on, wait, I-I don't even know who you... oh! You're the one

that wasn't at the house! You've come to save your family have you, ehehehe!

HAHAHAHA! We'll you'll never get them from me! Perry the Platypus! Attack!"

"Perry? Is he here too?" Candace asked incredulously.

Perry hesitated. Candace wasn't his favorite family member, but she

still WAS a family member.

"He's right behind you!" Isabella shouted.

"Get her or I'll disintegratinate them!" Doofenshmirtz roared.

Perry sighed. He had no choice.

"Disintegratinate? What does that-?" Candace wondered.

Her reply was a vicious platypus flying kick to the back of her head.

BAM! Candace went down on her face.

"OW! What the-?" she cried.

"Candace, look out!" Isabella yelped.

Candace rolled over just in time to see Perry's fist drive down into

her jaw. Candace recoiled then surprised both herself and Perry by delivering

a reflexive head butt into Perry's face, sending him sprawling onto the floor.

"Isabella! Get us out of here!" Phineas cried.

"I'm coming!" Isabella charged off toward the disintegratinator box

the Flynn-Fletchers were being held in.

"Not so fast, little girl!" Doofenshmirtz yelled, "Norm! Stop her!"

A massive object leapt out of the shadows and slammed down in front of

Isabella.

"Ahh! The giant robot!" she exclaimed.

"My name is Norm! I'm here to squash you like an insect!" Norm said

cheerfully.

"Isabella, watch out!" Phineas shouted.

Norm brought his huge robotic fist down at Isabella. She screamed and

dived to the side.

Over on the other side of the room, Perry grabbed Candace as she ran

at him, whirling her around and flinging her into one of Doofenshmirtz's

inventions, pushing it's button and firing it at a random object. The random

object turned into a roll of toilet paper.

Candace stared in slack-jawed awe at the roll of two-ply. Something

clicked inside her brain.

"It all makes sense now! The toilet paper roll and the inventions

disappearing and all of that! It's coming from here! This is what's been

stopping me from busting Phineas and Ferb all this time! I've found it! I

finally know what's been happening! I UNDERSTAND! I UNDERSTAND!" she

shouted with something like extraordinary joy.

Her joy didn't last long. Perry jumped and decked her with his fist.

"Candace, this is no time to be thinking about busting the boys! Run,

Candace, run!" Mom cried in agony.

"Don't run Candace, save us!" Dad shouted.

"Lawrence! Your daughter is getting pulverized and all you can think

about is yourself?" Mom asked angrily.

"Well, you and the boys are in here too, aren't you?" he replied.

Phineas and Ferb weren't really watching Candace. Both of them were

still mad at her. They were much more interested in (and had a lot more faith

in) Isabella.

"Leave Isabella alone!" Phineas yelled at Norm.

"Your pleading can't touch my robot heart!" Norm said gleefully. He

tried to stomp on Isabella, who was weaving around his legs, trying both not

to get killed and also trying to find a way to break the Flynn-Fletchers out

of the box.

"Just hang on, guys! I'll get you-AH!" Isabella yelled. Norm pounded

the ground right next to her, knocking her down.

"Isabella, run! We'll be okay!" Phineas shouted.

Isabella rolled out of the way of another crushing stomp from Norm,

then stood up just in time to avoid a kick from the monstrous robot.

"No, Phineas, I won't leave you!" she cried firmly.

"You have to! That thing will kill you!" Phineas yelled desperately.

Isabella got grazed by the robot's fist, which was pretty much like

getting punched by a regular-sized person.

"Ugh!" she grunted, "Relax, I've got an idea!"

"No, Isabella, run!" Phineas pleaded.

Isabella narrowly dodged another swing from the robot and ran for the

glass box.

Candace wasn't doing well. She had a bad temper, but she had no formal

fighting skills whatsoever. Even Perry's half-hearted fighting was way too

much for her. He slapped her with his pelt and kicked her with his webbed

feet and pecked her with his bill and... he was kicking her trash anyway.

That's not to say Candace wasn't putting up any resistance. She got

in a punch here and there.

It wasn't enough though. Perry finally got her into a nasty multi-hit

combo and sent her smashing through Doofenshmirtz's TV set.

"Hey, that was expensive!" Doofenshmirtz roared angrily.

Candace pulled herself out of the wreckage and crawled a few feet,

groaning in agony. Then she collapsed.

Perry grimaced painfully. He felt terrible. He couldn't do much

about it though. He walked slowly to Candace, looking about as sad as a

Platypus could. He waddled up to her side and touched her head gently. Poor

girl. Stupid Doofenshmirtz. This was his fault. He had to-

Suddenly, Candace reached out and grabbed Perry by his pelt. She

leapt to her feet, spun around and threw him across the room, slamming him

through one of Doofenshmirtz's monitors.

"Ha! Take that, Perry!" Candace shouted triumphantly.

"No! Perry the Platypus!" Doofenshmirtz cried in horror.

The injured Platypus pulled himself out of the screen. He looked like

he'd just gotten hit in the head with a stupidinator. He grinned idiotically

and his eyes wandered about unfocused as he stumbled a few feet and collapsed.

He didn't get up.

Doofenshmirtz ran to Perry's side. "Perry the Platypus you can't give

up now, I need your help!"

Right then something clocked Doofenshmirtz's hand, the one with the

disintegratinate button in it, knocking the deadly trigger harmlessly to the

floor.

"Ow! Hey, what th-OW!" Doofenshmirtz stumbled back a few feet as

Candace laid a cruel punch right into his jaw.

"C'mon, pharmacist! It's just you and me!" Candace yelled angrily.

"Fool! I will now disintegratinate your-uh, oh." Doofenshmirtz

suddenly realized he'd lost his button.

POW! Candace punched Doofenshmirtz in the eye and followed up with a

kick in the shin.

"Ow! Stop! That hurts!" he whined.

Candace kneed him in the gut. Air exploded from his lungs as he fell

on his hind end. Candace stood over him like a terrible wraith.

"End of the line! Let the twerps and my mom and dad go!" Candace

roared, pulling her fist back for another hard slug.

"Isabella, don't try it!" Phineas yelled.

She ignored him. She stood in front of the cage and yelled at the

robot.

"Come and get me!" she challenged.

The robot pulled back its fist.

"Everybody get out of the way!" she shouted.

Norm threw his punch. It went straight for Isabella, who jumped to

the side and avoided it, causing it to hit the cage and shatter the glass into

a thousand pieces instead.

Or at least, that's what was supposed to happen. Unfourtunately, Norm

knew what she was trying to do. As she hopped out of his way, Norm diverted

his punch to go sideways after her instead.

BAM! Isabella took a full swing from the giant robot and went

flying across the room. She crashed hard into a mess pile of machine parts.

"NO!" Phineas shouted.

"Isabella!" Mom cried.

"Oh, no!" Dad exclaimed.

Ferb's jaw dropped.

"You are no match for my iron fist!" Norm said gleefully. He stomped

over to the pile Isabella had landed in.

The courageous Fireside Girl slid off the pile and got to her feet.

She yelped and fell. Along with a billion other injuries, her right leg was

broken. The robot's shadow fell over her as she got shakily on her hands.

She looked up to see Norm looming overhead.

"D-d-d-don't-t-t... h-h-hu-hu-rt... th-th..." she said weakly.

"It was lovely fighting with you today!" Norm cried happily, "What a

shame that you have to go now! Let me show you to the door!" Norm raised his

giant foot over Isabella. She tried to roll but just fell.

"Uh... Phineas... I... lo-lo-" she said, trembling.

"STOP!" Phineas exploded. He was so loud that everyone, even

Norm paused and turned to look at him.

"Don't hurt her, please!" he screamed frantically, "I'll do anything!"

"Anything?" Doofenshmirtz asked.

Everyone looked at the mad doctor, who was now getting to his feet.

"Anything," Phineas affirmed.

"Hmm..." Doofenshmirtz glared at Candace, "this girl is your sister,

isn't she?"

"Unfourtunately," Phineas groaned.

"That wasn't nice!" Mom exclaimed.

Candace was a little taken aback too. "Unfourtunately?" she said with

a little hurt in her voice.

"You'll do anything, huh? Prove it. Clobber this irritating teenage

girl and throw her out of my lair and I'll spare your little friend!"

Doofenshmirtz said, "Norm, pull him out of the cage and bring him here, but

pick up his friend first."

"You've been granted a commutation!" Norm said to Isabella as he

lifted her off the ground. He then walked over and pulled Phineas out of the

glass cage. He carried him over and set him down next to Doofenshmirtz.

"Get her," Doofenshmirtz ordered.

"My pleasure," Phineas growled.

"Phineas... what are-?" Candace began.

Phineas let out a war yell and ran at Candace. He jumped and tackled

her to the ground.

"Ow! Phineas what're you-!" Candace tried.

His response was to slug her in the jaw.

"Ouch! You little twerp! Ow!" Phineas punched her again.

Candace finally got the message and kicked him off. Phineas fell back

but landed on his feet, ready for more.

"Phineas, stop! What's gotten into you?" Mom yelled.

"Don't treat your sister like that!" Dad added.

"You're goin' down, twerp," Candace spat acidly while getting to her

feet.

"So Candace, you finally busted us, huh?" Phineas asked, "Wow, I'll

bet you're really proud of yourself. Tell me, are you glad you ruined our

Summer? Does that make you happy?"

"What does that have to do with anything?" Candace asked.

"EVERYTHING!" Phineas roared. He leapt onto Candace and latched onto

her head. He gave her a good head butt then slid around her and yanked on her

hair.

"OOWW! Phineas! Knock it off!" Candace yelled.

Phineas dropped off her and tackled her legs out from under her,

causing her to crash hard to the floor. The confused Candace started trying

to rise, but her head got smacked down again by a punch from Phineas.

"OW! Stop it!" Candace shouted.

"That's for busting us!" Phineas roared.

Candace tried to grab him, but he jumped aside and kicked the side of

her head.

"That's for our Summer!" he shouted. He slugged her again. "And

that's for fooling me!"

Candace finally flung an arm bar into Phineas's chest and knocked him

back long enough to get on her feet.

"What's your problem Phineas! And when did I fool you?"

Phineas stood up and glared hatefully at her, but then his expression

started to melt into one of sadness.

"You fooled me into thinking you were awesome," he said.

"What? What are you talking about?" she replied.

"You were my big sister. No matter how uncool you were I thought you

were cool just because of that. I looked up to you and thought you were the

greatest. I was stupid. I should have seen it. You were nothing right from

the start. Today you finally showed me who you really were. A shallow,

boring, teenage jerk! You never liked me, and I don't know why I liked you!

Everything we did was just irritating to you, nothing was ever fun or cool!

All you wanted to do was get us in trouble for it and wreck everything. Well

guess what? You did it! Are you happy now? Are you?"

"Well, I-" Candace began uncertainly.

"Go home, Candace! We don't want you here! All you do is annoy Mom

and mess things up for me and Ferb."

"Phineas... I didn't even bust you, Mom walked in on you."

"It doesn't matter, because that's just what you've wanted this whole

time, isn't it?"

Candace opened her mouth, then shut it again.

"Your the worst sister I could've gotten and I don't care if I ever

see you again. Get lost, Candace."

Candace stared at him for a moment, lower lip quivering. She reached

out to try and touch his shoulder.

"Phineas I-"

Phineas slapped her hand away and stuck his fist in her face.

"GET OUT!" he roared.

Tears filled Candace's eyes and she turned around and ran out, crying

like a baby.

Phineas watched her coldly as she slammed the door behind her. He

felt a pang of guilt for hurting Candace, but he brushed it off. She deserved

it. Phineas slowly became aware that everyone in the room was staring at him.

He turned to look at them.

Isabella's confused look seemed to say, "What?" Ferb blinked at him

in astonishment. Mom was in tears. Dad looked like something didn't compute

in his head. Norm was staring at him, though his expression couldn't change.

The half-conscious Perry looked at him in slack-jawed awe. Even Doofenshmirtz

looked shocked by the event.

"W-wow..." he stammered, "that was mean! I kind of feel sorry for

her, and I'm the bad guy!"

"What? You said get rid of her, so I did!" Phineas spat.

"Yeah, but... do you really hate her that much? She did come to save

you!" Doofenshmirtz replied.

"Yes."

"Oh... okay... uh... well then, a deal's a deal! I won't hurt your

friend. She'll just stick with us. Norm, put them back in the chamber, Perry

the Platypus, too!" he ordered.

Norm picked up Phineas and Perry and carried them and Isabella back to

the disintegration chamber. He dumped them in and walked back to the corner

he'd started in.

"It's getting uncomfortable here..." Doofenshmirtz began, "I think the

police may find me soon. Flynn-Fletcher family and little girl! We're going

to go to my secret evil island hideout, where I will be safe to perform my

evil schemes and conquer the Tri-State Area! AHAHAHAHAHA!"

Doofenshmirtz walked over to a control panel and pulled a lever. The

whole room began to shake, and soon the entire thing lifted out of the

building. Rocket boosters sprang from different parts of the room and fired,

sending Doofenshmirtz, Isabella and the Flynn-Fletchers flying out of Danville

and across the ocean toward Doofenshmirtz's lair.

Most of the Flynn-Fletchers, anyway. Down on the ground, the last

lonely member of the family stared into the sky and watched the room fly away.

She watched it until it was out of sight, then broke down again. Candace's

rescue hadn't been thwarted by force, but by a few cruel words from her

once-adoring little brother.

And now she was alone.


	3. Chapter 3: A Brave New World

Chapter 3: A Brave New World

Everything was different now. The truth about everything was out, and

a formerly fun-filled Summer Vacation world had been annihilated by it. In

it's place stood a miserable, angry, and lonely one.

Phineas was even angrier than before he'd yelled at Candace. His mom

had tried to talk to him about the event and he'd responded with, "You're on

my list too! Summer couldn't have been destroyed without your help!" Needless

to say, she shut up. His Dad had risen angrily to his wife's defense and got

himself shouted down as well. Ferb didn't even try. He was angry at Candace

and their mom too, so there really was no point, however, he wasn't nearly as

mad as Phineas seemed to be. He'd probably forgive his mom and Candace

eventually, but Phineas seemed to think the offense was inexcusable, and a

cause for war between them.

That's what he was telling Isabella anyway. The injured girl had been

fixed up a bit, and she was healing. Over the days Phineas had talked mostly

to her. She enjoyed getting so much attention from her favorite crush, but

she was getting more than a little disturbed at what he was telling her. He

went to her to talk about how angry he was at Candace, how she'd messed up

what should've been the greatest Summer of his life (haven't heard that before

have we?) and how glad he was that she'd felt some of his pain. He'd rant on

and on about how much he hated his sister and pretty much broke his

overhearing mom's heart.

But what really scared Isabella was that his circle of hate began to

expand. It first jumped to his mom, the logical next target, she was kind of

more to blame than Candace was, after all, then he was mad at his dad for

defending her. He even began to question why Ferb hadn't gotten out to help

him beat up Candace. Pretty soon, Isabella was the only friend Phineas had in

that little box.

They weren't sure how many days had passed. Phineas was talking with

Isabella again. While everyone else was growing more distant from him,

Phineas and Isabella were growing very close.

"And that was another thing I'd wanted to do but can't now, thanks to

Candace, Mom and apparently Perry," Phineas grumbled.

Perry growled, he was nearby.

Isabella and Phineas were silent for a moment.

Finally, Phineas spoke again.

"Isabella?" he asked.

"What?" she replied.

"Why do you listen to me? Day after day after day you just listen to

me rant on and on and on about how much I hate everything. Aren't you tired

of it? Why don't you tell me to go jump off a cliff or something?"

Isabella thought a moment. She should've been dead sick of listening

to him, but she honestly wasn't. For some reason listening to him rage on and

on didn't bother her, aside from making her worry about him.

"Well?" Phineas asked again.

"I'm your friend Phineas," she said simply, "I would never leave you."

"That's what I thought about some other people. Now I know that

nobody really cares. They're all selfish and they only care about themselves."

"You think I'm that way?"

Phineas looked at her. He sighed. "Isabella, how do I know that you

won't let me down too?"

Isabella just stared at him, unsure of what to say.

"Yeah, that's what I thought," Phineas said dejectedly. He hung his

head in despair.

"Give me your hands."

Phineas perked up, "What?"

"Give me your hands," Isabella repeated.

"Okay... why?" Phineas asked.

"Just do it."

Phineas turned to face her and held up his hands. She reached forward

and held them in her own. The effect was electric for Isabella. They were

holding hands! But she held back her lovesick nerves. She had something more

important to do. She looked Phineas dead in the eyes. He felt a little

uncomfortable under her intense stare.

"Isabella..." he said uncertainly, "what are you doing?"

"Phineas Flynn," she began.

"What?" he replied worriedly.

"I, Isabella Garcia Shapiro, swear to you, by my name as a Fireside

Girl, by my life and by my sacred honor, that I will NEVER desert you."

Phineas swallowed. He didn't know how to respond.

"I will never abandon you, or leave you friendless. I will stand by

your side no matter what, through thick and thin, for better or for worse,

even if you're a jerk to me and decide that you hate my guts, I, will yet be

with you," Isabella finished.

Phineas stared, mouth agape.

"Does that help?" Isabella asked. She'd gotten a kick out of the

whole thing. She felt like she was taking her wedding vows. Gosh... maybe

she WAS.

"Do you mean it?" Phineas asked.

"What do you think?" she retorted.

Phineas smiled at her. "Thanks, Isabella. Maybe I found at least one

real friend."

Isabella punched him in the arm. "What do you mean maybe? I'm

for real and you know it!"

"Yeah, I do," Phineas said, grinning slightly.

"Norm, go pull out the orange-haired midget."

Phineas and Isabella looked over to see Doofenshmirtz ordering his

giant robot to go pick up Phineas. Norm stomped over to the glass box to get him.

As Norm reached into the cage, Phineas sidestepped the massive hand and called

to Doofenshmirtz.

"What do you want, Doofenshmirtz?" he asked.

"I just want to talk to you."

"What for?"

"Come over here and I will tell you."

"All right, but I'll only come if Isabella can come with me."

"Uhh..." Isabella grunted. She didn't know if that was a good idea.

"You want her to come with you? AHAHAHA! You must like her I mean

you saved her life and you sit and talk to her all-"

"Are you going to let her go or not?" Phineas growled.

"Sure, why not? Norm, bring them both here!"

"Babysitting these prisoners all day is really boring!" Norm said

happily as he grabbed Isabella and Phineas and brought them over to

Doofenshmirtz.

"Put them down Norm, but stand next to us, I don't want them trying

anything funny!" Doofenshmirtz grated.

Norm set them down in front of Doofenshmirtz. Isabella glanced around

nervously. Phineas stared coldly at Doofenshmirtz.

"Now, what was your name again, Finn? Fido?" Doofenshmirtz asked.

"Phineas you idiot," Phineas said flatly.

"Phineas, right. I've been watching you ever since you shouted off

your sister the other day and I've noticed that you seem to have a lot of EVIL

potential," Doofenshmirtz began.

"So?" Phineas replied.

"Every time I look at you I can feel this evil, hateful glow about

you, and I just thought that-"

"You want an alliance, is that it?"

"Well, yes, I thought that together, we could rule the Tri-State Area!

What do you say? You wouldn't have to stay in that cage anymore!"

"Phineas would never join you!" Isabella shouted, then looked

uncertainly at Phineas, "Would you?"

"Maybe, what are the terms?" Phineas replied.

"Phineas!" Isabella cried.

"What? I don't have anything better to do."

"This guy is evil! You want to be evil too?"

"I don't know, I don't really care anymore."

"Phineas you-!"

"Hey, hey, wait, we weren't finished!" Doofenshmirtz interjected.

"What are your terms Doofenshmirtz?" Phineas asked.

"We'll be partners! You'll be free and together we'll concoct evil

plans to conquer the Tri-State Area!"

"Sounds good, but I want better. Here's a counter-proposal. We

conquer the WORLD, not just the Tri-State Area!" Phineas began.

"Oh! I like that! Yes, yes, that's good!" Doofenshmirtz replied.

"No, that's bad," Phineas replied, "also, Isabella gets her freedom,

too!"

"She has to stay here though, and if she tries to thwart us she goes

back in the Disintegratinator Chamber!" Doofenshmirtz responded.

"Fair enough," Phineas said, "Let's see, hm..." he looked at the glass

box his family was in, "Ferb, you want out, too? We could use your help!"

"I will not use my talents for evil," Ferb stated simply.

"All right then, your loss!" Phineas said. He turned back to

Doofenshmirtz, "So we take over the world and Isabella gets her freedom. Do

we have a deal?"

"Yes, we have an alliance!" Doofenshmirtz shouted as he shook hands

with Phineas. The two of them cackled maniacally.

"AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" they laughed.

"Oh, brother," Isabella groaned.

Candace opened her eyes. She stared at the ceiling for a minute, then

she finally yawned and sat up. Day seven. After the failed rescue, Candace

had gone back to her wrecked house. She knew the police were looking for her

and would probably put her in a foster home until they found her parents (IF

they found her parents), but she didn't really want to go with them. The

house seemed like too obvious a hiding place, so the cops never looked for her

there. They'd only come by once, and she'd hidden under some junk in her old

tree house, where she was staying now and evaded them. Now she was awake

again, facing another long day of... nothing.

Candace had really almost done nothing for the past week. There was

nothing for her to do. If she left the house the cops would get her, and she

couldn't hide out at Stacy's because she and her family were still in Japan.

Speaking of which, everyone seemed to have left right when she needed them.

Jeremy was at Summer camp and Jenny (her friend) had joined a Hippie commune.

Even Buford and Baljeet, two of Phineas and Ferb's friends were off at a nerd-

bully rehabilitation center for a few weeks. The only people that were around

were the random Fireside girls that Isabella used to lead, as well as

Isabella's mother, who could be seen scouring the neighborhood for her lost

daughter during the day. Candace had found a pen and paper in the wreckage of

her house and left the panicked mother a note explaining what had happened,

though she probably didn't believe it.

Candace's stomach growled. Time for breakfast. Candace climbed down

from her tree house, careful not to look down (she was afraid of heights), and

walked over to the destroyed kitchen. She pulled a box of cereal from the

remains of their cabinet and popped it open. She reached in and pulled out a

handful of cereal. She stuck it in her mouth and chewed. She looked through

what used to be a wall and out at the street. It was a nice morning. The air

was cool and the sun was casting gold and orange light into the sky. The

street was quiet and no one seemed to be passing.

Candace wondered what she would do after breakfast... the only thing

of note she'd done in the past week was go on Phineas and Ferb's log flume.

Yes, since they'd been caught, there was no reason for it to disappear and so

it didn't. That made Candace mad, but it didn't really matter anymore. She

had fun on the ride until the car she was in flew out of one of the corkscrews

and almost killed her. She didn't ride again after that.

Candace was almost done. She still didn't know what she was going to

do next. She needed a new life. She needed a new purpose. She needed... she

sniffed the air and scrunched up her face. She needed a shower.

After she finished, Candace put the box back and walked over to the

hose. She turned it on and sprayed herself in the face with it. It didn't

work very well, but she'd been doing it that way the past few days, and it was

starting to feel good. She then sprayed the rest of herself down (her clothes

were still on) and then walked into the sunlight and laid down on the grass to

dry out.

Normally the hours it took for her to dry would be a nuisance, but it

didn't really matter to her. She had nothing to do anyway. Candace just

stared into the sky and watched the clouds sail across it. She saw one she

thought looked like Jeremy.

Around noon Candace was dry. She got up, went and pulled some more

food out of her wrecked kitchen for lunch and then went and sat up in her

tree house door. She looked out across the neighborhood, toward the downtown

part of Danville, remembering the terrible events that had happened in the

previous week. She looked down at her house and sighed.

"I'm sorry Phineas and Ferb," she whispered, "I miss you. I didn't

know it would hurt you so much if I busted you. I mean, technically I didn't,

but still, I'm sorry. I miss you both. I miss you and Mom and Dad and

Perry..."

"You mean Agent P."

Candace nearly fell out of the tree house. She looked down at the base

of the tree and saw a large army-looking guy in an olive green uniform with a

dorky looking kid with thick glasses and curly red hair.

Major Monogram and Carl, Perry's superiors.

"Oh, no! You've come to take me away! I'm not going anywhere,

coppers!" Candace yelled.

"We're not here to place you in a foster home, if that's what you're

worried about," Major Monogram said curtly.

"May we come up?" Carl asked.

"I guess, if you're not going to drag me away, it's fine." Candace

replied.

Carl and Major Monogram climbed the ladder to Candace's tree house.

The two sat down on either side of her.

"Major Monogram," Monogram said, offering Candace his hand.

"Carl," Carl added, offering his hand as well.

"Candace," Candace said miserably, shaking both their hands, "what do

you need?"

"We fear that something terrible has happened to your pet platypus.

He was last heard from seven days ago, not long before this house was

destroyed. We think he may have been captured in a fight with the evil Dr.

Doofenshmirtz," Monogram began.

"The guy with the lab coat?" Candace asked glumly.

"You know him?" Monogram asked in surprise, "How?"

Candace related the story of her rescue attempt. Both Monogram and

Carl listened intently, eyes growing wider and wider and jaws dropping further

and further. By the end, Candace wasn't quite crying, but one could hear the

emotion in her voice.

"And I stood there, and I watched Mom and Dad and Phineas and Ferb and

Perry and Isabella and Norm and Dr. Doofenshmirtz flying away over the ocean

and I'll never see them again because they're gone and I have no idea where

they went!" she sniffed, "But they're out in the ocean somewhere, so I guess

that's where you can find Perry..." Candace finished.

"Carl! This is terrible!" Major Monogram barked, "We need to send

search teams out over the ocean immediately!"

"I'm on it sir," Carl said, pulling out a two-way radio.

"What am I supposed to do?" Candace asked sadly.

"Well, because you are a member of Agent P's host family, and because

he's gone missing in action, you're entitled to a lot of federal benefits.

Your house for example, is federally insured. We could send in a team to

rebuild it.

Candace perked up a little, "Really?" she asked.

"Yes. You are now eligible for a lot of government aid, you know,

food stamps, medical insurance, bottom line, you're covered and the government

will take care of you until we can find your parents and Agent P," Monogram

said.

"Wow... how do I get all this stuff?" Candace asked.

"We'll take care of it. Would you like a better place to stay until

your house is rebuilt?"

Candace thought a bit, "No thanks," she said, "this wreck is all I've

got left."

"I can respect that," Monogram said, a faint note of sympathy in his

voice.

"Hey, what do I do about all the police looking for me?" Candace

wondered.

"We'll talk to them," Monogram replied, "lay low for today, and by

tomorrow you should be able to walk freely through the streets without them

bothering you."

Candace smiled. "Wow, thanks. At least someone's looking out for

Me," she said.

"No problem. Your country is ready and willing to assist you in your

hour of need," Monogram responded, "Carl! Is that search party out yet?"

"They're on the case," Carl replied.

"Good."

Major Monogram and Carl said goodbye to Candace, and left their

numbers with her in case she needed them. Candace waved to them from her

tree house as they marched off across the lawn. She couldn't say that things

were right, or that she was happy, but she definitely felt better knowing that

someone was on her side. Their help would make things much easier for her,

and could probably help her get back on her feet. She sighed and looked out

over the neighborhood again.

"I wish everything could just go back to the way it was," she

murmured.

"Now see, this should have been working the day I captured you, but

the flight seems to have damaged some of the parts, and I can't remember how I

put them together in first place!"

Doofenshmirtz was showing Phineas his SETI device. As he explained,

it had been damaged when they'd flown out to his island fortress. He'd been

trying to fix it for the whole week since, but had made little headway.

"Hmmm..." Phineas said, looking at the machine's mechanical guts, "I'm

not even familiar with this thing and I can see that things are wrong."

"I know, it got banged up really bad!"

"Not even that, everything's just messed up! There's no way that this

could transmit a signal powerful enough to reach the alien empire... at least

not one they could still pick up... and it would take years to reach them!"

"Are you saying that my engineering stinks?" Doofenshmirtz growled.

"Yes, yes I am."

"Oh! Norm, put him back-!"

"Not so fast, it's all constructive criticism! Let's rebuild this

thing and I'll show you a better way to make it!"

"Yeah, right, I'm so insulted! I let you out and this is how-!"

"The problem is, I'm a better engineer than you are! I can't stand to

look at this! I've got to fix it!"

"What! You, a better engineer than me? Ehehehe... don't get cocky,

silly child!"

"Well hey, if you think I don't know what I'm talking about, prove it!

We'll both build a SETI device, and we'll see who's is better!"

"Is that a challenge?"

"Yes, yes it is."

"All right, good! I'll show you, little twerp!"

"Good luck, I can't wait to see your face when you lose!"

"Shut up!"

Isabella watched as the two both began working on their different SETI

devices. Phineas was at a major disadvantage because Doofenshmirtz's gadget

had already been built. He might not even finish before the doctor buried

him. He seemed confident though. At any rate, Isabella was rather

uninterested in global domination, so she went and plopped down in front of

Doofenshmirtz's ruined TV set. A great show was on. It had to do with

shattered glass and a Candace-head-shaped hole in the screen.

Candace.

Isabella suddenly realized what was happening. She was out! She

could try to escape! Or get help! She could call Candace! She looked warily

at Phineas and Doofenshmirtz. She had to try not to get caught. She stood up

and wandered casually about the room. She slowly moved toward Perry. Perry

was dusting some of Doofenshmirtz's evil trophies. As she got close, she

stopped and pretended to be looking at them.

"Perry..." she whispered.

Perry looked up at her.

"Is there something in here I could use to make a phone call?"

Perry pointed his duster at a large control panel and monitor across

the room.

"Good. Do you know Candace's phone number?"

Perry thought a moment, making sure to keep dusting so they wouldn't

be noticed. He then began discreetly raising his claws like fingers, showing

her each number. Isabella repeated them over and over in her mind.

"I think I've got it. Thanks, Perry," Isabella whispered.

Perry growled.

"Perry the Platypus, what do you think you are doing?"

Both Perry and Isabella nearly jumped out of their skins at

Doofenshmirtz's voice. Oh, no! He must have seen them!

"Why are you still dusting? You were supposed to bring me my lunch

like five minutes ago!"

Perry ran off to do his evil master's bidding. Isabella sighed in

relief. She began limping (her leg was still broken) to the control panel at

the other side of the room. She moved quickly this time. She needed to go

input that number before she forgot it.

"Isabella, could you come help me for a second?" Phineas called. His

nose was deep in the emerging SETI device.

"Uhh... I want... to... but..." Isabella replied.

"But?" Phineas asked.

"I... have to go to the bathroom, really bad!" Isabella bumbled.

"Hmm... you don't sound too sure about that, but go ahead, it's not

urgent."

"Thanks."

Isabella walked quickly toward the control panel. She looked back to

make sure no one was watching. She looked at it. It seemed to be a large

videophone. She punched a key, the first number of Candace's number.

BLEEP!

Isabella squealed and fell on her butt. Why was it so loud?

Phineas looked up. "What was that?" he asked.

Doofenshmirtz started to look up, but whacked his head on his device.

He yelled and started cursing.

"I... slipped and fell into this thing..."

Phineas got up and walked over to Isabella. She got up and brushed

herself off. She started to move away, when Phineas grabbed her arm.

"The bathroom's over there," Phineas said, motioning clear across the

room.

Isabella giggled. "Oops..."

"Isabella."

"What?"

"You don't have to go to the bathroom."

"How can you tell?"

Phineas looked over at Doofenshmirtz. He was still cursing and

totally oblivious to the world around him.

"I saw you talking to Perry," he whispered, "You're trying to call for

help."

Isabella's heart dropped like a lead weight.

"Well..." she sighed, "yeah, I was."

"And you lied to me about it?"

"Um..."

"See, you let me down too! You went behind my back!" Phineas yelled.

Isabella started shaking. No! She'd blown it!

Then Phineas started laughing. Not an evil laugh, a good-natured,

friendly kind of laugh.

"I'm just messing with you, Isabella," he chuckled, "who're you trying

to call?"

"Candace."

"Hm... seems like you could have made a better choice... I don't even

know if she has her cell phone."

"Do you have someone else we can call?"

"I don't want to call anyone, I've got to beat out this mad scientist.

I don't mind if you do though."

"You don't?"

"It doesn't matter much, I just want to see the look on his face when

I beat him. Even if someone came, they'd get him, not me! I could go right

on ahead with this SETI thing... except..."

"Are you really going to call down an alien army?"

"Don't know yet, I'll cross that bridge when I come to it."

"I see..."

Phineas looked over his shoulder. Doofenshmirtz was starting to

recover, though he was still grumbling under his breath. His head was still

inside his creation.

"Type in the next number, Isabella," Phineas said.

She did. The "BLEEP!" made Doofenshmirtz jump and hit his head again,

drawing a horrible stream of cartoon obscenities and re-distracting him.

"Well, go on, finish the message!" Phineas said.

Isabella typed in the number and a short message. She was about to

send it when Phineas stopped her.

"Hang on, this is hopefully going to Candace, right?"

"Yeah..."

"Let me add something."

Phineas wrote a message under Isabella's, then sent it. Doofenshmirtz

was still busy cursing and had missed the whole thing.

"Well, you ready to come help me?" Phineas asked.

"Uhh... sure," Isabella replied.

"Cool! Let's go!"

As they walked back to Phineas's SETI device, Phineas spoke to her.

"You don't have to hide things from me, Isabella. You can trust me."

"Yeah... I'm sorry..."

"It's all right, I haven't been acting very trustworthy lately."

Suddenly, a mighty growling rumbled from Isabella's stomach. She

stopped and cringed.

Phineas looked at her up and down. "It's for real this time, isn't

it?"

Isabella nodded painfully.

"The bathroom's over there," he said.

Suddenly, his stomach growled, and he felt an agonizing twist in his

intestines. He cringed.

They both looked at each other. Then they looked at the bathroom.

Then they looked at each other again.

"I'm first!" they both yelled at the same time. They both dashed for

the bathroom, Isabella keeping pace in spite of her leg.

Candace stared at herself. She stared and stared and stared. She

clenched her jaw and swallowed. Come on...

Her eyes burned. They started to water.

"Don't give up, Candace..." she muttered, "you can win... just ignore

the pain... just... ignore... it..."

Tears rolled down her cheeks. Her eyes twitched violently.

Candace gritted her teeth. The stinging was becoming unbearable...

"She's got an alien heart!" something sang.

Her reflection jolted. It blinked as it did.

"Ha! You blinked!" Candace shouted triumphantly. She smiled. Then

she frowned.

"Hey, wait... if that was my reflection, and it blinked, that means

that I blinked, which means..."

If you haven't figured it out, Candace was having a staring

contest with a piece of a mirror.

"I think that my girlfriend is an a-li-en!"

"Where's that coming from?" Candace wondered aloud, "Isn't that the

tune I put on my..."

"She treats my love like a science exper-i-ment!"

"That's the song I put on my cell phone for text messages!" Candace

looked toward the music. All she saw was a pile of splintered wood and

sheetrock, but the song was belting from beneath it.

"Does she love me for who I am?"

"No way!" Candace cried in delight. She charged to the wreckage and

dug furiously.

"Or does she wanna put my brain in a can?"

Candace threw off a broken table leg and saw it.

"My phone! It survived!" Candace cried with glee. She lifted it out

of the mess and held it up to the sky.

"I can't believe it still has a charge!" she said ecstatically. She

flipped it open. She had one new message. It was from an unknown address.

She opened up the text.

Candace read aloud. "Stuck on island with mad scientist, help...

Isabella. This is from Isabella! Hey there's more. Candace, come and face

me... Phineas. 'Come and face me?' What's that supposed to mean?"

Candace stared at the phone. Its battery sign started flashing.

"Oh, no! I'd better call her back before-no, wait, if they're with

Doofusface, then it prob-"

The phone went dead.

Candace stared at it. She let out a pathetic sigh.

"Oh, well. I don't even know if I could help them... or if they even

want me to. Phineas seemed to just think I got in the way... still,

Isabella texted my phone, so she must want my help."

Candace groaned. She didn't even know where they were or how to

get there or...

Major Monogram.

Candace perked up. That was it! Major Monogram could help her! But

first... she had to charge her phone or find another one to put her chip in so

she could call him and give him the number that had called her.

She started digging frantically through the wreck, looking for her

charger. The sun was setting, so she had to find it fast.

"Oh, c'mon... please be there..." Candace muttered.

She dug and dug and dug. She tore up the remains of three different

rooms before it got too dark to see. She finally sat on the ground and moaned

in despair.

"Why?" she whined, "Why is this happening to me? Why has my house

been destroyed and my family taken from me and my life ruined? Why? Why?"

She turned her head up toward the sky. Stars were beginning to come

out.

"Is anyone up there? Do you hate me? Are you punishing me for trying

to wreck Phineas and Ferb's fun?"

The sky was silent.

"Well I'm sorry, okay! I'm a bad, bad girl! I didn't mean to hurt

anyone, I just wanted Mom to know!" she screamed.

The sky was unmoved.

Candace yanked the dead phone out of her pocket. She held it up to

the sky.

"You see this?" Candace yelled, "Isabella just texted me, and all I

need is my charger so I can recharge my phone and get her number to Major

Monogram!"

The sky didn't respond.

"You don't even care, do you!" Candace roared, shaking her fist at it,

"Nobody cares about crazy, high-strung, selfish Candace Flynn! No one cares

that she's lost and alone and-"

Suddenly, something caught her eye. She looked and saw a cord hanging

from her phone.

Candace was flabbergasted. The charger had been connected to her

phone the whole time. She looked back at the sky.

A star twinkled.

Candace's eyes sparkled. Her expression melted from one of anger to

one of complete gratitude.

"Thank you," she said tearfully.

Candace looked back at her phone. She had a charger now, she needed

to find an outlet to plug it into. She thought a moment. All the outlets in

her house had been destroyed. She could break into Stacy's house and use one

of hers. She wouldn't mind, Candace had broken in there many times before for

various reasons. She had to not get caught by the cops, though. Major

Monogram had told her to wait until tomorrow to hit the streets. Candace

climbed into her tree house and grabbed Major Monogram's and Carl's numbers and

then began her journey down the street to Stacy's house.

Twenty minutes later, Candace was sitting in the waiting room at the

local police station.

Yep, she tried to walk two hundred feet down the road and got herself

caught.

Candace growled. Oh, well, it wasn't like she was going to jail or

anything, she hadn't done anything wrong. They just wanted to stick her in

foster care. Candace figured Major Monogram would eventually figure out what

had happened and bail her out anyway. Everything would be fine, but Candace

was still supremely irritated. She sat back in her chair and let her eyes

wander about the room. As she did, she noticed a white rectangle on the wall

with two little circle things on it, each with three holes, two long and

skinny, and one fat.

A power outlet!

Candace grinned and walked over to it. She plugged her phone in and

sat in the chair next to it. She held her phone in her hand and looked at it,

smiling. It was only a matter of time now...

She waited about ten minutes and let it charge a bit, then she pulled

Major Monogram's number out and dialed it.

It rang... and rang... and rang...

"Hello, you've reached Major Monogram, record your message after the

beep."

Candace sighed. Voicemail. She tried Carl. No luck there. Candace

tried both of them again with the same results. She thought a moment. She

decided to just text the number that had called her to Major Monogram along

with an explanation and a request to call her back. She sent it to Carl too,

just to be safe. After sending her messages, she sat back in her chair and

stared at the wall.

"Now what?" she griped.

She sat there for a while. She was bored out of her mind. She

finally picked her phone up and called Stacy, her best friend. She was still

in Japan, but it would be nice to have someone to talk to.

The phone rang... and rang... and rang... Candace looked at the

floor. Great...

"Hello?" Stacy's voice said.

Candace nearly burst with delight. "Stacy? Is that you?"

"Yeah..." Stacy replied.

"Oh, Stacy it's so good to hear your voice!"

"I've only been gone like a week and a half, Candace, you already miss

me that much?"

"Yes, yes I do!"

"Oh, well I'm flattered. But, seriously, you seem more desperate than

usual. Is everything all right?"

"Well..."

Not really. Candace laid out the whole story to her. The bust, the

robot, the smashed house, the kidnapping, the mad scientist, the fight, the

flying room, the tree house, the text message, the cell phone and so forth.

She didn't tell her about Major Monogram and Carl (Major Monogram made it very

clear before he left that she was not to blow their cover or Perry's.)

"And now, I'm sitting in a police station, waiting to go to a foster

home," Candace blubbered miserably.

"Candace that's awful!" Stacy cried, and yes, Stacy was familiar

with Candace and Phineas and Ferb's outrageous adventures, having been part of

several of them, so she believed the ridiculous story, "Why didn't you call us

sooner?"

"I couldn't find my phone."

"Why didn't you just-? Oh forget it. Hang on. Mom! Mom!"

Candace waited a moment while Stacy went and gave her mom a more

believable and much shorter version of Candace's plight. It wasn't long

before Stacy's mom was on the phone.

"Candace, are you there?"

"Yeah."

"You're at the police station?"

"Yep."

"Let me talk to one of the officers."

"All right."

Candace called to the receptionist and got the phone to the officer

that had taken her in. After much passing around of the phone and some red

tape information gathering, the officer returned and gave the phone back to

Candace. Stacy's mom was still on.

"Okay, Candace, here's what happening. We're your foster family, at

least in the short-term. The officer's going to take you to our house and you

can stay there tonight. You already know how to break in, correct?"

"I've only done it twenty-seven times and counting!" Candace bragged.

"Good. We're not done with our vacation here, but we're sending

Stacy back to keep you company. She's bored out of her skull here anyway."

"Cool!" Candace exclaimed.

"She'll probably arrive late tomorrow, or something. Until then, I

want you to stay out of trouble, all right? Don't leave the house until

Stacy comes, got it?"

"Yes, ma'am," Candace replied.

"Good. Stacy, you have anything you want to say to Candace before I

hang up?"

"Hang in there, Candace, I'll be right there!" Stacy yelled.

"Thanks guys," Candace said gratefully.

"Bye, Candace!" Stacy and her mom said.

"Peace!" Candace said back. She hung up the phone.

"Ready?" the officer asked Candace.

"Yeah," Candace said wearily.

The officer took her home to get her remaining things and then they

drove over to Stacy's. Once there, she and the officer got out.

"Okay, kid, they told me you know how to break into this house," the

officer said.

"Yep, just give me about five minutes," Candace replied.

Candace hopped over Stacy's fence and walked up to a toolshed in the

back yard. The officer followed suit. In front of the shed was a small

concrete porch that Stacy's dad worked on. Candace walked to a patch of

unkempt grass in the corner of the yard and pulled out a long iron bar. The

officer watched with interest as Candace walked back to the patio and stood

over it.

"What's this got to do with anything?" he asked.

"Just watch," Candace responded. She shoved the bar under the massive

concrete slab. The officer watched in awe as Candace worked the bar like a

huge lever and lifted the giant block of cement off the ground and shoved it

back into the shed. In the dirt beneath was a small hole and a lot of bugs

and worms.

"Wow, does that hole go to the house?" he asked.

"Nope, it goes into the shed," Candace replied, cringing. This was

the gross part. She had to go through all the worms and spiders and

cockroaches in order to move to the next step. She'd done it twenty-seven

times, but it never got any easier. She gulped.

Candace jumped down the hole, squealing as she went. She slithered

through as fast as she could, finally bursting out inside the shed. It was

pitch black in there. Candace couldn't see a thing.

"Ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, eek! Get off me! Ullgh!" Candace cried as she

brushed all the bugs off.

"You all right kid?"

"I'm fine, I'm in the shed. These bugs are just gross. Ow! I think

one of them bit me!"

"Well, now what happens?"

"I climb the shelves, if I can find-"

CRASH! Candace tripped and fell over a pile of random tools and paint

cans.

"OW!" she shouted angrily.

"Are you sure you're all right in there?"

"I'm fine! Grrr..." Candace rubbed her head and got up. She groped

around until she found the shelves, then began climbing. She reached the

ceiling and pushed up one side of the roof.

"Kid, is that you lifting the roof?"

"Yeah, this part's hard..." Candace stepped up onto the wall, lifting

the roof high over her head. She turned around and faced into the shed. She

took a deep breath. If she blew this part it would hurt a lot.

"Kid...?"

Candace bent her knees and jumped. As she did she held on to the roof

and threw her legs up and over it... all as the roof was falling. As she

landed she yanked her fingers out of the way just before they got crushed by

the heavy board.

"Whoa! What the-?" the officer cried.

"Almost there..." Candace panted.

Standing over Stacy's shed was a venerable old tree. A large branch

hung over the shed. Candace jumped and just caught it. She climbed along the

branch, hand over hand until she reached it's trunk. Then she braced her feet

against it and began climbing up branch by branch.

"Kid, what're you doing?" the officer called.

As Candace neared the top, she sat on a branch and grabbed two others.

She pulled them both off and carefully lowered then dropped them to the

ground. They clattered down and stopped against the trunk and a large, lower-

lying branch.

"I don't understand how this is supposed to-" the officer began.

"They're stilts!" Candace called back.

The officer walked to the base of the tree and looked at the branches.

"Hey you're right!" he exclaimed, "I still don't get how this helps,

though."

"You'll see," Candace assured him. She climbed down and stuck her

feet in each stilt.

"Kid, do you know how to-?"

"Yeah, me and Stacy learned to walk on stilts when we were both eight

years old. Still, if I fall... get out of the way 'cause I'll probably kill

us both if you don't."

"I see," the officer said uncertainly.

"Okay..." Candace said, "One, two, three!" she shoved off from the

tree and, after some shaking, stood up straight on the stilts.

Minor note, Candace was now two stories tall.

"Egad!" the officer cried.

"Whoaoh!" Candace said shakily. This was really uncomfortable.

Especially for someone who hates heights. Even though she'd done it twenty-

seven times.

"Are you going to-" the officer began.

"Don't say that word! I'm already scared out of my brains!" Candace

yelled in fear.

She took a careful step forward. Candace was shivering like nobody's

business. She took another step, then another... she was getting close.

"Oh man, I'm totally gonna pee myself!" Candace blabbered. She took

another step...

And slipped in a mud puddle.

The next few seconds seemed to happen in slow motion. Candace

screamed as she, on two-story stilts began falling forward. The officer took

up the chorus as Candace's life flashed before her eyes.

Well, she didn't die. She fell into the house, smacking her head hard

into the wall.

"Ow!" Candace roared.

"Whew!" the officer breathed in relief.

Candace pushed herself up with her hands. "I-I'm alive!" she cried,

"and I'm still dry!"

Suddenly, her left stilt fell out from under her and she twisted

around wildly on the right one."

"AAHHH!" Candace screamed.

"Oh my gosh!" the officer shouted.

Candace reached out and caught a windowsill as the other stilt fell

out from under her and left her hanging two stories in the air.

"AAAAHHHH!" Candace screamed some more.

"Kid, don't let go!"

Candace twisted around and caught the windowsill with a second hand.

She stuck her feet against the house and pulled herself up a little.

"Wow..." Candace panted, "I can't believe I'm not dead! And I still

didn't wet myself!"

Then Candace made a huge mistake.

"Kid! Are you all right?" the officer yelled.

Candace looked down at him to reply. That was the mistake.

Getting a good look at how high she was sent Candace into psycho-panic

mode.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

she wailed, "Oh gosh! Oh gosh! HELP!"

"Hang on, kid, I'm gonna go find a ladder!"

"No! Don't leave me! Ah, man, I'm gonna need some new underwear!"

she lifted herself up the rest of the way and pounded the window. The glass

fell in but hit the ground without shattering. Candace climbed frantically

through and collapsed safely in Stacy's room, breathing harder than she had

in a long time.

"Kid? How'd you do that?" the officer called from the back yard.

A shivering Candace dragged herself back to the window and looked out

at him.

"Stacy's window pops out. It's not made of glass, it's made of

plastic!" she replied.

"Well I'll be..." the officer muttered, "why don't we just break the

lock next time? You think?"

"That would be a marvelous idea," Candace blurbed.

The officer grinned. "Why don't you go down and open the front door

for me so we can get your stuff in there?"

"Give me a minute," Candace groaned.

Pretty soon Candace's stuff was in the house and the officer was gone.

Candace found herself alone in Stacy's house. Not knowing what else to do,

she went and plopped down in front of the TV. She turned it on and nearly

dropped the remote. A cartoon show called Phineas and Ferb with her and her

brothers and the roller coaster they'd built earlier that Summer was on.

"What the-?" Candace said, dumbfounded.

As she watched the show, Candace's shock turned to uncontrollable

laughter as she watched everything that she'd seen happen that day in the

third person. Kind of like an out-of-body experience or something. After she

finished watching Phineas and Ferb carve her face into Mount Rushmore, she

turned off the TV and conked out on Stacy's couch, feeling better than she

had in over a week.

She didn't sleep for very long, though. He phone suddenly rang, this

time the tune was, "I'm Lindana and I wanna have fun!" It was a call, not a

text.

Candace rolled off the couch and grabbed her phone off the TV set,

where she'd left it. She hit the answer button and held it to her ear.

"Hello?" Candace asked.

"Candace, is that you?" a high-pitched girl's voice answered.

"Isabella?" Candace exclaimed.

"Yeah, it's me," Isabella replied.

"How are you calling me? I thought you were in that guy's-"

"We are, but he's asleep right now. Listen, he let me and Phineas out

of the disintegration chamber. He made a deal with Phineas and now Phineas is

helping him with his SETI device!"

"Isabella, where are you?"

"I'm not sure, I was just calling to see if you'd gotten my message."

"I did. Help should be coming sooner or later."

"Aw, sis, you're not gonna take my challenge?" a confident voice

asked.

"Phineas?" Candace asked back.

"'Come and face me'? You're not going to? Man, I thought you were

lame before," Phineas said.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Candace growled.

"You won't even come in person to rescue your own family. You're going

to send the authorities instead."

"Listen, twerp, I don't even know where you are, I can't come get you!

And besides that, you hate me and you don't want my help!"

Phineas laughed. "Oh, Candace, you're so pathetic... don't you know

that Mom and Dad and Perry and Ferb and Isabella would love your help? You

abandoned them because I threw a few little insults in your face. Such a

crybaby."

"Phineas, what're you-?" Isabella began.

"What do you want, Phineas?" Candace asked angrily, "Why do you want

me to 'come and face' you?"

"You see, Candace," Phineas said, "if the authorities come here, I'm

with this Doofenshmirtz guy and they'll get obliterated when they come in. I

made all sorts of awesome peaceful stuff and I can make all sorts of weapons

and security systems, too. If you come in person, however, we'll make a deal

and I'll give everyone back if you accept the terms."

"What're the terms?"

Phineas laughed again. "'Come and face me' and I'll tell you."

"How can I if I don't know where you are?"

"You've got the same blood as I do Candace," Phineas replied, "If I

can do awesome things, so can you. Figure it out."

"I will," Candace seethed.

"Good, Isabella, you have anything else to say to her?"

"Umm... good luck? Tell my mom I love her and that I'm okay!"

Isabella pleaded.

"Sure," Candace replied.

"Come and face me, Candace." Phineas said. Then the line went dead.


	4. Chapter 4: Candace Answers the Challenge

Chapter 4: Candace Answers the Challenge

The next morning Phineas showed Doofenshmirtz the blueprint for his

SETI device and the doctor had to admit Phineas's device was much better

(Phineas hadn't even built the SETI device the day before. He'd ended up

making a contraption that had instantly healed Isabella's broken leg, which

she'd greatly appreciated.) Phineas then gave the blueprint (for a SETI

device, not a leg healer) to Doofenshmirtz and told him to build it. He

explained that he had wind that they might soon be discovered and that he

(Phineas) would need to build defenses for the island. The doctor agreed and

the two set to work, Doofenshmirtz on the SETI device, and Phineas on island

defenses. As Isabella watched the two work, she couldn't help but wonder what

Phineas was up to. She couldn't tell if he was the good guy or the bad guy.

It just kind of seemed like he was doing his own thing.

"So, uh, Phineas, watchya doin'?" Isabella asked.

"Building an Automatic Radar Blaster. It'll track anything that comes

near this island and blast it to smithereens. I'm also fitting it with anti-

jamming technology in case they try to scramble the radar."

"Gosh," Isabella replied, "why don't you want anyone coming here? Do

you not want to escape?"

"I want Candace to come here, no one else."

"Why?"

"I've got a score to settle with her."

"Didn't you kind of already settle it?"

"A little yelling is no where near as bad as what she did to me,"

Phineas explained, "I've got a plan for Candace."

"What's that?"

"If she ever gets here, you'll find out. I'll tell you this though,

if Mom and Dad and Ferb and Perry ever want out of here, they'll either need

to join me and Doofenshmirtz, or Candace will need to come save them. I won't

have it any other way."

"Is there a reason you can't tell me what your plan is?" Isabella

asked.

"It'd spoil the surprise... and the test."

"The test?"

"Just wait. It'll all make sense when she gets here."

"IF she gets here..."

"She will. Trust me."

"If you say so..."

Candace was back at her house. She stood over the wreckage, trying to

decide what to do. The good news was that she had a purpose in existence again.

The bad news was that she had no idea how to fulfill it.

Monogram and Carl had called Candace back that morning. They'd told her

that they had gotten her message and the number and that they were tracking

the number's source. They said that they would probably find Doofenshmirtz

and her family before long with the information. Candace asked them if they

would tell her where Doofenshmirtz was when they found him, but they refused,

saying that they didn't want her to go looking for him and get herself hurt.

So that's where she was. She had to find Doofenshmirtz without any

help. She'd "borrowed" Stacy's laptop and looked up the phone number on the

internet, but she couldn't find anything on it. Now she stood over the ruins

of her house, trying to figure out how on Earth she could find her family.

"Argh, Phineas, why can't you just let it go?" Candace grumbled,

"Technically your misery's not even my fault," What did he want her to come

there for, anyway? She figured he was probably playing some game to get back

at her for something she hadn't actually done... though she'd wanted to. She

started digging around in the rubble.

"Maybe if I randomly pull up bits of sheetrock I'll get an idea."

Candace said sarcastically. What could she use? Phone... maybe she could go

to the phone company... but their information should have been on the

internet... GPS, maybe? That wasn't a bad idea... maybe she could call

Isabella and get the- no, Isabella didn't know where she was any better than

Candace did. Uh... what else could you use to communicate? Radio? No. TV?

That only went one way. Screaming really, really loud? Candace didn't think

even she could scream that loud.

Candace growled. This was ridiculous. Maybe she just needed to wait

on Major Monogram and Carl and hope THEY were able to rescue her family. Hey,

maybe the feds had something she could use... in a top secret computer or

something... that she could break into and hope she didn't get caught and

thrown in the slammer for the rest of her life.

The really annoying thing was, the thing she really needed to find

Phineas and Ferb was, well, Phineas and Ferb. They'd just whip up some insane

contraption to find themselves and-

Candace stopped. Of course! That's what Phineas wanted! He was

challenging her to do something incredible like he and Ferb always did. SHE

was supposed to whip up some insane contraption to find them!

"Great..." Candace groaned. She was not an engineer like her brothers

were. She was more of a wannabe singer/useless teenage girl.

"I guess I can learn... maybe..." she said. What could she make? A

phone tracker? Not bad... Maybe a DNA locator thing? Or a giant megaphone?

Maybe an airplane? But she wouldn't be able to see them from an airplane...

unless... what if it had a radar? A Phineas and Ferb tracking radar? How

would she even do that?

She found the last idea strangely appealing, but decided that a phone

tracker was the most practical choice. She could probably get one at a store

or at the police station... wait... maybe the police could track the number!

Candace leapt to her feet and ran from the yard, heading for the

police station. She'd gone three houses down before she realized that she

could just call them. She pulled out her phone and related the situation to

the receptionist, forwarded her to another officer, who called the number and

tried to track it. His tracker brought up the words, "PRIVATE NUMBER", with

no information. He got Doofenshmirtz's answering machine, ("I'm not here

right now, or am I?") but nothing more. Doofenshmirtz was good, this time, at

least. Candace thanked the officer and dragged her feet back to the house-

back to the drawing board.

Once at the house, she laid down in the grass and stared boredly into

the sky. She was REALLY wishing everything would go back to normal, though

she figured the only way to do that was to find everyone and drag them back...

which she still didn't know how to do.

Candace stared up at the clouds. One of them looked like Ducky Momo

(don't ask). Another one looked like Ferb's head. Another looked like the

log flume he and Phineas had built-wait, that was the log flume.

Candace sat up and looked at the humungous ride. It should've been

strange for a log flume to be in her backyard, but for Candace that was the

only thing left about the world that was still normal. Funny, it looked

bigger than it had before... and it was swaying. Candace suddenly noticed

that it was kind of windy. She looked at the tree, watching it sway.

RRRRRNNNNKKK!

Candace perked up. That didn't sound good. She turned toward the

noise and discovered the mighty bulwark of Phineas and Ferb's (apparently,

shoddily crafted) log flume falling toward her. Candace leapt to her feet and

started to run, only to have the supports come crashing down around-but not

on top of-her with a resounding BOOM.

Candace tried to stop but tripped over the newly-fallen supports and

flipped head-over-heels over them, smacking her head wonderfully on the next

support and knocking herself unconscious.

"Barrel... magazine..."

Isabella handed Phineas a heavy clip of bullets. He was assembling

the last of a network of computer operated heavy machine guns set around

Doofenshmirtz's island hideout. Building weapons capable of blowing someone's

head off at 100 rounds per minute was simultaneously disturbing and really

really cool.

"You realize you could realistically kill people with this stuff?"

Isabella asked him for the thousandth time.

"Yep."

"Phineas, I know you're mad, but it really isn't right to take it out

on everyone else."

"I'm not taking it out on EVERYONE else, just Candace and anyone who

tries to help her."

"And technically she wasn't the on that busted you either."

"Well, what better way to get back at Mom than through her daughter?"

"Why can't you just forgive them?"

"They've ruined me, Isabella."

"I can see that, but it seems to me that the great Phineas Flynn

should be able to move on."

Phineas turned and looked Isabella dead in the eye. "That's just it,

Isabella, think! What would happen if I built a plane, flew us all home,

fixed the house and forgave Candace and Mom?"

"Well... I guess things would go back to normal... wait..."

"They wouldn't, would they?"

"No, they wouldn't... you've been busted, your mom wouldn't let you-"

"Exactly. No more roller coasters, no more log flumes, no more

rockets, no more tree house fights..."

"Just a normal, boring old life."

"All I ever hoped for and dreamed of will be crushed and I, during my

teenage years, will probably be shaped by force of peer influence and mass

society into a dull, mindless slog without a creative thought in his head."

"I see."

"That's what I was looking forward to the day I got busted, but now,

because of Doofenshmirtz, I have hope."

"Doofenshmirtz gave you hope?"

"Because of Doofenshmirtz, I've been given a chance to escape."

"What do you mean?"

"I won't tell you everything right now. It'd still ruin the surprise.

But know this, Doofenshmirtz is working for me, not the other way around.

Over the past couple days I've formed a plan, and with it, I will be able to

continue doing what I love, Mom will have no power to stop it and I will get

serious revenge on Candace. Mom too."

"Isn't there a better way?"

"Can you think of one?"

Isabella thought for a moment. She thought really hard. This might

be her only chance to change Phineas's mind. Instead, all the thinking did

was convince her that Phineas was right. He DID only have two real choices.

He could save them, which would benefit everyone except him and be a long-term

loss in creativity and technology to society at large, or he could do whatever

he was planning, which, at least in the short-term seemed to be bad for

everyone but him, and which was almost definitely bad for Candace and his mom,

but would somehow allow him to continue creating awesome stuff and might end

up being a general (and possibly very great) boon to the human race.

"No," she finally replied.

"Neither can I. Just trust me. This'll turn out well for you, one

way or another. The only one who'll really get burned by this is Candace...

and maybe Dr. Doofenshmirtz, but mostly Candace."

"What're you going to do to her?"

"Don't worry, I won't, PHYSICALLY hurt her... much."

"Is it necessary for you to hurt her for everything else to work?"

"Oh yes, oh so necessary... if I want vengeance, that is."

"So it's not, you just want to get back at her?"

"Yeah."

"You've changed, Phineas, you used to love Candace."

"That was before she busted me."

"She didn't!"

"She certainly tried."

Isabella groaned in frustration.

"So... are you a bad guy now or a good guy?"

Phineas thought a moment... "I'm more of... a rebel with a cause."

"What's your cause?"

"I fight for what I've always fought for-"

"Coolness?"

"Yes, if I don't do what I plan, coolness will be destroyed."

"Okay... what about the revenge part, how does that help coolness?"

"That's my new cause, justice."

Isabella stifled a derisive laugh. "Phineas, getting back at Candace

is wrong and you know it."

Phineas didn't seem to have a comeback for that one.

Isabella continued, "You're angry and you can't let go."

Phineas was silent.

"Just let it go, Phineas, do what you're planning but don't hurt

Candace, you're better than that!"

"No, no I'm not." Phineas said flatly.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean I'm going to get back at Candace anyway."

"Even though it's bad?"

"It's totally worth it."

This time Isabella didn't have a comeback. She stared at Phineas for

a moment, then just looked sadly at the ground. The love of her life had

turned into a big jerk. Oh well... hopefully once he got back at Candace he

would be satisfied and chill out... or maybe not.

"Candace? Candace? Are you all right? Candace!"

"Head hurts... log flume... crash go boom..."

"Snap out of it, Candace! What happened?"

"Snap... outta what?"

"Open your eyes!"

"Wuuhhhaat?"

"Open your eyes."

"Don't wanna... make headache worse..."

Someone grabbed Candace and shook her really hard.

"C'mon lazy bones, you can do it."

Candace finally opened her eyes. "StOoOoOoOoOoP IT!"

"You look terrible, what've you been cleaning up with, a hose?"

Candace's eyes focused slowly, "Why yes, yes I-"

The image finally came clear. Candace nearly burst with joy.

"Stacy!" she exclaimed.

Stacy's expression betrayed a mixture of confusion, concern and a

hint of, "Oh brother, what'd you do now you dummy?" boredness.

"Yep. It's me."

"I'm saved!"

"From yourself I suppose..."

"You don't know how long-wait, what's that supposed to mean?"

"You've been using a hose to get clean?"

"Well, yeah! I don't have anything else! It's not like my house

isn't trashed and I have a hot shower and-"

"You haven't been working hard busting your brothers?"

"-I haven't been working hard busting Phineas and Ferb and Mom-hey,

did they build this log flume thing? I gotta tell-what?"

Stacy was trying hard to stifle a laugh. Sometimes her best friend

was totally clueless... which made her both annoying and endearing at the same

time.

"Hee, hee, Candace, you're so predictable..."

"What?"

"Don't you see this log flume? You gotta tell your mom!"

"Oh, right! Man, I'm really-" she started reaching for her phone and

suddenly stopped. Stacy burst out laughing.

"That is so not funny," Candace griped. Stacy laughed harder, "Did

you come all the way from Japan just to make fun of me?"

"It might have been worth it. What were you doing on the ground?"

"Phineas and Ferb's stupid log flume fell on top of me!"

"Ouch."

"'Ouch!' All you can say is 'Ouch'?'"

"Yeah," Stacy was clearly enjoying herself.

"I could've died!"

"That might've been easier."

"Did you take an obnoxious pill on the plane or something?"

"Maybe, by the way, did you have fun walking on those stilts? Or,

more importantly, did you pee yourself this time? I don't think I ever got my

underwear back from the last few times you used them..."

"I'll have you know that-okay I did, but only because one of the

stilts fell out from under me and I almost died."

"You better not have used my underwear. I wonder if I dug around in

this wreck that used to be your house I'd find them..."

"I didn't use your stupid underwear! What does that even have to do

with anything?"

"I don't know, what were we talking about?"

"What were YOU talking about?"

"Jeremy, what's he up to?"

"Oh, Jeremy... I haven't seen him since he-"

Stacy had had enough. She grabbed Candace again and shook her

harder.

"Candace, get ahold of yourself! You're letting me talk you in

circles!"

"Circles? Like the moon? Or a cheese wheel?"

"It must be that bump on your head. Your brain's scrambled."

"Maybe that's why my head hurts, it got bumped by Phineas and Ferb's

log flume that fell and go boom..."

"Stay here for a second, I think I can help you."

"Help what?" Candace blubbered stupidly.

A few moments later Stacy blasted Candace in the face with the hose.

"GYAH! Blululuublub... O-blub-kay! I'm-blublulubl-STOP! *Glub* I'm

awake! I'm snapped out of it, okay!" Candace glubbed through mouthfuls of

water.

"Finally."

"Oh... what happened?"

"I think the log flume fell on top of you."

"Yeah, I was trying to figure out how to track down Phineas and the

wind blew it over... yeah, that's right..."

"You were trying to track down Phineas? What about everyone else?"

"He and Isabella called me last night."

"They did? Where were they?"

Candace rattled off a short explaination of the call, Phineas's

challenge and the events that had transpired since she'd called Stacy,

referring to Major Monogram and Carl only as "the authorities".

"So, it basically sounds like if anyone tries to rescue your family

besides you, Phineas is going to annihilate them."

"Yes."

"Your brother's gone off the deep end. What'd you have to bust him

for?"

"I didn't bust him, MOM busted him."

"You were trying all Summer."

"My head hurts."

"The bad thing is, Phineas is probably totally capable of doing what

he said."

"I know."

"You have to find some way to get there, or you might never see your

family again."

"Thanks for reacknowledging that for me."

"You think Phineas wants you to make some crazy device to track him

down?"

"Yeah, but I don't know how."

"You built that giant dinosaur slide once."

"Yeah, but that had instructions."

"Why were you building it, anyway? Aren't you usually trying to

PREVENT stuff like that?"

"Well, Phineas and Ferb decided not to do anything that day, so I had

no one to bust-"

"Oh, _no_, are you kidding me? That's so pathetic. Hang on..." Stacy

sat down on a cross beam, "It's story time Candace. I gotta hear this whole

thing. Start from the very beginning, I want every detail."

"Okay, so I get up, normal old day, right?"

"Yeah."

"Mom leaves and I go out to see what Phineas and Ferb are up to."

"And?"

"And they're literally just standing there in the yard, doing

nothing."

"Nothing?"

"Nothing. I ask them what they're doing, and they say-"

"You mean PHINEAS says..."

"-yeah, Phineas says they're doing nothing, and I say, 'Standing is

something', so they both fall and float down peacefully on their backs and

lay there like a couple of useless rocks."

"I didn't know they could do that."

"Neither did I. So, I go and call Mom, and tell her Phineas and Ferb

are doing NOTHING, and she tells me I'm overreacting and that I should let

Phineas and Ferb enjoy their do-nothing day and I'm like, 'Yeah, you're right'

and so I decided to do something besides busting them."

"You DO something besides bust your brothers?"

"That was the problem. Pretty soon I'm setting up a camera to bust

them and then I remember they're not doing anything, so I get out my phone to

call Mom again, then I remember-"

"That's messed up."

"And after that I decide I'm gonna look great when I bust them, so I

go in front of the mirror, then I remember and growl and then start talking

to myself in the mirror-"

"I worry about you sometimes."

"And I'm like, 'Face it, you can't do ANYTHING unless you're busting

your brothers, and if they're not doing anything then-'"

"Oh, _no_."

"Oh, yes. I stopped for a second. I almost couldn't bear to say it."

"What'd you say?"

"Who...is...Candace?" Candace said sadly.

"So you finally realized that your whole identity was wrapped up in

busting your brothers?"

"Yes," Candace replied tearfully. It was a sad memory.

"Oh, you poor thing... did you cry?"

"I cried."

"Aww..."

"Yeah, I know."

"So what'd you do after that?"

"I had to get Phineas and Ferb to do something, so I got out their

blueprint book and I- I-"

"You what?"

"The blueprint book."

"What about it?"

"Stacy that's it!"

"What's it?"

"Phineas and Ferb's blueprint book! It's under the house! I'm not an

engineer, but I can read instructions!"

"What're you talking about?"

"Their blueprint book! The one they have all their designs in! I

could use it!"

"We're not talking about Phineas and Ferb's do-nothing day anymore,

are we?"

Candace groaned. Sometimes her best friend was totally clueless...

which made her both annoying and endearing at the same time.

"If I find Phineas and Ferb's design book I can use one of their

designs to whip up some stupid contraption to track down Phineas!" Candace

said plainly.

"Oh."

"C'mon, help me dig!"

"You do realize it's night and that it would be hard to see it?"

"It's night? What the?" Candace looked up and at last realized it was

dark.

"You were out for a long time, I think," Stacy muttered.

Candace growled in frustration. "Oh, great! I finally figure out

what to do and now I have to wait until morning?"

"Patience is a virtue, Candace. My mom always tells me that... except

she doesn't call me Candace."

"What're we gonna do until morning?"

"I kind of want to sleep. Sixteen hours across the Pacific is a LONG

flight."

"I've been asleep all day! What am I supposed to do?"

"You weren't really asleep. You were unconscious."

"Well I'm still not tired."

"Whatever. Can I sleep in your tree house?"

"I don't care."

"Okay. Goodnight." Stacy walked over to the tree and climbed into

the tree house, leaving Candace alone.

"Fine, go sleep. I'm gonna find Phineas," Candace dashed toward the

house, completely forgetting she was still standing in the middle of the log

flume wreck. She hit the crossbar, flipped head over heels, slammed her

head in the exact same spot she had last time, collapsed to the ground and

blacked out.

"Perry the Platypus, it's almost done!"

Dr. Doofenshmirtz had nearly completed his SETI device (or, more

appropriately, PHINEAS'S SETI device). He couldn't wait to bring down his

alien army and rule the world.

Perry ignored Doofenshmirtz. He didn't care.

"I gotta say, this is a marvelous contraption! So much better than

that old garbage pile I made before! I should pay you!" Doofenshmirtz

continued, talking to Phineas now.

"Told you I was a better engineer," Phineas smirked.

"Yeah, yeah, I just hope you make island defenses as well as you make

SETI devices."

"You want a demonstration?"

"Yes, yes I would."

"Well you're about to get one. Here comes the FBI!"

"What?"

Phineas had been looking out the window. Over the watery horizon a

navy of slick black boats and force of helicopters was spilling into view.

"Augh! We're doomed! Perry the Platypus did you call them? Oh...

it's on now... your family's gonna be-"

"Dude relax, Perry didn't call them, I DID... indirectly..."

"What! Why I outta -"

"Chill. They're not gonna get us."

"They're not going to get you, their going to get me!"

"Trust me, they won't."

"How? There's like a jillion of them!"

"Just sit back and watch the fireworks."

"Phineas! Is that the police?" Mom yelled desperately from the

disintegration chamber.

"Yep," he responded

"Oh, thank heavens we're saved!" she cried.

"No you're not," Phineas said.

"What?"

As if on cue, a tremendous BOOM shook the island and a wall of water

rose up and engulfed the boats. At the same moment lasers and missiles fired

from the water in all directions and obliterated the whirlybirds. Phineas'

heartbroken mom watched as her and her family's hope sank into the ocean,

decimated by Phineas' defensive grid.

Mom started crying. Dad looked like he might cry too. Ferb, Perry

and Doofenshmirtz looked shocked. Isabella (who was also in the room) had an

"Oh, no what've I done?" look on her face. Only Phineas remained calm and

unruffled.

"Whoa," Doofenshmirtz breathed.

"Phineas... why?" Dad asked.

"Only Candace can save you... unless you want to join me and

Doofenshmirtz... and you don't try anything funny when you do," he responded.

"Candace? You mean that girl you yelled at and made her cry?"

"Yep."

"How's she going to? Wait... did you?"

"Is that SETI thing working?"

"It's a device! You call yourself an engineer and call it a 'thing'?"

"I call it whatever I want," Phineas heaved a mental sigh of relief.

Doofenshmirtz wasn't supposed to know that yet.

He and Doofenshmirtz continued arguing. Isabella turned and looked at

Perry.

"Perry... I helped him build that defensive grid... all those

people... do you think they're?"

Perry growled nervously.

"I hope Candace finds us... and that she gets through alive... I

can't believe I... but I told him I would..."

Perhaps Isabella's "wedding vow" had really been a deal with the

devil.

"I'm Lindanna, and I wanna have fun!"

Candace snapped awake. Her head hurt REALLY bad. Nevertheless, she

had the presence of mind to answer her phone.

"What?" she glurbed into it.

"We've failed Candace! He's too powerful!" it was Carl.

"What?"

"We took an army of agents to Doofenshmirtz's island to get your

family and our force got completely annihilated by his defenses! I don't even

think the military could've gotten past that!"

Candace slowly figured out what was going on. "Phineas..." she

muttered.

"Major Monogram went missing after the explosions! A bunch of us got

hurt! I barely escaped with my life!"

"Phineas..." Candace growled.

"Anyway... they told me to tell you that we can't save your family

Candace, I'm sorry. We just don't have anything that can get past that grid!"

"Phineas... what're you doing?" Candace whispered sharply.

"Okay?"

"Yeah."

"Okay, 'bye," Carl said dismally, and hung up.

Candace put her phone in her pocket. She looked up slowly. She

wasn't scared anymore. She wasn't sad either.

She was angry. She was going to find Phineas, and he was going to

pay.

She marched over to the house (climbing carefully over the wreckage of

the log flume this time) and over to where the garage had been. She dug under

the workbench a bit and found it-Phineas and Ferb's blueprint book. The sun

was up now (she'd been conked out all night), so she could read it. She

flipped through the pages, looking for anything that could help her. She

finally stopped at a page dated the same day the big toilet paper had been

found in the yard.

"This must've been what they made... the thing that got turned into

the tissue paper..." Candace whispered.

The page was titled, "World's Most Powerful Sensor".


	5. Chapter 5: Battle of the Flynns

Chapter 5: Battle of the Flynns

Isabella was sitting in a corner. She was numb. Dead.

"I'm a murderer," she said flatly.

Miraculously, however, no one had been killed by Phineas' defense

grid.

But she didn't know that.

Her eyes stared lifelessly out the window. Only a few hours ago, the

FBI had come to rescue them, and she'd helped blast them to oblivion.

Isabella wasn't a crying kind of person, but this would've done it...

if she wasn't just so plain shocked by it.

"I... can't believe I did that..." she told herself for the hundredth

time, "I-I-"

"Yes, Isabella, you killed someone, actually a lot of people."

Isabella didn't look up to see where the voice had come from. That's

because it was her voice. Yes, she was talking to herself.

"But... I didn't really mean to..."

"But you knew if you helped him it might..."

"I didn't think about it... much... I didn't understand..."

"Hey, you made an oath and you kept it. At least you were honest."

"Yeah, but I didn't mean for it... to... you know..."

"You knew he was going down evil insanity road."

"Yeah, but-"

"And you told him you'd stay by his side anyway, with good intentions,

of course..."

"I didn't know he would-"

"You thought maybe you could pull him back, but instead he dragged you

down..."

"No! I'm not-!"

"Oh, yes, you are-"

"I'm not a murderer!" she cried desperately.

"You said it yourself."

"No..."

"You knew what might happen, and you went through with it."

"I'm... not..."

"Don't deny it."

"Please... no... it can't be-"

"It's true."

"I-I-"

"You're a cold-blooded murderer, Isabella, you said it yourself."

"But I- I- I'm better... than that..."

"I thought you were too, but I guess we were both wrong."

"I..." Isabella sighed in defeat, "You're right. I can't believe I

did that."

"But that's just it, you DID."

Isabella felt rotten, to put it mildly. You ever had a dream where

you did something terrible (like killing someone) and that feeling you got

afterward? Remember how relieved you were when you woke up and found out you

hadn't actually done it?

Isabella couldn't do that. She wasn't dreaming. She'd actually done

it, or so she thought.

"It's not as bad as you think, you know..."

"Huh?"

"You've killed, Isabella. You're a murderer."

"How's that not bad?"

"It IS bad... the very worst... which is why it's not that bad."

"Explain."

"Most sins and crimes can be paid for, repented of... but murder...

Isabella... there's no going back..."

"Yeah, that's why I'm so-"

"You're on the dark side now, Isabella. You're a permanent bad guy."

"Wow," Isabella said miserably.

"Cheer up."

"Why?"

"Oh come on, Isabella, what does all this mean for you?"

"That I'm a jerk."

"Yeah... it feels good, doesn't it?"

"Uh..."

"Say it again."

"I'm a jerk."

"And?"

"I'm a jerk and I'm goin' to H-E-double-"

"Yeah, I'm a killer and I'm goin' to the underworld and I've got

nothing to lose!"

"It sounds better when you say it like that."

"Let it work in you, Isabella... feel it..."

"I-I-"

"I-I am Isabella Garcia Shapiro, the MURDERER, I'm evil and I LIKE it!

I'm going to live with the devil and until that day I cause death and

destruction and do whatever the * #$&!-hee, hee, wow, I just swore- I do

whatever the * #&#! I want to and I stomp all over anyone stupid enough to

get in my way! AHAHAHAHAHA!"

"Wow, that DOES feel good."

"All those silly rules you used to follow? Those things that you

couldn't do because they were wrong? They're gone."

Isabella grinned devilishly, "Cool."

"It is. Now, go do whatever the %*! you want to!"

Isabella looked across the room. She saw Phineas working on yet

another defensive weapon. She knew what she wanted to do first. She strode

seductively over to him.

"Hey Phineas, what's up?" she said smoothly.

Phineas turned his head to look at her. "Just another gun to...uh...

Isabella?" he asked nervously. He didn't like that look in her eyes.

She put her arm around him, pulled him in close and kissed him right

on the lips.

"Oh, gross!" Doofenshmirtz yiped.

Mom and Dad (thankfully) missed it. Ferb blinked. Perry growled.

Isabella let Phineas go and he dropped flat on his back.

"I've wanted to do that for a long time, Phineas," Isabella said

simply.

"Oh," Phineas grunted.

Isabella reached up, pulled off her bow, shook out her long, black

hair and looked out the window.

Phineas looked up at her. Despite his shock and revulsion, he

couldn't help but notice how content she looked. Kind of wild, too. Like,

totally at peace, but also crazy. She also looked...

"Free. Thanks, Phineas," she said softly.

"Thanks for what?"

"All my life, I've just sat back and pretended I wasn't there. But

you got me to kill someone, so I'm free."

"What?"

"I'm a murderer, Phineas. I helped you build those guns you blew

those people up with. I broke the most important law of right and wrong. Now

I'm a bad guy, and I can do whatever I want. I'm free at last. Thank you."

Phineas sat up. "Wait... those guns... they might have-?"

"Duh, Phineas, guns kill people."

"Oh, no I didn't think about-" Apparently Phineas hadn't realized that

someone could actually get hurt by his defenses, even though he did, but he-.

"Don't sweat it, Phineas. We're both killers now. Don't forget, I'm

with you all the way... all the way down to ($*% ."

"Did you just-"

"Yep," she ran her hand across his shoulder and began walking away,

"you'll get used to it..."

Phineas watched her for a moment, then he looked over at Ferb, who he

hadn't talked to in like, forever, and called to him.

"Ferb, what the tartar sauce just happened?"

"That's one hot temptress," he stated bluntly.

"Perry the Platypus bring me a bag. I think I'm gonna barf,"

Doofenshmirtz ranted.

Stacy awoke to the sound of maniacal laughter.

"AHA! AHAHAHA! AHA! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

"Oh, fudge. Candace what're you up to now?" she groaned. She yawned

and stretched. After a moment she threw off her blanket and got up. On the

way out the tree house door, she was greeted with more deranged giggling and

frantic Candace mumbling. Stacy climbed down the tree house ladder. The sun

had risen. It looked like Candace had been up all night, driving herself

crazy. Stacy slightly dreaded learning what Candace was gibbering about.

"What's with the insane cackling?" Stacy asked her as she got close.

"I did it Stacy!"

"Did what?"

"I built it!"

"Built what?"

"Look!"

Candace stepped aside, revealing a large satellite that was

considerably bigger than her and that should have been completely obvious to

Stacy.

"What? The satellite?" Stacy asked.

"Yes!"

"You built that?"

"I was just following Phineas and Ferb's blueprints, but yeah!"

"Maybe you built it, but it doesn't work."

"Sure it does!"

"Candace, you may be related to him, but you're _not_ Phineas."

"You think there's no way this thing works?"

"No."

"How much you wanna bet?"

"Have you tested it yet?"

"As I went along..."

"But not the whole machine at once?"

"No..."

"Twenty bucks."

"You're on."

Candace went and grabbed Stacy's laptop ("What're you doing with

that!") and pushed some buttons on the keyboard. The satellite responded with

a mighty sonic boom that knocked the two girls over and shattered nearby

windows.

"AHHH!" someone screamed.

"What the-!" another yelled.

"Who blew up my windows!" a third neighbor cried.

"Fork it over," Stacy said flatly.

"Wait, wait, wait! I just forgot to put the focuser on the receiver,

hang on..." Candace picked up a large, metal-light-bulb-shaped whatchamacalit

and climbed into the satellite dish, plunking it onto the end of the three

bar things that stick out of big satellite dishes.

"And that will make it work?" Stacy challenged.

"Of course!"

"It's goin' up to forty bucks if it BOOMS again."

Candace hit the buttons, and this time, a huge map came up on the

laptop's screen with details about essentially every speck of dirt in the

Tri-State area.

Candace giggled with glee. "See? See?" she cried.

Stacy wasn't convinced yet. "What does it do exactly?"

"It gives information on anything you want! I can use it to track

Phineas!"

"I think you just loaded some pictures into the computer. If this

really works, tell it to look at my cousins' house in Japan."

Stacy was dumbfounded. It showed the entire floor plan of their

house, her cousins' current positions and also what they looked like. The

quality wasn't quite as good as Ferb's, but it was functional.

"I don't believe it..." Stacy whispered.

"Twenty bucks, please!" Candace chimed, holding out her hand.

"I don't have twenty bucks, I just wanted to make a bet."

"What?"

"Gosh, I can't believe Candace Flynn built this... even with a

blueprint..."

"I can sue you for breaking our contract you know..."

"Wow, Candace. I-I'm- proud of you, or something. I didn't know you

were capable of making something like this. You really do have Phineas'

blood."

"Where's my twenty bucks?"

"How do you find Phineas with it?"

"Twenty dollars will tell you."

"Oh, fine!" An irritated (and impressed) Stacy dug into her pocket

and pulled out eight dollars, "There, that's all I've got! Happy?"

"I've just put the other twelve on the tab..." Candace said smoothly.

"Okay, so how do I find-"

Candace typed something and the sensor swiveled in the direction of

the ocean. The laptop screen went black as the satellite focused all its energy

on its prey, and-"

There he was, in the lab, with Doofenshmirtz, Ferb, Isabella and all

the rest. Candace leapt to her feet and let out a triumphant whoop.

"Oh, yeah! Phineas and Ferb eat your hearts out! Ol' Candace has got

it too, watch out!"

Stacy played with the keys a little and got the picture to zoom out.

All manner of deadly weapons came into view, discovered by the sensor.

"Candace, check this out. Your brother built defenses all over the

island. Those machine guns would do a lot more than just take your head

off..."

Candace looked, "Hm... well, we're gonna have quite a fight getting

in it looks like."

Stacy's eyes went wide with terror, "We?"

"You're not gonna help me?"

"Candace, we'll get killed if we go against this stuff!"

"Oh, Stacy, you're forgetting that there are two Flynns..."

"And one Fletcher," Stacy added, including Ferb.

"This is my brains against Phineas'. Who do you think'll win?"

"Him."

"Yeah, you're probably right," Candace sighed, "we're gonna need a

plan. A really good plan."

"We?"

"Yes, WE."

"Candace, I've done a lot of things for you, but, let's face it, if I

help you with this, I'll probably get my head blown off. YOU'LL probably get

your head blown off!"

"We have to try Stacy, we're the only ones who might be able to get

through!"

"MIGHT."

"You're really not going to help me?"

"I'm not a soldier Candace. I don't know how to storm a fortress."

"But-" Candace sighed, "Yeah, you're right, I can't ask you to risk

your life just so I'll feel better. I have to do this alone," Candace looked

at the computer screen and started looking for a way through the defenses.

They stood there for a while. They didn't say anything. Candace sort

of looked like she was thinking, but Stacy knew what was really going through

her mind. She looked forlorn and abandoned. Candace wasn't a loner kind of

person. Stacy felt kind of bad for not helping her, but, well, she would've

done anything else for her, but dying for her... that was a little much.

But it would be the right thing to do...

But she'd probably be dead at fifteen...

Stacy decided the best thing to do would be to talk Candace out of

the insane venture.

"Candace..." she began, "you shouldn't do this. You'll get killed."

"I have to."

"You'll die! Call the military or something!"

"Carl said even the military couldn't get through that!"

"Who's Carl?"

"No one. Anyway, the authorities already tried. They're afraid of

him. No one can get past Phineas except me!"

"And even you have almost no chance."

"Yeah."

"So, what're you going to do?"

"I'm going to try and get past his defenses and save everyone."

"Candace, you're gonna get killed!"

"Well..." Candace began uncertainly.

"Well what?"

"I have to what I have to do."

Both were silent for a bit.

"You can stay with us Candace, it's all right," Stacy tried.

"They're my family Stace, I have to try."

"You've done all you can, Candace. They'll escape sooner or later.

Come home with me and we'll take care of you."

Candace looked at the ground. Stacy watched her, hoping she'd bend.

"Candace, please, you'd just be throwing your life away..."

"Stacy, I-"

"I don't want you to die Candace, and if you attack that fortress, you

will."

"What about my family?"

"I don't know, but what I do know is that if you try and rescue them,

you'll die and it won't do you, OR them any good."

Candace kept staring at the ground.

"All right..." she finally said.

"All right?"

"I'll go with you."

Stacy was visibly relieved. "Good," she said.

Candace looked up. She looked utterly defeated and completely

miserable.

Stacy gave her a hug. "It's all right Candace. Your with me now.

Things are going to be okay."

"It's my fault, Stacy. I could've saved them earli-"

"Shhh... it's not you fault. Don't worry, the authorities will get to

them sooner or later."

"They already did though! There's no-"

"Don't talk like that, Candace. They'll figure it out and save them.

Now come on, let's go home."

Candace and Stacy walked slowly from the yard. Stacy was glad

Candace had finally seen reason. She didn't want her to be dead. Candace

didn't seem glad at all. She was perfectly downcast. She felt helpless and

weak. Like she'd failed. Stacy noticed her misery and tried to lighten the

mood.

"You want to get a pizza tonight?" she asked brightly.

"No."

"Rent a movie?"

"No."

"Take a real shower? You look awful, by the way."

"I do?"

"Uh, yeah. You've been living like a hobo for almost two weeks now."

"Do I have like, scars and wild hair and-?"

"There's a puddle right there, take a look."

Candace looked. The sun was just right and she got a clear

reflection. She did look bad... there weren't any scars, but she looked all

ragged and dirty and her hair was very unkempt. What got her were the eyes,

though. They looked sadder than any eyes she'd seen since...

Yeah, you guessed it. The dream. That was what Candace was afraid

of. She didn't look like Wraith Candace yet, but she might have been on her

way... well, Wraith Candace looked hard and tough, too. This image just

looked pathetic. Still, it made Candace think.

"What do I look like, Stacy?" she said almost to herself.

"Like a royal teenage bum," Stacy replied.

"No, what do I look like?"

"Like a... is this some kind of weird metaphor I'm not getting?"

"If you drew a picture of yourself, Stacy, what would it look like?"

"I'd probably look like myself, you know..."

"So what would I draw?"

"Right now? A tired rat, maybe."

"Yeah. A lonely, beaten, useless teenage girl."

"You're really being too hard on yourself, Candace-"

"I'd also draw a coward. An insecure girl who looked inside and found

nothing. One who was brought to the fight and then ran away."

"All right, you need to speak English. I don't do metaphors."

She didn't, "Everyone draws a picture Stacy. Everyone has to decide

what they're going to draw. They can draw a hero. They can draw a loser.

They can draw something beautiful. They can draw something ugly. They can

draw something lame. Everyone wants to draw something cool, but most people

don't. That's because it's a lot harder to draw a good picture than a bad

one. Most people compromise and just draw something mediocre, not that bad,

but not that good either."

"Candace, what in the world are you talking about?"

"I don't really know what my picture looks like. I haven't drawn much

yet. So far it looks mediocre. I've got a choice here. If I go with you,

I'm about as good as everyone else. I did what I could, like most people do.

There's no shame in giving up at this point."

"That's right, Candace, you did your best."

"If I go with you, I'm mediocre. I'm as good as any other person."

"Everyone else is mediocre?"

"If I go back though... I'll probably die though, so that's not a good

idea."

"Somehow I don't think you've made up your mind to come home with me."

"But, what would I draw if I DID go back?"

"Candace, will you please tell me what's going on?"

"Who is Candace, Stacy?" Candace cried a bit too loudly. Stacy

jumped at the surprise energy surge, "Stacy, who is Candace if she goes with

you?"

"Uhh..."

"A normal, average, random teenage girl."

"Okay..."

"What if I go back?"

"Candace, will you just cut to the chase and-!"

"All right! Gosh, you have no flair for dramatic effect! I have a

choice, between doing what's right, and what's easy. Most people have had

enough at this point and take what's easy. They did what they could, and

that's good enough. I can do that with no shame."

"Okay, I kinda got that earlier..."

"A few though, do what's right. Some people will never give up, never

surrender. A handful of people don't care how hard it is. They'll do

whatever it takes."

"So?"

"So which am I, Stacy?"

"What do you mean?"

"Is Candace an average Joe, or is she more than that?"

Stacy thought for a minute. The metaphor was finally sinking in.

"So, what your saying, is that you can go with me, you'll be a regular

person who didn't really do anything that great with her life, or you can go

back and try to save your family and be a hero?"

"Yep."

"Candace, you're not a hero! You're a normal person! It's okay!

You've done all kinds of cool stuff, anyway! All Summer long you've done cool

stuff."

"I was along for the ride with Phineas and Ferb. I saw cool things,

but I didn't actually do them myself. This is MY time. MY test. My family's

in danger, and if I decide not to be the hero this time, but to be a coward...

I'll never forgive myself."

"Candace, for heaven's sake, you don't have to do more than you're-!"

"But that's what sets us apart. Life is a test. Most fail. But a

few, just a few, rise to the occasion, and they are the ones who will be

happy when their test is over. They are the only ones who will be fulfilled."

Stacy groaned. "Let's go stick your head in some ice water and bring

you back to reality," she said.

"That is reality, Stacy! And most people won't face it because

they're scared! Well, maybe you're like that Stacy, but I'm not. I've got a

picture to draw, and I'm going to draw the very best one that I can, nothing

less!" And with that, Candace turned and marched off, back to the backyard.

Stacy stood there, totally exasperated. She knew Candace would get

killed if she...

Or would she?

Stacy started to wonder if maybe she herself just didn't have enough

faith... nah. She wanted to help Candace, but if she was bent on this crazy

suicide mission, then she couldn't really stop her. Candace was right. She

had a picture to draw, and that was what she wanted to draw. Stacy had one

to draw, too, and right now she wanted to draw a large, pepperoni pizza.

"Good luck, Candace," she whispered, then turned and began walking

home.

Phineas had been thinking a lot about what Isabella said. Though he'd

known that his weapons had the potential to kill people, it apparently hadn't

registered that if he used them, they would.

He wasn't quite as fatalistic as Isabella, though. He might have

become a murderer... but technically he didn't know. It was possible, though

the chances seemed slight, that no one had actually been killed. Also, he'd

given fair warning NOT to come to the island. All he did was set up defenses,

and if Candace had done her duty when informing the authorities, they knew the

danger. It was more like someone set up a dangerous security system and a

crook who knew it was there was nevertheless dumb enough to walk into it.

He actually told that to Isabella, but she seemed convinced she'd

committed some unforgivable sin and could never be redeemed. Killing was

killing, she said. Phineas wasn't convinced. Her charges against herself

were dubious at best.

Speaking of Isabella... she'd gotten weird, to say the least. Phineas

couldn't decide if he liked her better this way or if he hated it. She was

suddenly... unrestrained, to put it mildly. After kissing him, which Phineas

(and Doofenshmirtz) still thought was gross, she'd made no attempt to hide her

feelings for him. Gone were the old, sharp, matter-of-fact statements Phineas

expected from her. Every time she talked to him now there was a flirty

playfulness in her voice. She was also more talkative and much more

relaxed than he'd ever seen her. Seriously, even now she was slinking around

the room, humming and singing random songs. Earlier she'd talked openly to

Phineas about their future together and their kids. But that wasn't the only

thing she'd talked about... she just yakked yakked on about everything under

the sun... everything from what the alien race he was about to call down would

do to the planet to her dog pinky to her own smelly feet (she'd worn the same

socks for over a week.) In some ways it was cool because she had opened up

and now Phineas was getting to know her better, but in some ways it was kind

of annoying to have her bugging him so much. Strange... he wondered-

"Whatchya doin'?" Isabella chimed happily.

Phineas yelped and jumped back, landing on his rump. Isabella had

just stuck her head in his face.

Yeah. Annoying... but maybe in a good way.

Isabella giggled.

"Isabella!" Phineas exclaimed, "What's the matter with you?"

"I was just playing with you, Phineas."

"Dude, I took a scan of the ocean around the island earlier, there are

no bodies. I'm pretty sure we didn't kill anyone."

"Really? That's kind of disappointing."

Phineas stared at Isabella. And she thought HE'D gone over to the

dark side.

"You need to stick your head in a bucket of ice water," Phineas said

flatly.

"Hold that thought," Isabella replied. She walked over to the

bathroom, opened the door, and went in. She didn't, however, shut the door.

Instead, she lifted the toilet lid, stuck her head into the bowl and flushed.

Phineas slapped himself to make sure he wasn't dreaming. He wasn't.

Isabella had just stuck her head in the toilet.

She came back, looking very chill, like she was having a perfect day

and all was right with the world. Her hair was also dripping all over the

floor.

"It didn't work, did it?" Phineas groaned morosely.

"Nothing was in it," Isabella assured.

Thank goodness.

"Isabella, you've changed."

"So have you."

"Yeah, but it's almost like you did 180 personality flip!"

"Not really, all this was just locked up inside... until I didn't have

anything to lose by letting it out.

"It's always the quiet ones..." Phineas lamented.

"You didn't tell me 'whatchya doin'."

"It's just another blaster for the island... though I honestly don't

think the island needs anymore. I'm mostly just building it because I'm

bored."

"Do you wanna come play with me?"

"I don't know, whatchya doin'?" Phineas chuckled at his copyright

violation.

Isabella didn't seem miffed by it, however, "Dripping," she said

happily.

"You have a really weird friend," Doofenshmirtz griped from a few

yards away.

"Yes, yes I do," Phineas agreed, "Is that SETI device done? You've

been working on it forever."

"Well... I was only about halfway there, but when I got up this

morning, it was already finished."

"_Really?_" Phineas said too louldly, "I wonder how that happened?" he

winked at Isabella, who gave him a quizzical look.

"I know it's like an evil ghost came and finished it for me!"

Doofenshmirtz replied.

BLEEP! BLEEP! BLEEP!

Everyone looked up. A radar tracker that Phineas had built was making

an extremely irritating beeping noise.

Isabella ran over to it. She looked at a screen and reported,

"Something is coming toward the island!"

The imprisoned Flynn-Fletchers looked up hopefully.

"How many?" Mom asked.

"One," Isabella responded.

The prisoners began murmuring excitedly.

"Could it be?" Dad said hopefully.

"Do you think?" Mom wondered.

Phineas got some binoculars and looked out of the lab, toward the

sunrise.

"Phineas, is it, you know?" Ferb asked.

"Candace! Candace! CANDACE!" Stacy yelled. She knew it was no

good.

Candace was gone.

And Stacy was pretty sure she knew where she went. She screamed in

frustration and sat down hard, head in her hands. Stacy was in a panic. She

knew her best friend may have only been hours from death, and she didn't know

where she was or what to do about it.

"Stupid girl!" Stacy yelled to no one in particular, "Why didn't you

listen to me? Now I'll never see you again!"

Should she call the police? Was there anyway they'd catch her before

she left? She was probably already gone (the harbor was only fifteen minutes

away.) Stacy didn't know what to do, but right now SHE was wishing Phineas

and Ferb were around to help her. She pulled a picture of her and Candace out

of her purse and looked at it sadly.

"Why did I let you do that Candace? Why didn't I-?"

"Stacy?"

Stacy looked up in surprise. In front of her were four of Isabella's

Fireside Girls.

"Uhh... hi?" Stacy replied uncertainly.

"What's the matter?" the girl in front asked.

"I can't find Candace. She went off to rescue her family, but she has

to get past this big fortress and she's going to get herself killed!" Stacy

sighed, "Why wouldn't she listen to me?"

"Wait, you saw Candace? And she knows where the Flynn-Fletchers are?"

"Yeah."

"Is Isabella with them?" the girl asked hopefully.

"Yes she is."

The girls suddenly brightened up. "You hear that?" the leader asked.

"Candace is going to get Isabella!" another cried.

The Fireside girls whooped. Stacy gave them a hard stare. They

slowly became conscious of the stare and stopped celebrating.

"What's wrong?" one of the girls asked.

"Did you not hear the part about the fortress? Candace has to get

past machine guns and laser cannons and missile launchers and sea mines and all

sorts of other nasty stuff in order to save anyone. She's toast!"

The Fireside girls were silent as the words sank in.

"Wh-what do we do?" one of them finally asked.

"I don't know," Stacy growled, "If I knew where Candace was I would

try and stop her, but she could be anywhere by now!"

"Wait... do you know how she found her family?"

"She took a blueprint out of Phineas and Ferb's design book and built

it..."

"CANDACE built something?"

"She's not an engineer, but apparently she can read directions..."

"What'd she build?"

"This weird sensor thing. It looks like she took it with her, 'cause

it's not here now... wait a minute..."

"Maybe we should..."

"She took my laptop!" Stacy yelled. She growled. She marched

over to the spot where the sensor had been, "Maybe I don't want to help you

you dirty rotten-hey, wait, here it is..."

Stacy's laptop was sitting peacefully on a chunk of rubble.

"Uhh..." the lead Fireside girl said.

Stacy looked at the laptop thoughtfully.

"I wonder..." she said. She turned it on. When it had booted up, she

looked around a bit and found what she was looking for.

"Pay dirt," Stacy said flatly.

"What?" the lead girl asked.

"The sensor's information is still in the computer. This has the

coordinates with the island where the Flynn-Fletchers are being held at," she

turned to the Fireside Girls, "You guys want to save Isabella?"

They nodded vigorously. Stacy looked over and saw Phineas and Ferb's

blueprint book.

"Fireside girls, I know what we're gonna do today!" Stacy cried.

"It is, Ferb. It's Candace."

A roaring cheer rose from the Flynn-Fletchers. Perry growled

excitedly. Isabella seemed to have mixed feelings.

"Who?" Doofenshmirtz asked, "The girl that you shouted out of-"

"Yes, her," Phineas said bluntly. He turned to his family. "Yes,

Mom, Dad, Ferb and Perry, your one chance at salvation is sailing over the

horizon as I speak!"

The family cheered again.

"Don't get excited just yet, though. She has to survive my defensive

grid first."

Mom's, Dad's, Ferb's and Perry's hearts all dropped like rocks.

"I thought you were gonna let her through," Isabella said, "you said

she was the only person who could save them."

"I did, but she's not going to get through because I let her..."

"Phineas... please..." Mom begged.

"You have avenged yourself many times over already son, why can't you

forgive her?" Dad prodded.

"Hmm..." Phineas scratched what would've been his chin if he had one,

"Isabella, do you think I should let Candace through?"

Isabella thought a bit. The Flynn-Fletchers nodded at her vigorously.

"You'd better not let her through!" Doofenshmirtz grated.

"Well?" Phineas asked.

"My question is Phineas," Isabella began, "what are you up to anyway?

You had a surprise? And a test?"

"Indeed I do... in fact... maybe I have two tests. It's time for the

first one."

"What's that?"

"I gave Candace a challenge, Isabella, let's see if she can rise to

the occasion."

Angry protests came from the family. Doofenshmirtz cackled maniacally

and told them Candace would never get through. Isabella looked intrigued.

"I hope she gets through, guarding the Flynn-Fletcher family is the

most boring job in the world!" Norm, the forgotten robot cried gleefully.

Everyone stopped and looked at him. Over time he'd just sort of faded

into the background.

"What?" he asked.

A lone motorboat sped out of the sunrise toward the island. It cut

the ocean waves and rattled through the stillness. Candace's raggedy red hair

blew in the cold morning breeze. She looked back at the rising sun, almost

blinding herself. She wondered if she would see that sun set at the end of

the day. She turned and looked back at the island nervously. She'd gotten as

ready as she could to storm Phineas and Doofenshmirtz's fortress. She'd

mapped out all the weapons systems and planned ways to counter and evade all

of them. She had used the blueprints to build a few more tools that would

help her as well. She was armed, too. She had strung on some kitchenware for

basic armor, wrapped her body, helmet and arms in foil to protect her from the

laser cannons and even smooth-talked the police department into letting her

borrow a bulletproof vest. She had found a large mirror in the dump and

strapped it to a large trash can lid (actually, a trash can lid with multiple sheets of

thick scrap metal bolted into it) as further laser protection. She also

was carrying an iron bar for hand-to-hand fighting and had built a mini

version of a "Space Laserinator" she'd found in Phineas and Ferb's blueprints,

which meant she had a small laser pistol with her.

It had been a long night.

Candace hadn't slept since the day before, but adrenaline was keeping

her awake. She hoped they wouldn't spot her for a while. She had put the

sensor on her boat, but was now using it as a radar tracker for incoming

missiles and whatnot instead of viewing the world on a computer screen. She'd

hooked it up to some speakers instead of Stacy's laptop, so all she got was

sound and warnings.

Candace looked at the map she'd drawn from the sensor's information.

The line of sea mines should've been...

"Sea mines ahead, closing in ten, nine..." the tracker began.

Candace picked up an orb and hit a button on it. She and the boat

turned translucent. Phineas and Ferb long ago had made a contraption that

let them pass through solid objects. Candace had rebuilt it and ghosting was

her primary plan for getting through Phineas' defense grid. Her boat slid

safely through the mines without setting them off.

"I don't understand..." said Isabella, "she just went straight through

your wall of sea mines and they didn't explode."

"Strange..." Phineas said.

"What? What?" Doofenshmirtz asked.

"Well, the rockets'll fire next..." Phineas muttered.

"Incoming missiles," the tracker said.

Candace wasn't worried. She was still in ghost mode. The rockets

flew right through her and the boat.

But then something surprised her.

When the rockets exploded, they threw the boat high into the air.

Candace screamed but the boat came down safely. She could she char marks

where the blasts had hit.

"What?" Candace yelped confusedly. She quickly dodged a couple more

rockets before realizing what the problem was. "The orb only passes through

solid objects..." she muttered, "it won't protect you from the energy in an

explosion!"

She looked up. A veritable torrent of missiles was coming down at her.

An idea hit her. She slowed the boat down. As the missiles closed, she

suddenly sped up.

Well, missiles are a lot faster than a boat, so her attempt to dodge

the rockets failed miserably, however, they did land BEHIND the boat, so when

they exploded, besides annihilating the boat's motor (that wasn't good, the

boat was rented), the craft got flung forward at a flesh-ripping pace.

Candace would've screamed but the force of the blasts was so strong she

couldn't do anything but open her mouth. She flew off the boat and forward a

few hundred feet and belly-flop skipped like a rock across the water.

Thank goodness her gut had a cookie sheet over it.

She finally plunked down into the water, followed by a hail of

machine gun fire and a mighty laser blast. The water/bulletproof vest/foil

saved her life (she'd lost the ghosting orb in the blast). Candace dived

underwater to avoid further shots. It seemed to work, as the gunfire suddenly

ceased when she did.

"She's underwater," Phineas noted, "the radar wasn't designed to

penetrate water."

"As long as she's down there we won't be able to fire at her,"

Isabella added.

"She can't hold her breath for long, though," Phineas muttered.

Good news, Candace was close to the island. Bad news, she didn't have

her boat and she was being dragged away by the rip tide. She battled it hard,

trying to use her shield as a paddle and also trying to stay underwater. She

didn't like getting shot at. After about a minute she thought her lungs were

going to explode so she stuck her head up for some air. Immediately, more

gunfire erupted. Candace lifted her shield over her head, deflecting most of

it. She tried vainly to hold it in place as she swam against the riptide with

one arm. It was no use. She couldn't get any closer to the island. She

ducked underwater to avoid some more rocket fire. The rockets hit the ocean a

few feet from where she had been, blew up and made a powerful wave. Candace

caught the wave (underwater) with her shield and it carried her past the

riptide.

After getting past the tide, Candace poked her head up and took a

quick breath before diving back under. Apparently she was fast enough that

the guns didn't pick her up because nothing shot at her that time. She swam a

few hundred feet further, taking breaths occasionally, finally reaching water

that was shallow enough that she could stand. She stayed low, shield raised

in case of further attacks, though her head was out of the water. She saw a

mess of little red dots sweeping the water for her. Laser designators.

"Phineas, I swear if I survive this I'm gonna kill you!" Candace

whispered angrily. She chanced a careful glance past her shield and saw a

line of machine guns on the beach she was approaching, with an assortment of

deadly weapons staged on the cliffs above.

Candace didn't know what D-day was, but if she had, she would've

noticed the similarity.

Candace noticed that the lasers kept passing over her, but they didn't

fire. She suddenly realized her mirror was messing them up. As long as

they hit that instead of her, they wouldn't shoot. She reached down and

pulled the waterlogged laser pistol she'd brought and aimed it at one of the

guns. Incredibly, the soaked pistol fired, destroying the gun. The other

guns seemed indifferent to it's destruction, and continued sweeping the water.

Candace took aim and blew up another one.

The radar had picked up Candace, but the nearby weapons were on laser

designate.

"She's almost to the shore, I'm impressed," Isabella noted.

The Flynn-Fletchers looked hopefully toward the eastern windows.

"C'mon Candace..." Dad muttered.

Perry growled an agreement.

"You can blow up the entire FBI, but you can't keep a stupid teenage

girl off my property?" Doofenshmirtz yelled at Phineas.

"Like I said, she's the only one that can get past my defense grid,"

Phineas retorted boredly. He shifted the guns to radar mode.

"Why her?" Doofenshmirtz asked incredulously.

"Because she's a Flynn, and only another Flynn is creative enough to

get past something that I build."

Ferb cleared his throat loudly.

"OR a Fletcher," Phineas added.

The lasers suddenly turned off and all the guns swiveled toward

Candace.

"Uh oh," she groaned.

A storm of gunfire blasted forth from the beach. Candace ducked down

as far as she could into the water. Bullets splashed about her and glanced

off her shield, which only survived because she held it at an angle. She

wanted to take another shot at the guns but there was so much gunfire that

if she stuck anything out of the water or past her shield it would get blasted

to smithereens. Besides the guns, there was more rocket and laser fire. She

knew that if a rocket hit her she was dead, either from it's explosion or

because it would knock her shield out of place and get her shot. She moved

quickly toward the shore, avoiding the rockets as best she could. One of the

missiles exploded mere feet from her, nearly knocking her shield from her grip.

Candace knew that if she didn't find a way to stop the guns she was dead. A

laser fired at her, but bounced off her shield, giving Candace an idea. The

laser fire was a steady, searing beam rather than multiple shots. Candace

held her shield against it and turned the reflected beam onto the line of

machine guns, sweeping across them and destroying them instantly. She evaded

another rocket attack and aimed the beam at the cliffs, destroying each rocket

launcher in turn, then moving on to the laser cannons and finally destroying

the one she was using to obliterate everything else. Candace kept her shield

up for a minute, then slowly peaked over the top. The coastal defenses were a

smoking wreck. Candace whooped and jumped into the air, pumping her fist.

"Yeah! Take that Phineas!"

"Candace is on a roll today!" Isabella exclaimed.

"Some defensive grid," Doofenshmirtz growled.

"Chill," Phineas assured, "they'll get her. These next guns will wait

until she walks past and then shoot her from behind while others attack from

the front. She'd have to know they were there beforehand to get past them."

Candace stooped and took a breather. She was exhausted, but excited.

It looked like she might just make it to Doofenshmirtz's lair. She looked up

the cliffs. A trail led up them and to a large purple building that said,

Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated on it.

"Hang in there Mom and Dad. Hold on Ferb and Perry and Isabella, I'm

coming," she muttered.

She took out her (very wet) map of the island. All along the trail

were gun emplacements that were, according to the sensor, designed to shoot

you AFTER you walked by at the same time you got shot at in the front, and on

both sides. There was also an evil gorilla robot and a swarm of killer bees

to get rid of people who were particularly adept at surviving gunfire.

Candace had marked the positions of every gun. She began ascending

the cliffs, but instead of walking past the guns, she first looked for them in

the rocks or foliage they were hidden in. When she spotted a gun, she took

her laser and blew it up. Once all the ambush guns for that part of the cliff

were gone, she moved up a little, following the same procedure.

"I don't get it," Phineas said, "it's almost like she knows where the

guns are. She's taking them out before she walks past."

"Maybe we should switch this to manual, the grid's computers aren't

adapting very well," Isabella suggested.

"Just what I was thinking," Phineas replied. He went and grabbed the

controls for the gun closest to Candace. He hit the "manual" button and a

screen in the control panel came on that showed the gun's view. Phineas could

see Candace looking around for the guns.

"I wonder where she got that gun?" Phineas said. He aimed at it and

fired, blasting the weapon straight out her hand. She quickly ducked behind

her shield, which was not at an angle this time and got chewed up almost

instantly by Phineas's shooting. Sensing she was about to get blown into

oblivion, Candace dived into some nearby foliage, unfortunately not escaping

Phineas' sights. He turned and aimed at her. Phineas saw her gulp.

"Nice try Candace, I guess you just weren't up to the challenge,"

Phineas snickered. He prepared to fire.

The family bowed sadly. Doofenshmirtz cackled in triumph.

"Phineas," Isabella began, "maybe you should just..."

The ground shook.

"What was that?" Doofenshmirtz asked.

BOOM. The ground shook some more.

BOOM. BOOM. BOOM. BOOM.

"Could it be? An earthquake! I'm saved!" Candace cried she picked up

her pistol and blasted the gun Phineas had aimed at her.

Phineas didn't even notice. He turned to Isabella, who was watching

the island's radar.

"Isabella, what's that?"

"Something BIG is coming from northeast," Isabella replied.

Everyone who was free in the room ran for the northeast side and

looked out the windows.

"Oh my gosh..." Isabella whispered.

"Good heavens, what it that thing?" Doofenshmirtz cried.

"Blast you, Candace!" Phineas yelled.

"Phineas!" the thing roared. Its voice shook the whole island. "If

you hurt Candace I'll turn this island inside out!"

Outside, Candace recognized the voice and looked up.

"Stacy!" she cried in delight.

Yes, a massive, skyscraper-sized Stacy megabot had stomped through

the ocean and out to the island.

A storm of missiles and lasers fired at the mighty Stacybot. It held

up it's hands to shield itself, partly protecting it from the onslaught. The

weapons laid hard into it tossing the robot back onto it's hind end.

"Candace!" the robot cried, "I'll hold him off! Get to the fortress,

hurry!"

Candace didn't need to be told twice. She sprinted up the trail. The

defenses weren't a problem anymore. They were all shooting at the new threat.

Candace wondered how Stacy had gotten a giant robot... she'd have to find out

later. Right now, she was just glad she wasn't getting shot at anymore.

Stacy was in the robot's head, controlling it. Right now her robot

was getting pummeled hard core by Phineas' defenses.

"Ugh!" she growled as another barrage of rockets laid into it. She

didn't know how long this thing could hold up. It was big, but it wasn't

exactly blast-armored.

"Eat Space Laserinators!" Stacy yelled. She grabbed the controls,

which, interestingly, were shaped like ones on a certain video game and pointed

her robot's arms toward the island. The robot's hands opened up to reveal two

huge laser cannons, which Stacy unleashed on the island. The cannons tore

through the island's tiny guns like paper.

It was an incredible firefight. Stacy had the commanding position

and bigger guns, while the defense grid had smaller guns but a whole lot more

of them. The Flynn-Fletchers, Isabella, Perry and even Norm watched in awe as

the titanic Stacy battled with the island. A barrage of rockets hit Stacy,

blowing bits of metal from her robot's body. Stacy retaliated with a quick

string of laser blasts that knocked out dozens of launchers. The island then

tore into her with a concentrated laser blast that tore a chunk out of the

robot's side (everyone was glad this wasn't the real Stacy, watching her guts

fly all over the place wouldn't have been a pretty sight.) Stacy's robot

cringed from the blow, nearly collapsing.

"Aw, man you can't die yet!" Stacy yelled. She suddenly realized

that trading shots wasn't going to work. The island would win. Her only hope

was to destroy the defenses faster than they destroyed her. She raised her

guns and, with a war yell, began firing with complete abandon. The defenses

fought back, though with only the same intensity. Stacy's shots were wild,

hitting guns, trees, rocks and, a couple times, almost hitting Candace. She

had some strategy though. She went for the lasers first, as their constant

beams were quickly wearing down her robot. She dispatched them quickly, then

began shooting the rockets. The island continued its incessant barrage,

blowing off one of Stacybot's arms and leaving it with only one cannon.

Pieces of the rest of the robot were quickly being blasted away, too. Soon

the robot had dozens of mechanical wounds. Stacy couldn't believe it was

still firing. The robot stood firmly despite the damage, almost as if it knew

how important its cause was. Stacy fired desperately, hoping beyond hope

her remaining cannon could finish off the island's defensive network. She

continued firing on, not thinking of anything except getting rid of those

guns. She was so focused on her task that she didn't even notice when the

shots from the island began dying down. Somehow, she'd managed to take out

so many guns that the island began running out of firepower. The island's

gunfire decreased until only occasional rockets fired and only a handful of

machine guns still sputtered. Stacy was still in her battle frenzy and shot

the remaining defenses without realizing it. She kept firing for nearly a

full minute before she realized the island had stopped shooting at her. The

robot lowered it's arms and looked around.

"I- I won?" Stacy blubbered, "I did! I won! Whoo!"

Back in the lab, Isabella glanced over at Phineas, who by now was

clearly ticked off.

"Rats! All that hard work, down the toilet!" he griped.

Isabella looked at the celebrating Stacybot. It had more holes in it

than a block of Swiss cheese.

"Uh... now what happens, Phineas? Does Candace win?" she asked.

Phineas chuckled, "No way, it just means the automated defense grid

is down. Now we can bring out the big guns!" He walked over to a big chair

with a control panel in front of it and lots of buttons and joysticks on the

arms. He plunked down in the chair, which faced out window.

"You think you're real smart, huh Candace?" Phineas growled, well two

can play at this game!" he pushed a button and the whole island began to

rumble.

"Phineas, what-whoa," Isabella said. Out the window, she could see

the ocean dropping away as the island rose high into the air.

Stacy stopped celebrating. A large Phineas robot was rising from the

ocean with Doofenshmirtz's lab on top.

"Uh, oh," Stacy said. The Phinandroid actually turned out to be much

shorter than her robot, but it didn't matter, because hers was almost dead

already. She didn't wait for him to open fire. Stacy took the first shot

with her surviving cannon, but something stopped the laser before it hit the

Phinandroid. Stacy fired madly, but every shot just got absorbed by some

invisible force around the robot.

The Phinandroid spoke. "Like my force field?" he cackled, "You

thought you could save Candace, didn't you? You thought YOU could defeat me,

didn't you?"

Stacy yelled and tried to punch the Phinandroid, getting blocked

again by it's force field. The Phineas robot raised its arms, which had two

heavy blasters, and fired straight into the devastated Stacybot, sending it

crashing to the ground. Before it could rise, the Phinandroid came and

stepped on it, holding it down with it's foot. It aimed its mighty cannons

at the Stacybot's head, where Stacy was.

"Stacy, noooo!" Candace cried in agony. She was getting close to the

lab. She had seen her valiant best friend fall (well, she saw the robot she

was inside of fall.) It looked like Stacy's prophecy about getting her head

blown off was about to come true.

"Too bad you didn't just stay out of this Stacy, you weren't on my

list," Phineas jeered, "any last words?"

"Never..." Stacy replied.

"Never, what?" Phineas prodded.

"Never... underestimate..." she continued.

"Never underestimate what?" Phineas growled.

"Never... underestimate... the power of..."

"What? The power of friendship? Is that what you're about to say?"

he laughed, "That's as cliché as it is pathetic!"

"No!" Stacy yelled back.

"No?"

"Never underestimate the power of the Fireside Girls!" Stacy cried.

"What?" At that moment, Phineas heard a weird, science-fictiony time-

travel sound behind him. He turned and saw a large cylinder vaporize from the

ceiling.

"What was that thing?" Isabella asked him.

"The force field generator," Phineas groaned.

A huge robotic fist caught the Phinandroid in the back of the head,

sending it sprawling onto it's big nose.

The punch threw Candace forward with the rest of the island.

"AHH!" she screamed. When the android hit the ground, Candace

almost fell of the side of the now-sideways island, saved only by a tree

branch. She looked up at the Phinandroid's assailant. A giant Fireside Girl

robot stood triumphantly over it's foe.

"Take that, Phineas!" it shouted.

"Let Isabella go!" another voice shouted from it.

The Phinandroid tried to rise, but it got a kick from Stacy's torn-

up robot. It and the Fireside bot began trading hits with each other on the

Phinandroid. Phineas tried to fight them off, but he couldn't guard both his

back and front at the same time.

BAM! WHACK! CRASH! Candace would've been delighted by her allies'

Success-if she been on the robot that was getting thrown about. She

screeched and squealed and clung desperately to anything she could get her

hands on.

"Please don't fall, please don't-" the Fireside Girls laid into

Phineas once more, throwing Candace screaming into the air. As luck would

have it, she landed about two hundred feet from the entrance to

Doofenshmirtz's lair... but down-cliff from it. Candace looked up. She had

to get there... it was her only chance...

The Phinandroid crashed down on its back. It looked like Stacy and

the Fireside girls had beaten him.

Not yet.

"Isabella!" Phineas called from horizontal position.

Isabella was hanging off a rafter. "Wha-what?"

"When I stand this thing up, go to that weird glass elevator thing in

the middle of the room!"

"There's a weird elevator thing in the middle of the room?"

"For like, the past two days!"

Isabella looked around. "I see it!"

"Good!" Phineas pulled a lever and the Phinandroid leapt to it's

feet. Bringing the room upright and putting a relieved Candace back on land.

He quickly stepped back to avoid two punches from the Stacybot and the

Firedroid. Isabella dashed for the elevator thing and went inside. It

promptly dropped a squealing Isabella down into the floor, which closed when

she was underneath.

Stacy and the Fireside Girls advanced on the Phinandroid, preparing

to pulverize it. Suddenly, it froze. Then it started to retch. Stacy and

the girls stopped, confused by their enemy's strange behavior.

"What's it doing?" one of the Fireside Girls asked.

"GACK! GACK! GACK!" the Phinandroid gagged.

Stacy backed up her robot. Something bad was about to happen.

"GRUUAAGG! PTOO!" the Phinandroid upchucked what looked like an iron

hairball. The hairball plunked down into the water and came up, bobbing like

a fishing lure.

The robots all looked down at it.

"Gross," Stacy said flatly.

"Ew!" the Fireside Girls cried together.

Suddenly, the ball began to expand. It grew dozens of stories tall

and got arms and legs and... a pink dress... Isabella's pink dress.

Stacy and the Fireside Girls were dumbfounded.

"Is-Isabella? Is that you?" one of the Fireside Girls asked.

"Phineas made a giant Isabella robot?" Stacy blubbered.

"Phineas, you made a giant robot me?" Isabella cried from inside the

Isabot's head (through a communicator).

"Just in case," Phineas replied.

"Whoa," Isabella, Stacy and the Fireside Girls breathed together.

Phineas pointed his robot's arm at the Stacybot. "Round two! Ding!"

He shouted, firing a laser blast at it and missing.

"Fireside Girls, salute!" Isabella shouted.

The Firedroid promptly saluted its leader, who returned it with a

good slug in the face.

"AUGH!" the betrayed Fireside Girls shouted as their robot flew back

and landed on it's rump.

"AHAHAHAHA!" Isabella laughed maniacally. She was having fun

playing bad guy. She strutted over to the Firebot and spoke in her worst bad

guy voice, "You pathetic Fireside Girls thought you could defeat me, did you?"

"We'll never give up, Isabot! Good will always triumph in the end!"

Isabella cackled menacingly, then she offered the Firebot a hand.

"I'm just messing with you guys, are you all right?"

"Maybe you should ask our goldfish!" one of the girls responded.

"Huh?"

The Firebot swung its fist out of the water. It was carrying what

looked like a (very shocked) beluga whale. The whale bellowed as it smacked

the Isabot's nose.

"Oof!" Isabella cried. She cackled again, then reverting to her bad

guy voice, yelled, "It'll take more than an oversized mollusk to defeat me!"

The Firebot stood up, "Mollusk?"

"Uhh... mammal."

"Isabella, are you on Phineas' side or our side?"

"Technically I'm on Phineas', but right now I'm just kind of messing

around. How have things been? Is my mom all right?"

"Your mom's really worried about you! She's worried that you're dead

or something!"

"Candace! I told you to tell my mom I as okay!" Isabella shouted

angrily.

"Sorry! I left a note!" Candace yelled from somewhere on the

Phinandroid.

"We've been lost, too! We haven't earned any patches since you left!"

"Really? Wow, it's too bad this Doofenshmirtz guy had to ruin

everything."

"Doofenwhatz?"

"Nobody. Hey, you can get your giant robot fighting patches if you

want!"

"Yeah! Let's do it!"

The Isabot opened with a punch, which the Firebot blocked. It grabbed

the arm and bit it.

Biting doesn't hurt a robot, so Isabot took advantage of the moment

and head-butted the Firebot's face. It's stumbled back and ducked as the

Isabot fired a rocket over its head.

"C'mon guys, you can do better than this!" Isabella coaxed.

"Yeah..." the Firebot agreed. It opened its hands and unleashed a

storm of laser fire at the Isabot.

"Ahh!" Isabella screamed. The robot raised its arms in a feeble

defense and got knocked down hard by the blast.

BOOM!

Isabot looked up at the Firebot. Where its head had been there was

a smoldering stump. The robot fell flat on its front and the injured

Fireside girls crawled out, groaning.

"Thanks for distracting them Isabella! We won!"

Isabot looked behind it and saw the Stacybot lying dead in the water.

Without the Firebot's help, it had been easily defeated by the much less-

damaged Phinandroid.

"What did you do to the Fireside Girls' robot?" Isabella asked

nervously.

"Concentrated laser blast, I was only able to use it because it was

paying attention to you instead of me though."

"Fireside Girls, are you okay?" Isabella cried.

"Well, we're not *completely* dead," the lead girl coughed

sarcastically.

"C'mon back Isabella!" Phineas said. Isabella noticed her robot was

shrinking back into it's hairball form. Once it was done, the Phinandroid

picked it up and ate it. It wasn't long thereafter that Isabella was walking

out of the weird glass elevator thing in the middle of Doofenshmirtz's lab.

She noticed that the Phinandroid had collapsed back to its island state.

"Yeah! Whoo! We did it! Wow, you guys were great!" Doofenshmirtz

cheered. He and Phineas gave each other a high five.

"Told you not to worry," Phineas gloated.

"What about Candace?" Isabella asked.

"What ABOUT Candace?" Mom asked.

"There's no way she hung on during that fight," Phineas said, "and

even if she did, there was a swarm of bees and a mechanical gorilla that

would've stopped her! I just checked the radar too, nothing's there! She

must be drowned or something by now!"

Mom, Dad, Ferb and Perry hung their heads in despair. Doofenshmirtz

celebrated. Phineas stood there looking cool. Isabella looked sadly at the

prisoners. Norm didn't do anything.

"Shoulda joined us guys," Phineas said to his trapped family.

Ferb stared at him blankly. Dad sighed.

"Phineas..." Mom pleaded, "enough is enough... you've taken us to rock

bottom!"

"You know, I'm largely responsible for this," Doofenshmirtz griped,

feeling left out.

"The doctor destroyed our house, then he trapped us, then you JOINED

him, blew up our rescuers and now you've killed my daughter!" she bawled,

"Please, Phineas, have some pity on your family!"

"Should've asked that BEFORE you busted me, huh?" Phineas growled.

"Phineas, we'll do anything! Just let us go!"

"Nah."

"I'm begging you Phineas! We have nothing left!"

"You have one thing."

Mom gasped. Dad gasped too. Ferb blinked. Phineas' eyes grew wide.

Isabella's heart leapt. Perry's bill dropped. Norm didn't do anything. All

of them turned to see where the voice had come from. Standing in the door,

still in her vomit-stained, dirty, ragged pajamas (as well as foil and kitchen

ware), was a teenage girl with long even more ragged red hair. She was

covered in dirt and bruises and cuts and everything else, but, there, sure

enough, against all odds, still standing, was Candace.

"Candace!" Mom and Dad cried in delight.

"You got through!" Phineas blabbered, shocked.

"Like you said, Phineas, I'm a Flynn, I have the same blood as you

do," Candace growled.

"You seem surprised," Isabella jabbed at Phineas, just a hint of anger

in her voice. She may have been on the dark side, but she still wasn't

really... evil.

"There, Phineas, I took your stupid challenge and I won, now give me

Mom and Dad and Ferb!" Candace shouted.

Phineas regained his composure and laughed, "Over my dead body!" He

ran for a red button on the wall and pushed it. The wall ejected a small laser

gun. "My security system has inner defenses, too!" He fired his weapon at

Candace, who dived behind a crate. She fired back over her cover, missing

badly.

"Perry the Platypus, Norm, get her!" Doofenshmirtz ordered.

"Who made you the boss?" Norm sassed.

"Shut up and attack!" Doofenshmirtz growled.

"Okay, I will!" Norm retorted cheerfully. He aimed his two arms,

which were equipped with laser cannons (seems like a pattern...), at

Doofenshmirtz and fired.

Doofenshmirtz dived to the side, "Ahh! Okay okay, I'm sorry! Get

her, PLEASE!"

"That's more like it!" Norm said. He turned and aimed at the crate

Candace was hiding behind and blasted it to smithereens. Candace surprised

the mechanical fiend by delivering a reflex blast into his metallic eye.

"Ow! That hurt!" Norm griped happily.

Perry hadn't even moved yet. He wanted to avoid attacking Candace as

long as possible.

"Perry the Platypus, do something!" Doofenshmirtz cried.

Perry sighed. He began a slow jog over to the new cover Candace was

hiding behind.

Meanwhile, Candace and Phineas had been firing back and forth at each

other from behind cover. Mom and Dad were cheering wildly for Candace.

After several missed shots, Phineas called for some backup, "Hey,

Isabella, I could use some help over here!"

Isabella groaned. She was starting to regret making that oath to

Phineas. She looked around for something she could use.

"Ow!" Candace yiped. She'd taken a minor hit from Phineas.

"Ha! Take that!" Phineas yelled.

"And this!" Norm cried. He fired a mighty blast at Candace's

temporarily exposed head. Luckily she ducked, and he melted the wall behind

her instead.

"And this too!" Doofenshmirtz grated. He was sitting behind his first

-inator, which just fired a laser beam. He fired at her crate and blew it up.

Exposed, Candace dashed for a pile of...stuff and jumped behind it,

but not before getting shot twice. She collapsed behind the junk, breathing

hard. She was hurt. They hadn't hit anything vital, but her burns weren't

what she was worried about. She was outgunned three to one and once Isabella

and Perry joined it would be FIVE to one.

Suddenly, Norm blew up her junk pile. For some reason, Candace didn't

try to find more cover. Instead she did something completely stupid. At a

loss for a way to defeat so many enemies, she charged straight at them. She

shot Norm first, preventing the worst shots. She then whirled and fired at a

surprised Phineas, knocking him over and also getting shot by him in the gut,

and then jumped as Doofenshmirtz fired his -inator and fired back, hitting him

square between the eyes. Candace wasn't a trained fighter, but she was a good

shot.

"Ahhh! My eyes! I'm blind!" Doofenshmirtz griped. As he

screeched, he threw his hands over his eyes and flung off the (now very

sweaty) disintegrate button that he (and sometimes Norm) had hung onto ever

since he first captured the Flynn-Fletchers. Perry saw it coming down button-first.

He threw his hat and deflected it, but it only slowed the fall.

By this time Candace had seen it. She didn't know what it was for,

but she figured if Doofenshmirtz was carrying it, then she wanted to get rid

of it. She fired three shots at it and blasted it out of the sky. Perry

couldn't believe it. He was free!

Payback time.

Perry let out a war yell (not an easy thing for a platypus to do, by

the way) and barreled straight at Doofenshmirtz, catching his sternum in the most

brutal platypus tackle the world had ever seen. Doofenshmirtz screamed madly

as Perry unleashed a hellish flurry, no, BLIZZARD of kicks, punches, slashes,

pecks, bites, pelt whacks, face slams and all manner of other vicious attacks,

releasing his week-and-a-half of pent up rage onto the doctor in one horrific

assault.

"N-NOW! N-NOUCH! UGH! NOOOORRRRMMMM! HELP ME!" Doofenshmirtz

screeched.

Candace had been dodging around Norm's feet, trying to stay under

range of his lasers and also trying not to get stomped. Norm heard his

master's cry and ran to save him. Candace quickly twisted and started firing

incessantly at Phineas' position, making it so he couldn't rise to fire for

fear of being hit.

"Nice try, Candace, but I've still got more!" he shouted defiantly.

He pulled something from his pocket. A dozen or so laser-armed sentry bots

came spilling out from the wall, as well as several mounted guns.

Candace screamed and ran for cover firing as she went, she took down a

couple of the bots, but got hit a few more times as she ran. She crashed

behind one of Doofenshmirtz's inventions. She was lacerated with burns. Only

her adrenaline kept her going. Candace hadn't picked the greatest hiding spot-

some of the bots and guns were actually on THAT side of the creation. She

rolled to evade their shots and fired back, successfully dispatching them.

However once that was done, swarms of sentry bots started crawling around and

over the invention. At the same time Phineas was coming up behind, and even

Isabella had jumped onto one of Doofenshmirtz's inventions and was pointing it

at her. Candace fired wildly in all directions, trying desperately to fend

off her enemies before she was completely surrounded and burnt to a crisp.

Suddenly, a barrage of laser fire came from behind the invention and

nailed several of the sentry bots.

"Candace! Get your parents, we'll cover you!" Stacy screamed. She

and her battered crew of Fireside Girls had entered the fray and brought in

even more mini-space-lasers.

Candace leapt over the boxes, narrowly dodging Phineas and Isabella's

attacks (Isabella hit the box and it turned into a roll of two-ply, which drew

an immediate groan from her.) The Sentry bots were now firing at Stacy and

the Fireside Girls, who had taken up defensive positions, so Candace made a

mad dash for the glass box her family was being held in.

"C'mon, Candace! You can make it!" Dad shouted

"You're almost there!" Mom yelled.

Candace gritted her teeth. She only had about twenty feet to go,

when-

"NNOOOO!" Phineas leapt out of in front of Candace and fired a shot

which she dodged. Both brother and sister fired at the same time, both

striking the other's weapon and sending them flying.

"Get outta the way, twerp!" Candace roared.

"Never!" Phineas shouted.

As they argued, the rest of the room slowly quit fighting and looked

over, realizing what was about to happen.

"Get outta the way or I'll bust you-open!" Candace shot back.

"I'd like to see you try!"

Candace pulled out her bar and raised it over her head. "I've had it

with you Phineas! Brother or not, I will literally pulverize you if you don't

move!"

Phineas laughed. "Sentry bot, toss me a bar!" he ordered pointing at

one of the robots. It threw him his own iron bar.

Candace shook her head. Her brother had completely lost it.

"Phineas, I don't want to fight with you," she pleaded, softening a little.

"Why not?"

"Well, you're still my little brother, even if you turned evil."

Phineas responded by whacking her in the shins with his bar. Candace

buckled in pain.

"BOO!" Mom and Dad cried together.

Stacy raised her gun. "You're gonna pay for that you little jerk!"

She yelled. Unfortunately, the sentry bots all turned to face Stacy, who

had to duck to avoid their lasers.

"Yeah, good one!" Doofenshmirtz cackled.

Candace caught Phineas' next swing with her bar. She jumped to her

feet and almost collapsed again. The adrenaline was starting to wear off and

now she was suddenly realizing just how tired she was. Her burns burned, her

muscles ached, her chest was killing her and it seemed like she couldn't quite

get enough air.

Phineas struck a couple more times. Candace parried both blows, but

it was clear she didn't have much left in her.

"Phineas, please I'm your sister, I don't want to hurt you."

"Maybe you should worry about ME hurting YOU a little more," Phineas

yelled and flung out a series of quick strikes, finally catching her gut and

causing her to collapse to her knees.

"Phineas, please..." she begged.

He hit her in the mouth and knocked her over. Candace clapped her

hand to her mouth and started crying softly, dropping her bar.

"Phineas, stop!" Mom yelled angrily.

"Shut up!" Phineas roared. He strolled over to Candace and stood over

her. She looked up at him with tear-filled eyes.

"Look at you, weak, pathetic, crying every time I hurt you a little,"

Phineas ranted, "I still don't know why I ever thought you were cool."

Candace cried a little harder.

"Go on Candace, cry, keep trying to win my sympathy. It ain't there."

Candace took her hand off her mouth for a moment, "You're my brother,

Phineas, I care about you. That's why it hurts me to fight you."

"YOU care about ME? That's a good joke. I guess you kept trying to

bust me because you loved me, huh? Is that right?"

"I didn't think I'd ever really-mmph!" Phineas kicked her in the

mouth again.

"Shut up," Phineas said calmly, "you're a worthless creep. That's all

you ever were and it's all you ever will be. Let's end this," He raised his

bar over Candace's head to deliver the last blow.

"Candace! Don't, Phineas!" Mom cried in agony.

Candace glanced at her desperate mother, who herself was in tears,

then at the bar.

"Goodbye, Candace," Phineas said calmly. He swung his bar down at

Candace's head. Everyone, even Norm and Doofenshmirtz, turned away.

WHACK! Stacy put her head in her hands. That was it. They were

done. She turned back to look at her fallen friend and gasped. Gasps were

heard all over the room as everyone turned back and saw what had happened.

Candace had caught Phineas' hand as he swung. Phineas' eyes were

wide with surprise. His sister twisted his wrist and made him drop his

weapon. Then she reached out, grabbed his shirt and stood up, pulling him

into the air. Her expression had changed from one of dejected sadness to...

it was hard to describe. It was one of those emotions that you don't feel

very often and that lesser people aren't even capable of. It was a glare that

would make even the bravest, strongest man in the world quail. It was like

the stare of a destroying angel. It was an expression that only one defending

the weak and downtrodden from the strong and the cruel could wear. It was the

courage of the patriot, the love of the parent, the rightness of justice, the

dignity of the heavens, the wrath of the hurricane, the strength of the

mountain, the calm of the breeze and the resolve of the explorer all rolled

into one. A divine force of good that shook throughout the very eternities.

The vindicating, righteous fury of a girl defending her mother.

Phineas was clearly terrified now, "Uhh, Candace?" he asked timidly.

Holding his shirt with her left hand, Candace raised her right fist.

POW! Candace drove her fist straight into Phineas' skull and

slammed him to the ground. He landed on his face and rolled onto his back,

rubbing his head.

Candace didn't chase him. She picked up her bar and walked to the

disintegrator box her family was in. She got close and raised her weapon.

"Oh, no you don't!" Phineas shouted, jumping to his feet. Candace

turned calmly and gave him the same icy stare. For some reason, he stopped.

There was something behind that glare that even Phineas realized he'd better

not mess with.

Candace turned back, raised her bar and whacked the glass. It cracked

a bit. She hit it again. The cracks widened. She pounded it a third time.

It looked about to shatter.

Finally, Phineas collected himself. He let out a war yell and charged

Candace, tackling her before she could smash the glass. There was a

collective groan from the good guys. The two siblings wrestled on the floor.

Candace finally shoved Phineas back, stood up and threw the bar over his head

and into the cracks on the box.

SMASH! Glass came spilling down from the box and covered the floor.

Mom, Dad and Ferb came cheering through the gap, free at last. They came

running straight for Candace.

Candace's exhausted brain hadn't quite caught up with the situation.

She saw her mom and dad rushing over to her, but was surprised when Ferb

reached her first. He stared up at her. She suddenly remembered that he also

had an ax to grind with her. She was worried he was going to hit her.

Instead, he embraced her.

"Ferb, you're not mad at me?" she asked.

"You risked your life for us," he replied, "I once thought my brother

was my best friend. Now I know it was my sister all along."

"Candace you did it!" Mom squealed as she leapt upon her daughter and

pulled her into a bone-crushing hug. She was in tears again, but for a

different reason.

Next came Dad, who did his best to squash them all, "Hats off to you,

Candace, I'm so proud of you!"

"Urg!" Candace was having trouble breathing by now.

"Hey! Let me in there! Way to go, Candace!" Stacy jumped in too.

Perry came and sat on Candace's shoulder.

Through the crush, Candace managed a shy smile, "Thanks," she said.

While all this went on Doofenshmirtz and Norm sat there and watched.

Doofenshmirtz sniffed, "I wish my family loved me that much!"

"Aw, come here," Norm said as he gave the demented doctor a hug.

"Thanks, Norm," Doofenshmirtz replied.

The sentry bots/guns sensed the lack of a violent atmosphere and

retreated into the walls from whence they came. Isabella watched the

spectacle, not sure how to react.

"Isabella!"

Isabella looked and saw the Fireside Girls approaching her.

"Girls?" Isabella looked at the battered girls and felt a horrible

sense of guilt wash over her. She looked at the floor.

"What's wrong?" one of the girls asked.

"I'm sorry..." she replied, "you got hurt and it's-"

The girls responded by lifting her onto their shoulders.

"Girls, we've found our troop leader!" the lead girl said, "Let's hear

it for Isabella!"

"Isa! Isa! Isa!" the girls chanted. Isabella smiled. She looked

around. The battlefield had apparently been turned into a mushy love field.

Everyone was happy and relieved and excited. Except for one person.

Phineas stood alone. Watching the scene. Looking totally dejected.

"Girls, I hate to interrupt, but could you let me down?"

"Sure, Isabella," one of them said.

The girls put her down. She walked over to Phineas.

"Wow," she began, "everyone's really happy."

"Yeah," Phineas said.

"Everyone except you," Isabella continued.

"Actually, I'm all right," he replied.

"No you're not."

"Actually I am. I may have lost the battle, but I haven't lost the

war."

Isabella's eyes grew wide with fright, "What do you mean?"

"It's almost time for the surprise... and the test."

By now everyone had let go of Candace and a conversation had started.

"Thanks, Stace," said Candace.

"Hey, what're friends for?" she asked.

"I don't understand though..." Mom began, "where'd you get the giant

robots from?"

"And the lasers?" Dad added.

"Phineas and Ferb's project book," Stacy and Candace said together.

"So you beat Phineas with his own technology? And mine?" Ferb asked.

"Yep," Stacy replied.

"We can't make the stuff, but we can read directions," Candace said.

Doofenshmirtz had had about enough by now. He stood up and shouted to

the room: "Hey, we're not done! You still have to escape my lair, you know!"

Perry growled loudly at him.

"What? What do you mean you don't?" Doofenshmirtz cried.

Suddenly, an army of government agents in black clothes came pouring

through the door. They quickly enveloped Doofenshmirtz and arrested him.

"Curse you Perry the Platypus!" he shouted as they pulled him away.

Perry had a very satisfied smile on his face. He'd called the agency.

"Eh, em. Candace?" said a gruff voice.

"Huh?" Candace responded, "Major Monogram! You're not dead!"

"Turns out he was at his vacation house in Florida," Carl griped.

"Carl, don't you have some paperwork to file?" Monogram barked.

"No, sir."

"Well then shut up anyway!"

"Remember what we talked about sir?"

Mom, Dad, Ferb and Stacy all looked bewildered. Perry rolled his

eyes. Candace laughed.

"Candace, we've come to thank you and congratulate you on a job well

done. You and your friends did what we could not. You saved your family and

captured Doofenshmirtz."

"Just out of curiosity, what are you going to do with him?" Candace

asked.

"I'm telling you, he's really lucky his defense grid didn't kill

anyone when we tried to attack the island, the penalties if he had would have

been severe!"

Isabella overheard him, "Did you... say that that defense grid didn't

kill anyone?" she asked.

"A lot of people got hurt, but no one was maimed and no one died. It

was a miracle, to say the least."

Remember what I said about Isabella not being able to wake up from her

bad dream? She'd been dreaming all along, "Hear that Phineas? We're not

murderers!"

"That's what I was trying to tell you," Phineas groaned.

"My life isn't over! I'm not going to H-E-double-!"

"I'm not going back with everyone, you know," Phineas said.

"Huh?"

"I'm not going home. There's nothing for me back there."

Isabella couldn't really argue with that. "Well, what're you going to

do then? Sit on this island all by yourself?"

"Yep."

"C'mon, Phineas, there must be some other way."

"It's all right, Isabella. I'll be okay."

"No you won't!"

"Sure I will."

"Well, if you're staying here, then so am I!"

"No, Isabella, you go home. Your Mom needs you. The Fireside Girls

need you. It's okay, really. You've got a great life to go back to. I want

you to live it and be happy."

"You mean it?"

"Yeah."

"Well that's too bad! 'Cause I'm not going home without you! I swore

I would stand by you and I will!"

"I release you from that oath, okay? I don't want you to keep it

anymore."

"Doesn't matter, I'm not leaving you"

Phineas laughed, then he lost his composure and shouted, straight in

her face, "Isabella, go home, you stupid excuse for a friend! I hate you! I

don't want to see you! I don't want to see anybody! My life is ruined

because you didn't fight hard enough!" Then he collapsed to his knees and

started sobbing.

"I'm slightly offended by your insults, but I'm not going to leave,"

Isabella said bluntly.

Phineas cried a bit, then he blubbered, "Isabella... I'm sorry. I

don't hate you. I just-can't stand to watch you suffer for me anymore.

Please, Isabella, please go home."

"Nope. I'm staying right here."

"Boy, Isabella, I just can't get rid of you!" Phineas said in a

perfectly normal, not-sad voice.

Isabella was startled by the sudden tone shift. Phineas looked up at

her with a big smile. His eyes were completely dry.

"You-you were faking!" she exclaimed.

Phineas laughed, "Well done, you passed the test!"

"The test?" Isabella asked. Suddenly it clicked.

"You wanted to see if I was really loyal to you!" she said, "Why?"

"Because of the surprise. Hey everyone, I have a surprise for you

all!" Phineas shouted to the room.

"I hope it's a better surprise than that defense grid, young man," Mom

growled.

"Oh, it's much better. NOW!"

Suddenly, the roof tore off the lab. In its place was a monstrous,

loud, flying machine that looked... alien.

"The SETI device!" Isabella exclaimed tightly, eyes wide.

Everyone else in the room screamed and backed away.

"Phineas, what is that!" Mom yelled.

"Take my hand, Isabella," Phineas said calmly above the spaceship's

roar, "I finished that device last night and called the aliens. I cut a deal

with them so they wouldn't attack Earth. I'll tell you more later."

Isabella nervously took Phineas' hand. A yellow beam of light came

down from the ship and engulfed them. They began rising slowly into the air.

"Ohmygosh! Ohmygosh!" Isabella squealed.

Everyone watched them in awe. Phineas called out to them.

"Mom, Dad, Ferb, Perry, Stacy, Fireside Girls, I'm sorry for how I've

acted. I was struggling, because my hopes and dreams had been shattered, but

now, I have found a new path. Fear not, for now I will be able to live my

dreams and be happy, out on the final, final frontier."

Everyone was struck with amazement. They didn't know how to react.

"Isabella," Phineas began, "you realize this may be the last time you

ever see Earth?"

"Really?" she replied shakily.

"Yeah. Are you sure you want to go with me? I really do understand

if you don't."

Isabella hesitated. She looked out over the ocean toward the

Tri-State Area. She looked at all the people below her. She was giving all

of that up.

Phineas touched her gently. He said sincerely, "I'm not testing you

anymore Isabella, you've proven to me that you're a true friend. My best

friend. Now go."

Isabella looked out a little longer, then she turned and looked at

Phineas with a smile. She threw herself on him and gave him a hug.

"Thanks, Phineas," she whispered.

"I'll miss you, Isabella."

"No you won't."

Phineas seemed genuinely surprised, "What?"

"It's gonna be just you and me against the stars!"

Phineas laughed, "You're amazing Isabella."

Isabella turned back out. They were almost to the ship. This was one

slow tractor beam, "Mrs. Flynn, tell my mom I love her! Tell her where I

am and that I'm all right!"

"O...kay..." the dumbfounded mother replied.

"Gretchen (a Fireside Girl), you're in charge now!"

"All right..." the saddened girl responded.

"Farewell to all of you!" Phineas yelled.

"Goodbye!" Isabella cried.

They were almost in the ship now. Phineas spoke once more.

"By the way, this is a trap. Candace is coming with us."

Suddenly, a long, snaky mechanical arm shot out of the ship and

grabbed Candace, who began shrieking like a banshee.

"CANDACE!" Everyone on the ground screamed.

Candace was yanked violently into the ship as a cackling Phineas and

shocked Isabella were pulled in as well. The ship blasted away in an instant,

leaving the stunned Earthlings behind.

"NOOO!" Mom shouted.

_To be continued in The Picture: Part 2-The Vengeance_


End file.
